Wednesday 20 January 2021

five nanoseconds


The sun is shinin' and the birds are singin' and boy-oh-boy...


WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY.


Butt...


I mean, but...


But accordin' to an article I read a couple days ago, due to the Earth spinnin' on its axis faster than ever before, this glorious day that is today, is gonna be 'bout five nanoseconds shorter than this day was, last year.


MOUSES!


YOU KNOW HOW LONG A NANOSECOND IS?


Yeah, neither do I, but I'm thinkin' I might have to manage my time better from now on, if we're gonna be missin' five of 'em every day from this day forward.


MOUSES!


I thought about cuttin' my daily nappin' time short by five nanoseconds in order to make up the difference, but...


BUT I DON'T NAP NEARLY AS MUCH AS I SHOULD AS IT IS!


So obviously I can't do that.


MOUSES!


Then I thought about cuttin' my daily snackin' time short by five nanoseconds in order to make up the difference, but...


BUT CUTTIN' INTO SNACK TIME IS NOTHIN' SHORT OF SACRILEGE.


So I'm not gonna be doin' that, either.


What to do, what to do...  What has gotta go?  How on earth am I gonna make missin' these five nanoseconds as painless as can possibly be?  WHAT IS A KITTY TO DO?


So then I thought...


THEN I THOUGHT...


Then I thought, why should I have to do anythin' at all?  Why don't I just delegate dealin' with these missin' nanoseconds to the peep?  Why don't I make HER responsible for fixin' this mess?


WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA.


So I have informed the peep that once a day, every day, she must blather on about that stupid, useless stuff she forces me to listen to, simply because she insists on blatherin' in my presence, for FIVE NANOSECONDS LESS.


There.


Sorted.


FIXED.


Good thing my mind is as sharp as it ever has been.


MOUSES!


And if Peepers can't commit to cuttin' five nanoseconds out of her blatherin', I'll just have to leave the room five nanoseconds earlier once she gets started.  It's not like I don't do that, anyway.  Leave the room, I mean.  'Cause why should I be forced to listen to a blatherin' peep?


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.


9 comments:

  1. I guess I need to hold on when laying down for my nap, that spinning seems scary!

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  2. 5 nanoseconds! Does that mean that I will live longer and retire sooner!?!?! Oh My Cod! Have a marvellously Happy Day!

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  3. Why not turn it into a positive - humans should take that lost time and add it to the time they spend with their cats. Just saying.

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  4. We suppose you could apply those five nanoseconds to whatever YOU choose, Sivvers.

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  5. It occurs to Us that if effurry day is going to be five nano-seconds shorter than the same day last year, than Our next Birthdays will be coming sooner than We thought - and with them, all the Attendant Treats!
    See! Effurry Cloud has a Silfurr Lining!

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  6. oh em cod dood...thanx for de warnin....we agreez....we had better start dee sidin how to al oh cate that lost time...food, snax, sleepin...YEOWZERZ !!!!!! :) ♥♥

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  7. I had not heard about that- I am glad it won't come out of your nap time.

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  8. Seville I was going to really leave a long comment but those five nanoseconds messed me up, Goodness!

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  9. Seville my man, you have the exact take on it about those missin' nanaseconds! No cat outta have to deal with this stuff. It's all the peeps doin', right?

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