Saffron, Saffron, Saffron...
Hey Saffron, you never heard of social distancin', before?
Scratch that. Of course you've heard of social distancin'. That's why it took you a year and a half, livin' out on the street, before you allowed Peepers to bring you inside.
"Seville, ayear and a half during a pandemic is only two weeks."
*raises right brow*
Uhhh... No. No, Saffron, I think most peeps would say it's more like fourteen years.
But all that's beside the point, Saffy, my man. The thing is, just because you're livin' indoors now, it doesn't mean you shouldn't still keep some social distancin' measures intact. You know, keep some distance between you and the peeps.
"But they WANT to pick me up and give me cuddles, Seville."
Want, schmant. Just because a peep might want somethin', it doesn't mean they're gonna get it. Plus...
Well there's also the bit 'bout you bein' constantly under their feet.
All the easier for YOU to TRIP THEM up, Saffy Saffers. Peepers is already a clutz. Born and bred that way, she was. She doesn't need you helpin' her to be even...
Clutzier than she already is.
"What do you mean?"
Saffron, for a cat who spent months not even allowin' the peep to get near you, never mind touch you, you certainly are an awfully touchy feely kinda guy. You're constantly weavin' this way and that, twistin' and wrappin' your body around Peepers' ankles and stuff. She practically has to SHUFFLE from one end of the room to the other to avoid bumpin' you, or steppin' on you, or trippin' over you, or...
"Is that a problem?"
IT CERTAINLY IS when I'm waitin' for my breakkies over here, and the peep takes like ten minutes to cross the kitchen floor all 'cause you're wrapped all 'round her feet!
And somethin' else, Saffron, this lovey dovey business of yours is...
WELL IT'S MAKIN' ME LOOK BAD. I've become accustomed to bein' the one who dictates just how much attention peeps get in this house, you see, and your constant suckin' up to Peepers reflects badly upon my aloofness and stuff. AND MY ALOOFNESS IS PART OF MY IRRESISTIBLE CHARM! So Saffron, there's to be no more of this treatin' the peep's ankles like you're makin' your way through a used tire obstacle course, okay?
Hmmm... For some strange reason I have the distinct feelin' you actually don't.
That cat is never gonna learn, I'm afraid. Just wait 'til he well and truly trips Peepers up and she goes flyin' across the room and falls flat on her face.
On the other paw, that would be kinda fun to watch.
Hey Saffron! As you were, my man. As you were! Ignore everythin' I just said.
Remember to mask up, too.