Don't think I don't know 'bout it bein' Ginger Cat Appreciation Day last week. DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW!
And FYI, Peepers: I, Seville the Cat, AM A GINGER.
But did we celebrate? Did you throw me a party? Did you make me a cake?
DID YOU BUY ME MORE NIP? HUH? HUH? HUH? DID YOU?
No, you did not a thing.
Oh sure, you did set up that big gigantic ENORMOUS litter box, outside.
BUT THEN YOU COMPLAINED WHEN I USED IT!
Again, stupid peep.
What? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
LIKE I TOLD YOU ON WEDNESDAY: IF IT LOOKS LIKE A LITTER BOX AND WORKS LIKE A LITTER BOX, IT IS A LITTER BOX, PEEPERS. And I don't wanna hear nothing 'bout no stupid raised beds for veggies ever again.
You know, when a kitty finds out there's a special day set aside especially for himself and other marmalade kitties like him, a kitty should be able to expect his peeps will throw him a party.
The LEAST you could have done was salmon mousse cupcakes with catnip cream cheese icing.
BUT DID I GET ANY OF THAT?
No. Nadda. Not a thing.
All I got was cheek.
And speakin' of cheek...
IT'S SUPER CHEEKY OF PEEPS TO THINK THERE SHOULD BE CELEBRATIONS FOR THEM, WHEN NONE OF 'EM ARE DOIN' ANYTHIN' TO CELEBRATE ME.
What? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?
What do you MEAN "EVERY DAY" is a day where you celebrate me? What do you MEAN?
Seriously, Peepers, what DO you mean? 'Cause I'm not seein' it, here.
I WANT A PARTY!
A big party. A big party 'specially for me. A party with all the cats in the neighbourhood, and...
Scratch that. I don't really like the other cats in the neighbourhood.
Okay, how 'bout this? Peppers, you bake me a cake filled with yummy stuff like tuna and catnip and things, then pile on the prezzies - FYI, I like nipmice - and then...
Then take out a full page ad in the paper 'bout how wonderful I am, and how stupid you are for makin' me miss out on Ginger Cat Appreciation Day, and...
I'M NOT DONE YET.
Don't interrupt or I'll have to start all over again.
And in that ad, Peepers, you can explain how I've been cooped up in this here house with you two peeps for one hundred and thirty-six million, eighty thousand seconds in cat time, and how I must be like some kinda extra-special SAINT havin' put up with you for so long, and...
AND HOW I'M WILLIN' TO ACCEPT DONATIONS OF CATNIP.
You know, if anyone has any lyin' around.
Got that, Peepers? HUH?
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.
Remember to mask up, too.
Remember to mask up, too.