That's so totally and utterly DISGUSTIN'.
PEEPERS, GO TAKE A SHOWER, WILL YA? YOU'RE COVERED FROM HEAD TO PAW IN DIRT.
And how many times have you asked me, "Did you have to roll around in the dirt, Seville?" Huh? HUH? HOW MANY TIMES?
And how many times did I answer, "Of course," but that's besides the point 'cause we're talking 'bout you here, and not me.
And did you, Peepers? DID YOU? Did you go outside and roll around in the dirt? Did you roll this way, then that way, then smush your tush back and forth 'til all the sand and mud and dirt was imbedded in your furs? Then once all that dirt was imbedded, did you smush your tush some more? DID YOU? 'Cause let me tell you somethin', ol' peep of mine...
YOU SURE DO LOOK LIKE YOU DID.
I know you've been stayin' home as much as possible durin' the last one hundred and ninety-five million, nine hundred and fifty-five thousand, two hundred cat seconds due to this pandemic thing, but...
BUT YOUR STAYIN' HOME ALL THE TIME IS A WHOLE LOT HARDER ON ME THAN YOU, and you don't see ME out there rollin' around in the dirt, DO you.
Okay, so maybe you do, but I'm a cat, and cats do that sorta thing but you, my dear Peepers, are merely a peep.
So next time...
Next time you go out to rake leaves and garden and stuff, DON'T MAKE LIKE A CAT AND ROLL AROUND IN THE DIRT only to come back in the house as filthy as filthy can be.
And in the meantime...
KEEP YOUR GRUBBY OL' PAWS AWAY FROM ME. Social distancin' IS a thing, you know.
Nothin' worse than gettin' covered in peep-used, second paw dirt, you see.
Remember to mask up, too.