AND I'M BACK.
Scratch that. I'm not back. At least not yet. Stayin' away from bloggin' has been gettin' easier and easier to do with each missed post, you see, but...
But if I don't come back now, I probably never will, so...
That's right, my dear friends, I, Seville the Cat, am back from my break. Back to my ol' messed-up, outdated, somewhat formulaic, and definitely cluttered blog.
What? What's that you say? What's that you're askin' me 'bout now?
Well the thing is, immediately prior to my takin' a break, I had the pleasure of receivin' an email tellin' me my blog was outdated, somewhat formulaic, and most definitely all cluttered up.
I kid you not.
Okay, so I am kiddin' a bit. Yeah, I am kiddin', for sure, 'cause let me tell you somethin', my friends: receivin' that ol' email was not pleasurable, at all.
In fact, due to my receivin' that nasty ol' email full of negative criticism and unsolicited advice, I have busied myself for the last few weeks collectin' a few odds and ends, here and there, and shall be packing 'em up forthwith to send to that half-witted turd.
Get it? I'm callin' him or her what it is I'll be sendin'. That's called foreshadowin', I do believe. I'm one smart kitty, for sure.
That's right, my dear friends, I, Seville the Cat, have been collectin' some poopies and related paraphernalia for the past few weeks, and as soon as I have this particular person's civic address, I'll be wrappin' it all up like a pretty little parcel, and mailin' it off.
Okay, so the parcel's not that little.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THE NEIGHBOURHOOD DOGGIES CAN POOP?
I think there must be some kinda relationship between the size of the dog and the size of their poop.
PEEPERS! DON'T YOU DARE GO ANYWHERE NEAR MY SPECIAL BOX!!!
It's special 'cause it's mine, Peepers. Mine, and only mine. ALL MINE!
And soon that person who sent me the email, of course.
I SAID DON'T OPEN IT!
Gosh darn it, the peep has gone and...
And there she goes, runnin' out of the room, holdin' her nose.
I did warn her, so it's all her own fault.
But peeps never listen, you know? They have that uh... What's it called... Oh yeah, SELECTIVE hearin', I do believe.
Peeps. They're gonna do what they're gonna do, no matter how much you warn them, otherwise.
And now I've gotta tape that parcel back up.
Remember to mask up, too.