Oh, YOU WHO...
HEY YOU! YOU!!! Yeah, you, Peepers. YOU! Quit what you're doin' there, and look over here. Look over here, at me. I'm talkin' to you.
Sometimes the soft gentle mewings of a gentlecat won't do, you see, and YOU'VE GOTTA HOLLER to get their attention.
What can I say? Peeps. Peeps'll be peeps.
Hey Peepers! OVER HERE.
So Peepers, I was thinkin' the other day. I was outside in the garden and I was thinkin'. I was thinking 'bout how I couldn't help but notice that nice new litter box you set up for me out there.
What do you MEAN, what litter box? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
You know the one, Peepers. It's about yea high and yea wide...
Oh, sorry. Yeah, I know, my front legs aren't really long enough to give you an accurate description along with the yeas.
Okay, so it's about four by eight paws, and comes up to my shoulders. You know the one?
Yeah, I WAS WONDERIN' about that. I was wonderin' why it was filled with dirt and stuff and not litter. But I figured you ran out of litter or somethin'. After all, it is a pretty big box. Fillin' it would use up a lot of litter. OR MAYBE, you wanted to give me the full outdoor experience. When it comes to dirt and kitty litter, dirt is the more NATURAL of the two.
But anyway, Peepers, that stuff doesn't matter. I just wanted to thank you for the new outdoor litter box, and let you know how much I appreciate the effort you put in, and...
What do you MEAN that there litter box isn't a litter box? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Nope, I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that, Peepers. It works just like a litter box. Just like a litter box should.
I know, 'cause I tried it out and everythin'.
Peepers, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck, right? AM I RIGHT?
Well if it looks like a litter box, works like a litter box, and smells like a litter box, it probably IS a litter box, and...
IT IS TOO.
Okay, if you're so sure that there litter box is actually a raised bed for you to plant stupid lettuce and spinach and mustard and stuff, let me ask you this:
HOW COME THERE'S NO STUPID GREEN VEGGIES PLANTED IN THERE AND ALL THERE IS IS LITTER?
Well dirt, actually, but the fact is, there are no stupid green veggies in there. Just dirt and...
Two lots, in fact.
Like I said, IT'S A GREAT litter box. Nice and roomy and everythin'. Roomiest litter box I ever did use.
But as there are now TWO lots of poopies in there, you might wanna get the scoop from the little boys' box next to the powder room, and go scoop out my new and improved OUTDOOR litter box.
Don't want it gettin' TOO stinky, you see.
AND WHILE YOU'RE OUT THERE, YOU WANNA PUT UP A SCREEN OR SOMETHIN' SO THE NEIGHBOURS CAN'T SEE ME USIN' MY NEW BOX?
Nosy neighbours. Can't a kitty have a little privacy 'round here?
It's not like I was usin' THEIR outdoor litter boxes to do my business.
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.
Remember to MASK UP, too.
Remember to MASK UP, too.