I remember, way back when...
Way back when, I remember when visitin' the vet got a kitty a few extra treats, some chin scritches, and a cuddle. That was about it.
That's right, a kitty gets his shots and said kitty gets - like I said - a few extra treats, some chin scritches, and a cuddle.
EVEN IF SAID KITTY DIDN'T ACTUALLY WANT TO BE CUDDLED!
Oh sure, treats? They're good. Yup, treats are always good. Chin scritches are, too. But cuddles?
Peeps, on the other paw...
I'm tellin' ya, Peepers went to the vet on Friday for her shots, and...
What? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
Yeah, yeah, so you didn't actually go to the VET.
Let me tell you somethin', Peepers, you'd be so lucky as to get to go to my vet. I mean, Dr Teresa is great. Dr T is the best! Why, I remember once when she crawled right in my cage with me, just to make me feel better. Has YOUR doctor ever done anythin' like that?
Didn't think so.
So you didn't go to the vet, Peepers, but you did go for your shots.
Rabies, this time, was it? I thought you were lookin' a little rabid last week.
Yeah, yeah... I know. I'm just joshin' you, ol' peep of mine. I know you went for your COVID vaccine.
But the thing is...
The thing I'm tryin' to explain...
The thing is, when a kitty gets his shots, said kitty gets a few extra treats, some ch...
I KNOW I already talked about that. I'm sayin' it again 'cause it warrants bein' said twice. Even thrice, I should think.
The bottom line is, a peep goes to the vet... Oh yeah, my bad. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh... A peep goes to the COMMUNITY VACCINATION CLINIC for her shots, and what does a peep get?
Well I'll tell you what a peep should get. A peep should get NOTHIN', is what said peep should get. I mean, peeps take us cats for our shots and then they expect cuddles!
Like givin' us unwanted cuddles is really gonna benefit us.
Why, peeps get their shots and then EXPECT the world at their feet.
"We're having nachos for supper because I like nachos and, after all, I did just get my second vaccine."
"Why yes, I'd love another drink. After all, I did just get my second vaccine."
"But I LIKE binge watching The Closer on Friday nights and after all, I did just get my second vaccine."
Yup, she was milkin' it for all it was worth.
Me, me, me... That's all peeps think about, isn't it. For the past sixty-nine weeks - ie. three hundred and seventy-five million, five hundred and eighty thousand, eight hundred cat seconds - ALL I'VE HEARD from ol' Peepers is ME, ME, ME.
I mean, her.
You know what I mean.
Well let me tell you somethin', ol' peep of mine. YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' ANY CUDDLES FROM ME.
If you like, I'll paw you over an extra treat.
I'm not overly partial to those liver ones, anyway.
They taste like liver, you see.
Remember to mask up, too.