Fifty... What is it now? Eight? Yeah, fifty-eight. Yup, that's what it is.
So fifty-eight times seven... Multiply that by twenty-four... Carry the nine...
Three hundred and fifteen million, seven hundred and five thousand, six hundred cat seconds.
BREAKING NEWS... WE INTERRUPT THIS PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED FUNNY AND LIGHT-HEARTED BLOG POST FOR...
A RIGHT TELLIN' OFF.
By Seville the Cat.
Okay peeps of Nova Scotia, ARE YOU LISTENIN'? I, Seville the Cat, am fed up with havin' my two useless, good-for-nothin'-but-openin'-tins peeps on my paws for the past three hundred and fifteen million, seven hundred and five thousand, six hundred cat seconds. I, Seville the Cat, am sick and tired of havin' them home all day, every day, in my way every time I turn around. I, Seville the Cat, am tired of hearin' Peepers' claws-on-the-blackboard voice all the time, on account of her havin' no one to talk to but me when I'm tryin' to nap or work or do whatever I wanna do without bein' pestered by a peep.
I'M SICK OF IT, YOU HEAR?
As a Nova Scotian kitty, I've had it somewhat easy - relatively speakin' - these past fifty-eight weeks. Oh sure, the peeps have been on my paws WAY TOO MUCH. but they could still go safely to the store to get the necessities needed to continue providin' me with the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed. But now...
NOW, NOVA SCOTIA HAS ENTERED THIS OL' PANDEMIC'S THIRD WAVE.
And it's as scary as all get out 'cause let me tell you somethin': I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF HAVIN' THESE PEEPS ON MY PAWS EVERY DAY, ALL DAY LONG!
And do you know WHY my fair province has entered the third wave? DO you?
Well I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why, for sure.
BAD peeps. Peeps who don't follow Public Health protocols and stuff. Peeps who don't listen to what the doctors say. Peeps who flout Public Health rules. PEEPS!
And even if it's just a few peeps, THERE'S NO WAY THEIR BAD BEHAVIOUR ISN'T GONNA AFFECT US ALL.
And by that I mean, ME.
I remember way back when, when SOME KITTY - not sayin' who - peed in the livin' room. You remember that? I'm sure I blogged 'bout it when it happened. Well even if I didn't, the thing is, ONE kitty peed in livin' room, and it resulted in...
ALL FOUR OF US GETTIN' LOCKED OUT!
Out of the livin' room, that is.
And I remember when SOME KITTY - not sayin' who - played bowlin' with Peepers' plant pots in the sunroom. You remember that? I'm sure I blogged 'bout it back then, but even if I didn't, the thing is, ONE kitty knocked all the plant pots down (My gosh that was fun.) and it resulted in...
ALL OF US KITTIES GETTIN' LOCKED OUT!
Out of the sunroom, that is.
YOU SEE THE PATTERN FORMIN' HERE?
No? Okay, let me give you another example. I remember when SOME KITTY - not sayin' who - didn't come in when Peepers called us in one night, forcin' Peepers to aimlessly wander around in the neighbourhood in her nightie with a flashlight. You remember that? I'm sure I blogged 'bout it back then, but even if I didn't, the thing is, ONE kitty ignored curfew and it resulted in...
ALL OF US KITTIES HAVIN' TO STAY IN THE HOUSE AFTER SUPPERTIME!
NOW you must be seein' the pattern, for sure.
ONE PEEP BEHAVES BADLY AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW.... ALL PEEPS END UP BEIN' PUNISHED FOR THE BAD BEHAVIOUR OF THE ONE, AND...
AND I, SEVILLE THE CAT, GET PUNISHED THE MOST 'CAUSE I'M STUCK HOME WITH THE TWO MOST OBNOXIOUS, CAT-CUDDLIN' AND KISSIN', CAT-PESTERIN' PEEPS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!
So please... PLEASE.... Please do me a favour and follow all Public Health protocols. I can't take much more of this, my friends. I NEED this pandemic to end. And the sooner we all do what's right, the sooner it will.
End, that is.
Remember to mask up, too.