What the mousie mousin' mouses is THIS?
It's the last week of April and we're gettin' SNOW?
I'm tellin' ya, first comes The Plague; then the peeps are home all day, every day; then...
Okay, so the plague bit and the peeps bein' home all the time is kinda related, but still...
But what's NOT related to that there plague is this here snow.
Okay, so technically it's really just MUSHY THICK RAIN, and it's meltin' the moment it hits the ground, but...
But mouses, that's what. MOUSES!
Last week of April, a Nova Scotian kitty like me expects mild breezes and sunpuddles, you know?
Of course you do.
This whole snow... I mean, mushy thick rain business is gettin' on my nerves. It's gettin' on my nerves ALMOST as much as Peepers, but not quite. But that's ONLY 'cause Peepers is REALLY gettin' on my nerves, A LOT. Like really as in... Well... REALLY.
Why just the other day...
Just the other day, Peepers turned the channel on the TV whilst I was watchin' my favourite show: We Heart Animals.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
And WHY IS IT that peeps think their TV watchin' preferences take precedence over OUR TV watchin' preferences? WHY?
It's not like we're watchin' litter box droppings... I mean... No, I mean litter box droppings. You know, litter box droppings like reality TV.
WE CATS are watchin'...
Okay, so We Heart Animals is kinda like reality TV, but way better reality TV than the reality TV nonsense peeps watch. We Heart Animals is the real lives of cats and dogs and an occasional ferret, you see. That's better than peep reality TV, for sure, 'cause, you know... Well... Well peep reality TV is filled with a bunch of uh... Peeps.
And We Heart Animals is way, way, WAY better than the "Steve and Bob Show" Peepers was watchin' after she turned the channel on me which, my friends, was rude as rude can be - the channel changin' bit, I mean, and not the Steve and Bob Show which is NEVER rude - but then peeps do do RUDE so well.
My gosh, that has to be the longest, windiest sentence I have EVER written.
But speakin' of rude...
It was super rude for Peepers to have brushed me off like she did just a few minutes ago. Right before I started writin' this here blog post, she did.
No seriously, it IS super rude to brush me off. Brushin' my fur off her sweater is what I mean, 'cause the thing is, I PUT THAT FUR right there on that sweater as a kinda gift to her, so by brushin' it off like she did, she was bein' rude and ungrateful, amongst other things.
And I was thinkin' of her welfare, really. Really, I was! I mean, with that there mushy thick rain comin' down outside and a complete lack of sunpuddles, she was BOUND to get cold. But with an extra layer of luxuriously soft and warm loose marmalade fur...
It just goes to show ya, my friends: a kitty tries to help a peep out and what does he get?
NOTHIN' BUT RUDE.
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.