No, I CAN pee on that, I think.
NO, I WILL pee on that, for sure.
Actually, I already did.
So the peep was busy plantin' stuff in the garden on Monday, and you know what I did?
That's right, I peed on it.
Okay, so TECHNICALLY I didn't pee on the stuff she planted. From firstpaw experience, I know for a fact that peein' on the peep's plants never goes over well. Peeps frown upon such things, you see.
So upon what did I pee, you ask?
Well for starters, Peepers planted some leeks in a big ol' container out back. I had to investigate what she was doin', on account of the STENCH emanatin' from said planter. FYI, leeks are related to onions and as a cat, I KNOW that onions stink, so therefore...
Therefore, leeks stink, too.
I watched the peep doin' what she was doin', all the while holdin' my breath and pinchin' my nose. Then, after she was done stinkin' up the place, I thought to myself, you know...
You know, I could pee on that planter, for sure.
So I turned my back to the planter, lifted my tail...
"Oh Seville," the peep sighed.
A little while later, Peepers was pottin' up some celery and stuff into separate containers. Now I couldn't quite reach the little pots she was usin', on account of her havin' put 'em out of my reach - I know, the nerve! - but after she was all done, I noticed the pile of bags of potting stuff sittin' next to the garage. Pottin' stuff she had been usin' to pot up those plants I couldn't quite reach, and I thought to myself...
You know, I could pee on those bags, for sure.
So I turned my back to the bags, lifted my tail...
"Oh Seville," the peep again sighed.
And once Peepers was all done doin' all the stuff she had been doin' with the stinky leeks and little pots out of my reach, she went to cover a whole bunch of plants with some fleece. I watched as she carefully draped the fleece over the plants, then secured all the edges with clothes pegs. And I noticed that the fleece was lookin' very spiffy, indeed, which was odd, 'cause only the day before, that very same fleece had quite a bit of dirt on it, several holes ripped right through, and a couple interestin' yellow stains. I asked Peepers 'bout how come it looked so clean and fresh and she said, "This fleece is NEW."
Hmm... I thought 'bout the fleece bein' new and all, and said to myself...
You know, I could pee on that fleece, for sure.
So I turned my back to the fleece, lifted my tail...
Now, on account of my going 'round the garden peein' on stuff, Peepers is Talkin' 'bout Takin' me to see Dr T. Methinks I'm gonna have to curtail my sprayin' of things for a while, for sprayin' on stuff all willy nilly like, gives peeps the wrong impression, you see. Peeps assume there's somethin' medically wrong, when really...
Really, I'm just markin' my TerriToRY.
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.