Six weeks of what, you ask?
Well six weeks of the peeps subjectin' me to their presence every day, all day long.
Six weeks. Forty-two days. One thousand and eight hours. Sixty thousand, four hundred and eighty minutes. THREE MILLION, SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND, EIGHT HUNDRED SECONDS.
THAT'S THIRTY-TWO MILLION, SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY-NINE THOUSAND, TWO HUNDRED SECONDS, IN CAT TIME.
I'm tellin' ya, a kitty could go over the deep end bein' subjected to peeps constantly bein' on paw for this long.
WILL THIS TORTURE NEVER END?
There once was a time long, long ago - in pre-covid days - when a cat could mind his own business in his own house without worryin' where his peeps might be, and if said peeps might be contemplating picking him up or kissing him or just makin' general nuisances of themselves.
There once was a time...
Nowadays, a kitty has to constantly be on the lookout for peeps. Constantly checkin' behind his back, looking furtively around a room when entering, and keepin' one eye open at all times. Even when sleeping!
Last night, I jumped down from the chesterfield THREE times.
Three. Whole. Times.
And, I should add, NOT ONCE did I jump onto the couch. No sirree. Peepers kept pickin' me up to cuddle me and I had to keep jumpin' down.
I'm tellin' ya, Peepers is the VERY DEFINITION of a slow learner.
One day, I'm gonna give her a good paw to the side of her stupid ol' head.
Oh, and get this: We now only go to the grocery store once a week.
Well to be honest, this goin' for groceries only once a week (sometimes less) has been goin' on for the last six weeks, which, of course, is part of the reason I'm havin' to put up with Peepers' presence so much, but...
Now where was I?
Oh yeah, she now ONLY goes shoppin' once a week, no matter what. Which would be okay, I guess, if it didn't mean she was HOME ALL THE TIME.
But this past week, Peepers forgot to get me somethin' I had asked her to get. And when I reminded her 'bout her not gettin' me my grilled salmon along with the salmon pate, she said, "I'm sorry Seville, but I'm not going shopping again until next Tuesday. You'll have to wait until then.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
Well I was one gobsmacked kitty, for sure. In fact, I was SO gobsmacked, I seriously meant to SMACK that peep right across her face.
IF SHE WAS GONNA FORGET SOMETHIN', WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SOMETHIN' OF MINE?
And then she said, "It wasn't on the list."
HAS THE PEEP FORGOTTEN I HAVE PAWS AND CAN'T USE 'EM TO WRITE ON PAPER WITH PENCIL OR PEN?
I'm tellin' ya, Peepers is THE WORST peep I've ever known. THE WORST!
I'd trade her in for a new peep, lickety-split, but...
Well, you know.
Can't go shopping 'til Tuesday, so I can't trade her in 'til then.
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.
Well, I hope the Peep went and put it on the list when you were talking about it. I'm sure she didn't forget her stuff. We all hope this is over soon.ReplyDelete
I'm gonna go check that ol' list of hers right now. MOUSES!Delete
I hope you can read this I seem to have a problem logging into my Blogger account.ReplyDelete
Blogger bein' boogery for you, Summer? I hate it when that happens. MOUSES!Delete
A downright shame, Seville!ReplyDelete
And The Hubby goes shopping every TWO weeks; we are currently out of my raw almond butter, and won't have any more until tomorrow at the earliest! It's just wrong, wrong, wrong!
Two weeks? TWO weeks? Two WHOLE weeks? MOUSES!Delete
OUR Mummy doesn't go out shopping AT ALL! Even before this horrible virus appeared, She used to text her order to her local grocer and he would deliver once a week. And he still does. In addition, She would go to the supermarket maybe once every six weeks. Now, she prefurrs to order online.ReplyDelete
Fortunately, the pet shop where She buys OUR stuff, has continued making deliveries throughout the crisis.
That was so rude of the peep to forget something you wanted.ReplyDelete
Once a week is just too much to take, Seville, especially if the peep has forgotten your food. Maybe, you should whisk back in time and get her to add it to the list twice so she doesnt forget?ReplyDelete
Or do what I do and order emergency food deliveries from Amazonia. Failing that, send up a flare to the Marmalade Cross organization (for marmalade cats in need) and see if they can divert a St Bernard your way ;)