IS... Oh for mousin' out loud, Peepers. Don't be such a peep.
I mean, stupid. Don't be so stupid, Peepers. Don't be...
Meh. Peep.. Stupid... Whatever.
And as I was sayin', Peepers, there's a sink hole in the front yard. AND YOU'D BE BEST to be wary 'bout that hole like a sink, 'cause if you're wanderin' about out there, it might just open up and swallow you whole.
"Seville, there is no sink hole in the front yard."
Before you say another word, Peepers, let me explain somethin' to you. There's a hole. And it's in the front yard. Therefore, ergo, ipso facto defuncto...
"Seville, what does that even mean?"
Never you mind what it means, Peepers. I mean, it means... Well it means I'm right. That's all you need to know.
And it also means, we have a sink hole in the front yard.
"Seville, I will admit there is a mysterious little hole in the lawn, a few inches deep."
LITTLE MY TAIL, PEEPERS! That hole might just go up to your knee - maybe not even that high - but let me tell you somethin': if I, Seville the Cat, were to fall in that hole, IT WOULD SWALLOW ME RIGHT UP! IT WOULD SWALLOW ME WHOLE!
"It's only a few inches wide."
A few inches might be small to you, Peepers, what with your big flat feet and all, but my delicate, graceful paws aren't even a quarter its size.
"Delicate, graceful paws, huh?"
YEAH, DELICATE. GRACEFUL.. THAT'S HOW ONE MIGHT DESCRIBE MY PAWS.
"Or might not."
Grrrr... Let me tell you somethin', Peepers, and I suggest you listen real hard. THERE'S A SINK HOLE IN THE FRONT YARD. MOUSES!
"Okay, fine. What do you want me to do about this six inch deep, four inch wide supposed sink hole in the front yard?"
Well I don't rightly know what I want. No, wait. I do. I want you to fill it in with somethin'. I don't really care what. Fill it in with rocks if you so desire. JUST MAKE SURE IT'S GONE BY MORNIN' so I don't accidentally step in it and harm my DELICATE and GRACEFUL paws.
And in case you're all wonderin' there, my pals, we do have a mysterious hole in the front yard. Not quite sure how it got there or how much bigger it'll get. Peepers says it's not gonna get any bigger at all, but me? Well I'm not quite convinced. I'll do my best to keep you updated unless, of course, I am right as usual, and it is an actual sink hole and ends up growing to some ginormous and dangerous size.
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.