Wednesday, 24 June 2020

rules?

Rules?  Rules, Peepers?  I don't have to pay attention to your stupid rules.

Rules are for commoners, Peepers, and that's not me.  I ain't no commoner, to be sure.  I'M SEVILLE.  I am SEVILLE THE CAT!

I AM KING.

MOUSES!

"So now you think you're a king?"

Don't be so silly, Peepers.  I don't think I'm a king.  I KNOW I'm a king, for sure.  KING SEVILLE THE CAT.

The first.

I think.

MOUSES!

Don't give me that look, there, Peepers.  You know the one.  That questionable look of yours like you're thinkin' I'm talkin' nonsense or somethin' like that.

I, Seville the Cat, AM A KING.

Ever heard the expression, King of the forest?

Well that would be me.

MOUSES!

"Seville, the lion is the king of the forest.  You're...  You're a cat."

And LIONS are cats!  Big cats.  Kings of the forest kinda cats.  Cats.

"But..."

But schmutt, Peepers.  You ever happen to notice the colour of my beautiful ginger furs?  That's lion colour, that is.

MOUSES!

"But.."

Stop interruptin'.

If a lion is a cat, a cat is a king.

Or somethin' like that.

Bottom line is, I, Seville the Cat, am in charge here.  I'm the one decidin' who does what, when, and where.  I'M the one makin' the rules.

And I ain't makin' no rules 'bout cats havin' to stay in after supper.

MOUSES!

"But..."

 I thought I told you to not interrupt.

But if you've got your heart set on rules, I'LL give you some rules.  As a matter of fact, we could do with some more rules 'round here.

Well better rules, actually.  Yeah, not necessarily more, but the ones we already have can certainly be improved.

You know the kinda things I mean, right Peepers?  Like rules 'bout not touchin' me when I don't wanna be touched, and feedin' me exactly what I want, when I want it, and...

Oh!  And how 'bout a rule 'bout my gettin' first dibs on the family room chesterfield?  And if there isn't enough space for your sorry a...   I mean, derrier, well...

Well you can sit on the floor, that's what.

MOUSES!

And I should be given my brekkies first, BEFORE you make tea.  And my supper should be served before you even start makin' yours.  And snacks...  Well snacks should be available on demand, and..

I KNOW!

I NEED A BELL.

Yes, rule number one should be that I, King Seville the Cat, must be provided with a bell.  One of those hotel lobby kinda bells so that I can ring for you when I'm feelin' peckish or need you to scratch an itch for me on the back of my neck where I can't reach, or...

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, PEEPERS?

What did I tell you 'bout givin' me that look?

MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!



8 comments:

  1. If it makes you feel any better, Seville...we think of you as King!

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  2. You're right Seville, Kings make the rules!

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  3. dood....we due knot think peeperz iz listenin...ya mite knead mor drastic measurez...knot sure a bell iz gonna werk buddy :) ♥♥

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  4. Yes, Sivvers. All cats are royalty, and should be treated as such!

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  5. I have a bell - I get treats every time I ring it!

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  6. How could anyone look at your aristoCATic purr-file and fail to realise, instantly, that you are a King?

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  7. Rules, schmules, we feel for you, Seville. We suffer the same indignities around here. Put your paw down for all catdom.

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  8. We don't like rules around here, either. For me, rules go in one ear and out the other and that's quite a feat since my ears are together on top of my head! - Tom xxx

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.