Sunday 25 July 2021

seventy-one weeks

 

And countin'.


MOUSES!


That's right, my friends.  As of today, I've been pretty much stuck here at home with these two good-for-nothin' peeps of mine for seventy-one weeks.  In other words, I've been cooped up in a house with 'em for three hundred and eighty-six million, four hundred and sixty-seven thousand, two hundred cat seconds.


And that's a whole lotta cat seconds, for sure.


MOUSES!


Now some of you have been askin' if all this stayin' close to home business has been gettin' to the peeps, driving 'em round the bend, and that sort of thing.   Well I have an answer for you.  Yup, I have an answer, for sure.


WHO THE MOUSES CARES?


I mean, this business with them bein' home all the time and gettin' on my paws is way harder on me than it is on them.  And that's an undeniable fact.


Don't believe me, huh?  Well you try livin' with my peeps practically twenty-four seven.


MOUSES!


But I will admit - BEGRUDGINGLY - that Peepers has been doin' some weird stuff, as of late.


Let me clarify that.  She has been doin' some weirder than normal stuff.  She's always been a little weird, you see.


Provide examples, you say?


No prob!


MOUSES!


Okay, so last night, Peepers made supper.  Now that's not weird, I know.  Not even weirder than normal.  A peep makin' supper is pretty much par for the course 'round here, on account of my makin' it a habit to never do meal prep or cookin'.


You know, 'cause I'm a cat.


MOUSES!


But anyway...


But anyway, you're never gonna believe what the peep made.  I'd ask you to guess, but I haven't got all day.  Peepers made birdseed.  That's right, the peep made birdseed for dinner.


Technically it was called MILLET PILAF, but you and I both know millet is nothin' more than birdseed.


Of course we do.


MOUSES!


Next thing you know, she'll be chowin' down on those little thistle seeds and sleepin' in a round bed made of sticks and twigs and things.


MOUSES!


Now to be perfectly honest, which I always am, I'm not too concerned with the peep's birdseed eatin' habits.  I mean, it's birdseed, right?  BIRDseed.  Seed meant for birds.  It's not like she's snackin' on temptin' treats and the fanciest of the feasts and...


OH MY MOUSES.


OH. MY. MOUSES!


WHAT IF SHE IS?


What if Peepers has been sneakin' into the kitchen late at night, eatin' MY bags of treats and tins of the fanciest of the feasts?


THE HORROR, I TELL YOU.  THE HORROR!


Why, if Peepers eats all my food, I, Seville the Cat, could starve.  Literally, STARVE!


Well that's that.  I'm puttin' my paw down right now.  No, I'm puttin' ALL FOUR of my paws down, for sure.  There's gonna be no more peep weirdness 'round here.  Peeps are gonna eat peep food and leave the birdseed for the birds and the cat food for me.


And Saffron, too.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.


16 comments:

  1. I think maybe you better order take out for your Peep Seville!

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh no! THis sounds serious! I think your peeps need some Therapeutic GArdening...I think they need to make a few small gardens and grow some CAt Grass, and Catnip, and Catmint......I think this will help a lot. Just keep an eye, that they're not eating it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gardens full of cat grass, catmint, and catnip... EXCELLENT idea. But there shall be no plantin' of the millet, right? Right. purrs

      Delete
  3. I like rice pilaf, but I will pass on the millet pilaf. I think your food is safe Seville. XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I sure do hope it is 'cause quite frankly, my friend, I don't wanna starve. MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. Wow, she's eating birdseed pilaf, Sivvers? Yeah, that being cooped up must really be getting to your Peep. MOUSES!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, that's just what she did. Eatin' birdseed 'cause she has been cooped up like a chicken, I suppose. MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. Ah, well, I suspect your food and mine are safe from peep indulgances, Seville. I mean they both don't eat for starters. Now I think on it they dont eat meat for seconds or thirds or even dessert! And another reason is, well, Mrs H does not eat anything fancy, so your fancy feasty meaty treaty stuff will be safe. Now should either of us take a liking for pasta and pulses, well, then I'll be up in arms, and chairs and such elevated places to protest!
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right. My peeps don't eat meat. Yours don't, either? Peepers served that birdseed pilaf with - get this - grilled tofu. MOUSES! She can keep that ol' bean curd to herself. As I said before, MOUSES!!!

      Delete
  6. Seville, my favourite food is barley, and it's ever so yummy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barley, huh? Hmmm... My favourite food is catnip. Okay, so that's not really a food, I suppose. My favourite food is treats. Okay, so a diet of treats isn't the best. My favourite food is the fanciest of the feasts. PURRS

      Delete
  7. You know Seville since they eat no meat you are fine and your meals are safe. Just don't let them try and sneak that Faux Burger on you my friend. Ugh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my mouses, my friend. That fake meat stuff? YUK! And the peeps do eat that. And tofu. And rabbit food - ie salada - and... And now birdseed. Yuk, yuk, YUK. MOUSES!

      Delete
  8. Excuze me Seville, but it is my understanding that this Covid lock down applies only to hoomons. Not us kittehs. Boidseed eating peeps sounds like it's time for yoo to go take a long walk around the yard and shake off their weirdness. Maybe take Saffron along with yoo. She pwobably needs reassurance that the Peeps aren't as cwazy and they act. Love, Dori

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, 'cause that might be why Saffron is takin' so long to come inside. MAYBE she has seen Peepers' craziness firstpaw and is thinkin' to herself, "I want none of that." MOUSES!

      Delete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.