Wednesday 19 January 2022

social distancin' 101


Saffron, Saffron, Saffron...


*shakes head*


SAFFRON!


Hey Saffron, you never heard of social distancin', before?


Scratch that.  Of course you've heard of social distancin'.  That's why it took you a year and a half, livin' out on the street, before you allowed Peepers to bring you inside.


"Seville, ayear and a half during a pandemic is only two weeks."


*raises right brow*


Uhhh...  No.  No, Saffron, I think most peeps would say it's more like fourteen years.


MOUSES!


But all that's beside the point, Saffy, my man.  The thing is, just because you're livin' indoors now, it doesn't mean you shouldn't still keep some social distancin' measures intact.  You know, keep some distance between you and the peeps.


"But they WANT to pick me up and give me cuddles, Seville."


Want, schmant.  Just because a peep might want somethin', it doesn't mean they're gonna get it.   Plus...


"Yes?"


Well there's also the bit 'bout you bein' constantly under their feet.


"All the easier for them to pick me up, I think."


All the easier for YOU to TRIP THEM up, Saffy Saffers.  Peepers is already a clutz.  Born and bred that way, she was.  She doesn't need you helpin' her to be even...


Well...


Clutzier than she already is.


MOUSES!


"What do you mean?"


Saffron, for a cat who spent months not even allowin' the peep to get near you, never mind touch you, you certainly are an awfully touchy feely kinda guy.  You're constantly weavin' this way and that, twistin' and wrappin' your body around Peepers' ankles and stuff.  She practically has to SHUFFLE from one end of the room to the other to avoid bumpin' you, or steppin' on you, or trippin' over you, or...


"Is that a problem?"


IT CERTAINLY IS when I'm waitin' for my breakkies over here, and the peep takes like ten minutes to cross the kitchen floor all 'cause you're wrapped all 'round her feet!


"Oh."


And somethin' else, Saffron, this lovey dovey business of yours is...


"Yes?"


WELL IT'S MAKIN' ME LOOK BAD.  I've become accustomed to bein' the one who dictates just how much attention peeps get in this house, you see, and your constant suckin' up to Peepers reflects badly upon my aloofness and stuff.  AND MY ALOOFNESS IS PART OF MY IRRESISTIBLE CHARM!  So Saffron, there's to be no more of this treatin' the peep's ankles like you're makin' your way through a used tire obstacle course, okay?


"I see."


Hmmm...  For some strange reason I have the distinct feelin' you actually don't.


MOUSES!


That cat is never gonna learn, I'm afraid.  Just wait 'til he well and truly trips Peepers up and she goes flyin' across the room and falls flat on her face.


On the other paw, that would be kinda fun to watch.


Hey Saffron!  As you were, my man.  As you were!  Ignore everythin' I just said.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.


9 comments:

  1. I'm glad you're there to guide Saffron on all things inside!

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  2. I learned early on to socially distance myself from my human when she is in motion! She's not the most graceful flower in the bouquet either.

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  3. Be happy Saffron is keeping the peeps busy so you get to nap more. :)

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  4. Hmm, we definitely don't think Saffy gets the whole social distancing while inside thing, Sivvers. Still, though, we are sure glad he's inside and part of your family now. Much better than outside in the cold!

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  5. Now that was an interesting conversation! Are you a wee bit envious??

    Glad Saffron is inside though.

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  6. Seville, we'd love to see a photo of Saffy!
    You know, down in a corner, so your magnificence is not impeded upon!

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  7. Saffy sounds like a real cuddlebug. I think Grammy would love him... except for the tripping factor. Sivvers... you gotta train him properly - underfoot except while meals are being served... Yep give space until fed. Then, no holds barred... go for the cuddles, ankle wraps etc.

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  8. saffron we iz BUZZED happee ewe haz dee sided two start chillaxin inn side !!!! YAY AND HOORAY :) ...oh, N tell seville ta introdooz ewe ta "fridge" ~~~~ :) ☺☺♥♥

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  9. Well Saffy clearly isnt a union member. Have a chat and tell him about his rights, and the benefits of union membership. Mainly the benefits of not getting smackie-pawed by you...
    Purrs
    ERin

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.