five nanoseconds

The sun is shinin' and the birds are singin' and boy-oh-boy...

WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY.

Butt...

I mean, but...

But accordin' to an article I read a couple days ago, due to the Earth spinnin' on its axis faster than ever before, this glorious day that is today, is gonna be 'bout five nanoseconds shorter than this day was, last year.

MOUSES!

YOU KNOW HOW LONG A NANOSECOND IS?

Yeah, neither do I, but I'm thinkin' I might have to manage my time better from now on, if we're gonna be missin' five of 'em every day from this day forward.

MOUSES!

I thought about cuttin' my daily nappin' time short by five nanoseconds in order to make up the difference, but...

BUT I DON'T NAP NEARLY AS MUCH AS I SHOULD AS IT IS!

So obviously I can't do that.

MOUSES!

Then I thought about cuttin' my daily snackin' time short by five nanoseconds in order to make up the difference, but...

BUT CUTTIN' INTO SNACK TIME IS NOTHIN' SHORT OF SACRILEGE.

So I'm not gonna be doin' that, either.

What to do, what to do...  What has gotta go?  How on earth am I gonna make missin' these five nanoseconds as painless as can possibly be?  WHAT IS A KITTY TO DO?

So then I thought...

THEN I THOUGHT...

Then I thought, why should I have to do anythin' at all?  Why don't I just delegate dealin' with these missin' nanoseconds to the peep?  Why don't I make HER responsible for fixin' this mess?

WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA.

So I have informed the peep that once a day, every day, she must blather on about that stupid, useless stuff she forces me to listen to, simply because she insists on blatherin' in my presence, for FIVE NANOSECONDS LESS.

There.

Sorted.

FIXED.

Good thing my mind is as sharp as it ever has been.

MOUSES!

And if Peepers can't commit to cuttin' five nanoseconds out of her blatherin', I'll just have to leave the room five nanoseconds earlier once she gets started.  It's not like I don't do that, anyway.  Leave the room, I mean.  'Cause why should I be forced to listen to a blatherin' peep?

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.