Maybe it's outta gas?
Nope, plenty of that, you say, huh?
So you've got gas, but have nowhere to go.
No, that can't be right, either. I. Need. Noms. HEAR THAT, PEEPERS? You have someplace to go on account of my needin' my noms. You need to go to the grocery store.
So you've got somewhere to go AND you've got gas, but...
But maybe you have no milk! You've got no milk there, Peepers. That's gotta be it, for sure.
Wait a minute, why would you need milk to power up... I mean, if I were lactose intolerant - WHICH I'M NOT - I could imbibe in some nice creamy milk and fart my way to the grocery store, lickety split, but...
But I think what you're actually in need of is juice.
But lack of noms or not, I'M NOT DRINKIN' NO DIRTY JUICE.
I, Seville the Cat, am a cat, you see - DUH - and cats don't drink juice. Cats don't even LIKE juice. Unless it's catnip juice, of course. I would like catnip juice, for sure. But why the heck does Peepers need juice to go to the grocery store?
Oh yeah, she needs juice to power up the battery that starts up the car.
Well that's what happens when you live in a country like Canada, Peepers. Weather gets cold. Roads get icy and covered in snow. Then you don't go out on those roads on account of the ice and the snow, so you don't start up the car. And did I mention how it was cold? Well when you don't start up the car for several days in the cold...
Car batteries? They go dead.
Honestly, Peepers, you SHOULD have been able to foresee this.
You think maybe the cold killed a few of your brain cells, as well as that there battery, Peepers? Maybe even MORE than a few? Peepers, you should be careful 'bout stuff like that, 'cause I'm not sure you've got the extra brain cells to spare, and...
WHY ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT ME LIKE THAT?
Peepers, if you wanna be mad at somebody, try bein' made at that ol' Shubinackedy Sam. Remember a couple weeks back when he said spring was gonna come early this year?
WELL OBVIOUSLY, HE LIED.
You know, if you weren't a stupid vegetable, Peepers...
FINE, if you weren't a stupid VEGETARIAN, Peepers, I'd suggest you cook up a big ol' pot of groundhog stew.
Remember to mask up, too.
dood...we iz crackin up at thiz:ReplyDelete
~~~ fart my way to the grocery store !!!!! ☺☺☺♥♥♥
hope peeperz get de bat tree fixed pron toe !!!
Ugh, nothing worse than a dead battery!ReplyDelete
And years ago, Seville, I used to purchase a Farmer's Almanac every year, and slavishly followed their weather predictions.
Until, one time, they predicted a MILD winter, and we have polar vortex after polar vortex.
I decreed that no Farmer's Almanac would ever cross my threshold again, and have prepared for each winter as if it were going to be the coldest and snowiest EVER.
All on account of The PO'M, you know...
Peeps really don't like that dead battery thing Seville!ReplyDelete
My human goes out JUST enough to keep her car battery from dying. Fortunately.ReplyDelete
That groundhog's telling fibs again, eh Sivvers? MOUSES! We hope Peepers gets some juice for her car battery.ReplyDelete
Good idea to start up the car daily. :)ReplyDelete
Goodness Seville that was quite the dress down but if that bat needs that then keep with the chat.ReplyDelete
Purrsonally I think Phil was drunk this year, and nearsighted, and and and... he forgot his glasses so he couldn't see that it was very cloudy that day and therefore no shadow. Honestly, I hate them groundy hogs.ReplyDelete