Sunday 6 September 2020

twenty-five weeks

You take me for granted, Peepers.  YOU TAKE ME FOR GRANTED!

Don't think I don't know 'bout it bein' Ginger Cat Appreciation Day last week.  DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW!

And FYI, Peepers: I, Seville the Cat, AM A GINGER.

MOUSES!

But did we celebrate?  Did you throw me a party?  Did you make me a cake?

DID YOU BUY ME MORE NIP?  HUH?  HUH?  HUH?  DID YOU?

No, you did not a thing.

MOUSES!

Stupid peep.

MOUSES!

Oh sure, you did set up that big gigantic ENORMOUS litter box, outside.

BUT THEN YOU COMPLAINED WHEN I USED IT!

Again, stupid peep.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

LIKE I TOLD YOU ON WEDNESDAY: IF IT LOOKS LIKE A LITTER BOX AND WORKS LIKE A LITTER BOX, IT IS A LITTER BOX, PEEPERS.  And I don't wanna hear nothing 'bout no stupid raised beds for veggies ever again.

MOUSES!

You know, when a kitty finds out there's a special day set aside especially for himself and other marmalade kitties like him, a kitty should be able to expect his peeps will throw him a party.

The LEAST you could have done was salmon mousse cupcakes with catnip cream cheese icing.

BUT DID I GET ANY OF THAT?

No.  Nadda.  Not a thing.

All I got was cheek.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of cheek...

IT'S SUPER CHEEKY OF PEEPS TO THINK THERE SHOULD BE CELEBRATIONS FOR THEM, WHEN NONE OF 'EM ARE DOIN' ANYTHIN' TO CELEBRATE ME.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

What do you MEAN "EVERY DAY" is a day where you celebrate me?  What do you MEAN?

Seriously, Peepers, what DO you mean?  'Cause I'm not seein' it, here.

I WANT A PARTY!

A big party.  A big party 'specially for me.  A party with all the cats in the neighbourhood, and...

Scratch that.  I don't really like the other cats in the neighbourhood.

Hmmm...

Okay, how 'bout this?  Peppers, you bake me a cake filled with yummy stuff like tuna and catnip and things, then pile on the prezzies - FYI, I like nipmice - and then...

Then...

Then take out a full page ad in the paper 'bout how wonderful I am, and how stupid you are for makin' me miss out on Ginger Cat Appreciation Day, and...

I'M NOT DONE YET.

Don't interrupt or I'll have to start all over again.

And in that ad, Peepers, you can explain how I've been cooped up in this here house with you two peeps for one hundred and thirty-six million, eighty thousand seconds in cat time, and how I must be like some kinda extra-special SAINT havin' put up with you for so long, and...

AND HOW I'M WILLIN' TO ACCEPT DONATIONS OF CATNIP.

You know, if anyone has any lyin' around.

Got that, Peepers?  HUH?

Good.

MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

17 comments:

  1. Poor you Seville, you really do have it rough pal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know. I KNOW! What can I do about this? What do you think? Upgrade my peeps? purrs

      Delete
  2. You totally deserve a party, Seville.

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    Replies
    1. I do, don't I. Not a question. Statement of fact. PURRS

      Delete
  3. We would totally give you some catnip if we had some, Sivvers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have no nip? None at all? Oh my friends... Now that I'm a gentlecat nip farmer, I could probably get you some. PURRS

      Delete
  4. Oooh, that long, my, how the months weeks hours, minutes, seconds nano seconds tiny teeny nano bites of seconds fly! Yikes, Mrs H said I missed days out of that there ist. OK, im not so sure about days flying but I'll let her off being aged and locked up with me, MOL
    Have a great Non-banquest celebration of you-ness!
    Purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, I can remember pre-covid March like it was only a millennium ago. MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. Gosh, Seville...we celebrated Ginger Cat Appreciation Day...and there are NO gingers (at the moment...) at Eastside Cats!
    Then again, felines really don't care about human holidays; they are really beneath you, aren't they?

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    Replies
    1. You... And there... Not one? And yet you still...

      Awww..... MOUSES!

      Delete
  6. I can't believe they forgot Ginger Cat Appreciation Day!! They owe you more than some nip. XO

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    Replies
    1. I think they forgot on purpose. My peeps can be stupid like that. MOUSES!

      Delete
  7. Seville we of the Ginger Purrsuasion sure do seem to have it extra tough. We are sensitive is why

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    Replies
    1. We ARE sensitive. We're incredibly sensitive. Peeps should recognise that and give us extra treats. MOUSES!

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  8. Hey, Sev...there was no pawty thrown here either. Me and da AssRabbit have ginger, but the one who really got gypped was Opie who is all ginger. Mom says we are appreciated every day. But really, would an occasional pawty kill her budget? I think not!

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    Replies
    1. I KNOW! And you what Peepers did on Tuesday? SHE TOOK ME TO THE DOCTOR. They STOLE my bloods an' did a full workup, and stuck a thermometer up my you-know-what, AND Peepers PAID for my torture. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? You know how much FF and treats she could have bought with that? MOUSES!

      Delete
  9. Severs, tell your peep that she should throw you a "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow Party" to make up for not celebrating you on Ginger Cat Day. Purrs.

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.