It's a BEAUTIFUL day in the neighbourhood. The sun is shining, the air is warm, and methinks spring has finally sprung.
And the birds! The birds, they are a-singing. Do you hear them? Do you hear their beautiful song?
Let me tell ya, it beats the peep's caterwaulin', for sure. MOUSES!
And the air is filled with the fresh scent of...
Wait a minute...
WAIT A MOUSIE MOUSIN' MINUTE.
The air, my friends, is filled with the stench of smoke.
For mousin' out loud. Peeps aren't allowed to be burnin' brush and stuff anywhere in Nova Scotia between the hours of eight in the mornin' and two in the afternoon. Between those hours, THERE IS NO BURNIN' ALLOWED.
So who the mousie mousin' mouses is the culprit?
Who, I ask you. WHO?
Ironically, the neighbours most likely to be the guilty party have a load of laundry on the line, so it's probably not them.
And that, my friends, is what we call Karma, for sure.
I'm just happy it's not Peep #1 with laundry on the line, 'cause let me tell you somethin' my friends, when my peep has had laundry out and someone has been illegally burning, the resulting assault upon my little kitty ears when she brings in her clothes stinkin' of smoke, is NOT somethin' a respectable kitty like me wants to hear.
Seriously. Last time that happened, listenin' to the peep made even ME blush.
But you know...
Have you noticed...
Have you ever noticed that peeps break rules all the time? Rules like burnin' brush when brush burnin' is simply not allowed?
AND HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED that even though peeps are chronic rule breakers themselves, an innocent kitty such as myself breaks one teeny-tiny, minuscule little rule, and the next thing you know...
The next thing you know, 'h's and double hockey sticks are breaking out all over the place, for sure.
I'm tellin' ya, a TOTALLY INNOCENT MARMALADE KITTY breaks ONE LITTLE RULE and the next thing you know...
Okay, so even I know I'm not supposed to be poopin' in plant pots, but ...
But to be perfectly honest, I didn't actually poop.
I NEVER INTENDED to poop, as a matter of fact.
I was merely digging a hole.
Yeah, THAT'S what I was doin'. That's what I was doin', for sure. Just diggin' an innocent little hole.
And what I was gonna do with said hole after it was dug...
IS BETWEEN ME AND THAT THERE DUG HOLE.
And for everybody's information, THERE IS NO no-hole-diggin'-allowed-between-the-hours-of-eight-and-two rule in existence.
No rules were broken at all.
At least none made by the Government of Nova Scotia.