Wednesday 27 January 2021

whatcha gonna do?

 


Whatcha gonna do, Peepers.  WHATCHA GONNA DO?


You know, peeps do a lot of stupid stuff.  When it comes to doin' stupid stuff, peeps are professional stupid stuffers, for sure.


MOUSES!


But instead of ownin' their stupid stuff...


THEY ALWAYS BLAME SOMEONE ELSE.


MOUSES!


Now before I go any further, I should clarify 'bout peeps' lack of ownership of stupid stuff.  When I say peeps refuse to accept ownership of their stupid stuff, I'm talking 'bout the stupid stuff they DO.  Peeps are more than willin' to accept ownership of the stupid stuff they own, you see.  They have no probs acceptin' that, at all.


Case in point: Peepers has an ENTIRE DRAWER FULL of hair scrunchies.


MOUSES!


But back to the original topic at paw:  PEEPS DO STUPID STUFF ALL THE TIME, BUT PEEPS NEVER ADMIT TO DOIN' THE STUPID STUFF THEY DO.


They blame others for their horrendous stupidity, you see.


MOUSES!


And who might those others be?


Well...


Well they usually START by blamin' other peeps.  Any ol' peep will do.  Family, friends, neighbours...   The guy they saw drive by the house one night....  Some person who stood behind 'em in line at the grocery store...  Family members they don't wanna admit are actually members of their family, at all...


Those kinda peeps.


Eventually, however, their list of peeps to blame runs dry.


And then...


AND THEN...


And THEN, my friends, they try to blame the cat.


MOUSES!


Now when I say try, I do mean TRY, 'cause quite frankly, peeps aren't all that good at blamin' us cats.


Bless their little peep hearts.


I mean, we cats are smart.  We're way too smart to allow ourselves to take the blame for stupid peep stuff.


Why, we cats...


WE CATS...


WE CATS MAKE SURE WE HAVE ALIBIS!


Especially when we actually might HAVE done somethin' that needs one.


MOUSES!


Our innate ability to conjure up an alibi on the tip of whisker, comes in handy when defendin' ourselves after gettin' into mischief, you see.


NOT THAT I, SEVILLE THE CAT, HAVE EVER DONE ANYTHIN' LIKE THAT.


Gettin' into mischief, I mean.


Well not often, at least.


And NEVER unless I've actually been caught.


MOUSES!


The thing is - and this is my actual point, you see - peeps shouldn't be tryin' to blame us cats for messes made in the kitchen when no kitty was present at the time to make said mess.


I WAS ASLEEP ON THE CHAIR! is as good an alibi as you'll get.


Seriously, I've even heard it used in court.


Okay, so I heard it used in a courtroom while I was dreamin', but nevertheless....


Nevertheless, IF I SAY I was asleep on the chair, I WAS ASLEEP ON THE CHAIR.  Okay?


And if you're lookin' for witnesses, don't look at me.  I was asleep, remember?  HOW AM I to know who was watchin' me sleep?  Huh?  HUH?


Yeah.


That's right.


'Nough said.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.


13 comments:

  1. I say not guilty by reason of sanity!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOVE THAT! Yup, I'm NOT guilty of SANITY, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Yup, yup.... I do, don't I. Not a question; statement of fact. MOUSES!

      Delete
  3. I know! Why are kitties such easy marks for blame?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's peeps for you, that is. ALWAYS TRYIN' TO BLAME SOMEONE ELSE. MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. Your alibi works for us, Sivvers. And who's going to believe a peeper with a drawer full of hair scrunchies over you, anyway???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, right? RIGHT? Havin' a drawer full of hair scrunchies makes her judgement questionable, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. Very good argument about the chair. It Proves you were asleep in the chair when you have No Idea about Who could be watching you Sleep in the chair as you are asleep! They need to wake up so they can see you asleep!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's true! The very fact that I don't know who was watchin' me while I slept PROVES I was fast asleep, thereby provin' my alibi. MOUSES!

      Delete
  6. Maybe you were only on TOP of mischief, or near it...but you didn't get INTO it, Seville!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your peeps should know that the cat is always innocent. XO

    ReplyDelete
  8. Us cats NEVER< EVER do bad stuff...we always blame it on the dog! Have a marvellously Happy Day!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.