Oh what a horrible waste.
Of all the stupid, moused-up things for a stupid ol' peep to do.
Oh hello there, my friends. I was just thinkin' aloud. Thinking 'bout how stupid Peepers is and 'bout the stupid thing she did this mornin' and...
WHAT A HORRIBLE WASTE!
Pardon me? You wanna know what Peepers did this time?
Well are you sittin' down, my friends? You definitely need to be in a sittin' position to hear this, 'cause quite frankly, if you're standin' up and I tell you what I'm about to say, you'll likely collapse from shock.
I don't want my pals fallin' down and hittin' their heads, you see.
Okay, here it is...
Are you ready?
This mornin', I found Peepers....
Oh, I just don't know if I can say it aloud.
Okay. Deep breaths. This mornin'... This mornin' I found Peepers...
THIS MORNIN' I FOUND PEEPERS CUTTIN' APART BOXES WITH A BOX CUTTER AND STUFFIN' LITTLE ITTY BITTY BITS OF PREVIOUSLY PERFECTLY GOOD BOXES INTO BLUE BAGS TO PUT OUT AS RECYCLIN' ALONG WITH THE GARBAGE.
With the garbage.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
And I was gonna use those boxes, my friends. I was gonna use 'em for nappin' and playin' and just... Well, you know... Hangin' out in, in general, but now...
NOW I'VE BEEN ROBBED!
How could she do such a thing, my friends? How could she? HOW COULD SHE STEAL MY PERFECTLY GOOD COLLECTION OF CARDBOARD BOXES?
It's not like I have an unlimited supply of boxes, you know. It's not like I have a room stuffed to the ceilin' with so many boxes that I could never possibly use all of them in all my nine lives.
I NEEDED THOSE BOXES.
I still do. *sniffs*
'Cept now... Well now they're no longer boxes, are they. *sniffs* Now they're just flat pieces of cardboard paper stuffed in a blue bag, never to be enjoyed by a cat like me, again. *sniff sniff*
OH THE TRAGEDY OF IT ALL!
If I weren't so distraught by this whole affair, I'd call up the RCMP, pronto, and make a complaint, askin' for charges to be laid. But seein' those beautiful boxes chopped up into bits and pieces before bein' hauled to the curb has left me in a desperate state of despair.
I'VE BEEN ROBBED!
Okay, so I said that before but seriously, I have, and it's worth sayin' once more.
I'VE BEEN ROBBED!
What's that? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
NOT that I'm speaking to you or anythin' like that, Peepers. But say what you must. and then I'LL DECIDE whether I'll listen or not. Once I've heard what you've had to say, that is. And let me tell you somethin', you stupid ol' peep, your apology had better be good.
You're claimin' the boxes you decimated and destroyed were just the small ones? The ones too little for me to climb inside?
THAT A FAT JOKE OR SOMETHIN' THERE, PEEPERS? You makin' fun of my size? 'Cause let me tell ya somethin': it's a well-known fact that we orange cats are what one might call, BIG BONED.
And let me tell you somethin' else. Excuses do not apologies make. An excuse is an excuse and nothin' more. An apology, on the other paw, includes the word sorry, shows some sort of contrition, and contains an ample about of begging (LIKE A DOG) for forgiveness. Plus, an apology should include a promise to never ever commit such an horrific act again, so that I may then smugly inform you how you'd be better off thinkin' before actin', so that you didn't have to beg (LIKE A DOG) for forgiveness in the first place. Or ever again.
You know, that sort of thing.
But so far I'm hearin' nothin' but excuses from you, and...
What? What's that? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
You mean to say there are still two good-sized boxes in the family room at this very moment? Two good-sized boxes that are all totally mine? Two good-sized boxes that are...
They're not chopped up, right? They're both still in one piece? This isn't some kind of cruel and horrible trick?
Well then I think I might be able to find it in my heart to forgive you, Peepers.
BUT DON'T YOU DARE CHOP UP MY BOXES AGAIN.
Remember to mask up, too.
I didn't think box destruction was even legal Seville!ReplyDelete
I'm pretty sure it isn't, my friend. Pretty sure it isn't. MOUSES!Delete
She's lucky she left two boxes, Sivvers. What the heck was she thinking, cutting those other ones up???ReplyDelete
I've come to the conclusion that Peepers is nuts. Nuttier than a squirrel in an oak tree forest. MOUSES!Delete
dood......we haza fix for that....call de local offize suppliez place & tell em da tabbies sent ya....well, knot reel lee, but tell em yur MOOVIN and ya knead sum oh ther shippin boxez N can they pleez dee liver strait up ta yur houz N ewe will give em a cash tip :)....bet cha end up with like 104 !!! :) ☺☺♥♥♥♥Delete
Oohhh... I must do that, FOR SURE! Peepers has some money 'round here. Cash money, I mean. I'll use that for the tip. THANK YOU! purrsDelete
We have that routine here too Seville but only after cat consultation that we are truly finished with them. We, in fact, demanded keeping on large box we all lay in and it has been here for some time. Purrs buddyReplyDelete
We are almost speechless with SHOCK, Seville! It's lucky you warned us to sit down before telling us this news! We almost fainted. Chopping up BOXES!? Why, that's practically a Crime Against Humanity - er, Felinity!!!ReplyDelete
And just a few days before International Box Day too! The Horrors!ReplyDelete
Seville, you aren't alone when it comes to CUBM - that's Cutting Up Box Mania. Several times a week we watch many purrfectly great boxes get sent to the trash, all because *makes paw quotes* we don't have the room to keep them all. What the Friskies?!? We have a garage, and closets, and a whole extra bathroom that nobuddy ever uses. There's room under the dining table, and more room in that huge water bowl in the bathroom. And more room in the space between the couch and the teevee. But no, the boxes have to be sacrificed because my humons like to see nekked spaces. So ridiculous. Sorry, Siv. Looks like we are destined to remain deprived. Love, Herman and DoriReplyDelete
I am glad she saved you some to celebrate International Box Day on Saturday. XoReplyDelete
RCMP ought to have been called in on this one Seville. Seriously, Peepers had no right to go and hack up your precious boxes no matter what size they are. Sheesh!ReplyDelete