I'z so conflicted!
I'Z SO CONFLICTED!
Hold on there, Peepers. Don't you go closin' that door just yet.
I'M STILL CONFLICTED.
What to do, what to do... What on Earth is a kitty to do?
Do I go outside? The ground looks kinda wet. I'm pretty sure it's been rainin'.
BUT THE BREEZE FEELS SO NICE ON MY FURS.
Hmmm.... I could just sit here by the back door, I suppose. You know, sit here with the door wide open. I could just sit here for a while enjoyin' the lovely breeze while stayin' indoors, out of the drizzle and rain.
But what if that breeze were to get stronger and slam the door shut? What if it slammed the door shut while I was sittin' here, and...
Oh, that's too horrible to even think about.
But you know... What good is havin' a peep, if you can't make use of 'em, right? AM I RIGHT? Right.
Peepers, you don't mind standin' there by this here back door, holdin' onto it to make sure it doesn't slam shut on me while I sit here enjoyin' the fresh air, do you?
Of course you don't.
What do you MEAN you do mind? Have you forgotten you're nothin' more than a lowly peep?
Besides, it's not like I'm gonna be here for long. An hour or two, tops. Well... Well maybe three. I might feel like takin' a short nap, and...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT WILLIN' TO STAND THERE HOLDIN' ONTO THE DOOR FOR ME ALL AFTERNOON?
Of all the no good for nothin' peeps.
Okay, how 'bout this, then? How 'bout you SIT there by the door, holdin' onto it so that it doesn't slam shut on me while I'm sittin' here...
Well you can go get yourself a CHAIR, woman! I didn't say you had to sit on the floor.
Although truth be told, if the floor is good enough for me...
Why are you countin', Peepers? Why have you started countin'?
YOU'RE WHAT? You're countin' to three, and by the time you get to three the door is gonna be shut one way or the other, so I have to decide on which side of the door I wanna be?
BUT I CAN'T GO OUTSIDE. IT COULD RAIN ON ME!
You know I'm not partial to that.
No, I can't stay inside, either. I'm enjoyin' the fresh air, and...
You... You... You...
YOU CLOSED THE BACK DOOR ON ME.
Well that's that, then, I guess. But just so you know, Peepers, I'M STILL CONFLICTED. Oh sure, I may no longer be conflicted 'bout whether I should go outside or stay in. Hard to be conflicted 'bout that since you went and made my decision for me, but...
BUT I'M STILL CONFLICTED, PEEPERS. I'm still conflicted, for sure. I'm just conflicted 'bout other stuff, is all.
What to do, what to do...
Should I teach Peepers a lesson by peein' on her sweater? Or should I perhaps poop in her shoe? Or maybe I should just throw up on the floor next to her bed. Right where she puts her feet in the mornin' when gettin' up. That's the best place for tossin' one's cookies, for sure.
So many decisions for a kitty to make.
WHAT IS A KITTY TO DO?
Remember to mask up, too.