Hey Peepers, I've got some news for you. GOOD news, in fact. Maybe even the best. MAYBE even THE BEST news, EVER!!!
So um... You wanna hear 'bout my big news?
Hmph, I'm thinkin' you don't look nearly as excited as a peep should look when said peep is bein' given the option of hearin' THE. BEST. NEWS. EH-VAH.
So um... You wanna make an effort to look a little more excited than that?
Nope, still more.
Peepers, you've gotta get a twinkle in your eye.
Not a TWITCH, you stupid ol' peep! A twinkle! You've gotta get a TWINKLE in your eye, Peepers. A twinkle!
Nope, that's still lookin' like a twitch.
Okay, try this: Imagine that...
Okay, imagine that you've won a lifetime supply of catnip. That should bring a twinkle to those green eyes of yours.
Boy-oh-boy, Peepers. Apparently your eyes don't know how to twinkle.
Okay, now where was I?
Oh yeah, I'VE GOT NEWS. I've got THE BEST NEWS, for sure. I've got the best news anyone has ever heard and I, Seville the Cat, am willin' to tell you said news, but...
But I'd still like to see you showin' a little more excitement with the prospect of bein' told such good news.
Peepers, try jumpin' up and down or somethin' like that. You know that expression, jump for joy? You've heard of that? Okay, then do some jumpin' jacks. Do some JOYFUL Jumpin' Jacks, ol' peep of mine.
What? All you did was lift one foot.
And not very high, either.
Okay, since you appear to be a joyless non-jumpin' sort, try throwin' your hands up in the air. And add a little cheer while you're at it. That should do the trick.
Are your arms unable to reach above your shoulders, Peepers?
Either you're incapable of showin' even a miniscule amount of joy, or...
Or you're like the walkin' dead.
So am I just gonna have to tell you my big, excitin' news without any fanfare? No cheers? No squeals? No cries of delight?
Okay Peepers, just this once. Just this once, I'll tell you my news without your showin' the appropriately excited response that someone should have when said someone is bein' told THE MOST EXCITIN' NEWS, EH-VAH.
Just this once.
Not ever again.
You know, on account of my REALLY WANTIN' to tell you my news, and...
Gosh darn it, with your stupid ol' lack of... Of uh...
Of any noticeable signs of life...
I've totally gone and forgotten my news.
This is all your fault, Peepers.
Remember to mask up, too.