That's right, my friends, the peeps and I have been holed up in this here house for thirteen weeks.
Okay, so we're not exactly holed up, which is a good thing if you read my blog post on Wednesday 'bout the MYSTERIOUS HOLE in our front lawn.
The thing is...
The thing is, I have been havin' to spend an inordinately large amount of time with the peeps these past weeks. And thirteen weeks on the calendar is nothin' - NOTHIN', I say! - compared to thirteen weeks in cat time, which is...
Gosh, I'm runnin' out of claws for countin', but...
SEVENTY MILLION, SEVEN HUNDRED AND SIXTY-ONE THOUSAND, SIX HUNDRED SECONDS IN CAT TIME.
Suffice it to say, it's a whole lot of seconds, for sure.
And now that the mathematical portion of this here post is done, it's time to get to the nitty gritty part. The dirt, so to speak. The dirt on the peep.
No, not dirt from the garden.
Although she was out there diggin' in dirt yesterday, and yes, she did come back in rather...
But that dirt aside, the REAL dirt is...
Peepers has been cheatin' on me.
It's true. Yesterday afternoon, I caught Peepers - aka Peep #1 - chattin' up a chippy out front on the driveway.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
That's right, folks, she was out there havin' a conversation with a cheeky chipmunk for at least five minutes.
Who does she think she is; SOME KINDA DISNEY PRINCESS?
And if that wasn't enough, after she spoke to the chippy, she began to converse with a bird.
SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT KINDA BIRD IT WAS.
THE DIRTY WH...
And then, later on, I heard her talkin' to a crow sittin' on a branch overhead. That's right, a CROW!
So the thing is...
The thing is, either Peepers has decided MY company isn't good enough for her anymore, durin' this time of stayin' home and social distancin' and stuff, or...
Or all the extra time alone, all by her lonesome, with only herself for company, has driven her 'round the bend.
You know, that bend in the road. The one where you hang a right and keep on drivin' 'til you come to Wacko Corner, which is 'bout two clicks past Nutty Court, just beyond Oddball and Crazy Squirrel Town Lanes.
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.