So yesterday afternoon, Peep #1 went to the human nip store to buy some... Well some catnip, I suppose. I actually didn't ask her, but anyway...
Anyway, Peep #1 went to the human nip store to buy somethin' which was probably catnip, and when she got into line with her nip, there were two men in front of her. The younger man was payin' for his... His catnip, and the older man behind him was waiting. That older man had a lot of stuff - a lot of catnip - in his cart, and he looked over at my peep with her one little itty bitty witty package of nip and said, "Would you like to go first?"
Well the peep, bein' a peep, never once gave a thought as to how if she were to take this kind man up on his offer, she could get HOME TO ME all the more quickly, and said no thank you. You know, on account of my peep bein' SELFISH and never ever thinkin' of ME.
So there she was standin' there in line, bein' all jealous and everything over the fact that the younger man was asked to show proof he was old enough to be buyin' the nip. You know, jealous on account of my peep not havin' been asked such a thing since the days when the dinosaurs roamed the Earth.
So ANYWAY, the peep just stood there in line lookin' like a... A peep. Then another peep came along and stood behind her.
THEN a sales clerk opened a second register and said, "I can take whoever is next."
Well I wouldn't be too sure about that if I were him, on account of my having seen my Peep #1 in action, battling the evil forces existing in the universe like... Like uh... Um... Well like whatever evil forces with whom my peep does battle. For example, like the proper usage of whomever versus whoever, and the like. And havin' seen my peep battlin' such battles, I'm pretty sure that that there sales clerk was in no position to "take her."
BUT ANYWAY, you know that guy standing behind the peep? That guy who was NOT next in line, on account of my peep bein' the one who was, in fact, well... Next in line? Remember him?
Do you know what he did?
I'll tell you what he did. That guy standin' behind the peep, raced right over there and cut in line, right IN FRONT of my peep.
Rude as rude can be.
Now I bet you're all wondering what all this rudeness has to do with me, Seville the Cat, other than the fact that that there guy ended up making my peep take EVEN LONGER to get home to me, where she could wait on me paw and paw.
But on the other paw...
The thing is...
The thing is, this morning, I, Seville the Cat, was patiently waitin' for my breakkies to be served when wouldn't you know it, that long-haired marmie freak of a brother of mine, Rushton, waltzed into the kitchen with his tail held high.
And do you know what he did?
Well I'll tell you what he did.
That Rushton went and cut in line. Yup, he went and cut in line right IN FRONT of ME.
I'm tellin' ya, it was TOTALLY unfair. I mean, I had been sittin' there, PATIENTLY waitin' for at least two minutes for my breakkies. Durin' that time Rushy wasn't even in the room! But due to Rushton's unconscionable rudeness, I had to wait ANOTHER TWENTY-THREE WHOLE SECONDS for mine.
For my breakkies, I mean.
Those are twenty-three seconds of my life I'm never gonna get back.
And if you're WONDERIN' how I know it was exactly an extra twenty-three seconds I had to wait...
Well if you're wonderin' about that, it's on account of my now usin' a stop watch to time the peep at mealtimes. The service 'round here has been rather slow as of late, and I've started keeping records.
It's for her own good, you see.