whacking practice

Hey Peepers!  Check the calendar on the wall, would ya?  Check what month this is.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.  Yup.  Uh-huh.

So we're in agreement it's now December, right?

Good.

So...

SO GET OFF YOUR LAZY TAIL, AND PUT THE CHRISTMAS TREE UP.

MOUSES!

It's December, Peepers.  Time to start deckin' the halls, and stuff like that.

And while you're at it, you might wanna put those ghost decorations from Hallowe'en back in the garage.

Just sayin'...

MOUSES!

Come on Peepers, I have a Christmas tree to knock down.

And we all know I can't even begin to work on topplin' it over, until it's up.

MOUSES!

So where are we on this tree?

You need to finish your coffee, FIRST?

MOUSES!

Peepers, I'LL finish the coffee for you, if you don't get up off your tail, and...

Well of course I'm not gonna drink it.  Coffee is very bad for kitties, you know.  I was actually thinking more along the lines of...

Well...

Well usin' it for whackin' practice, actually.  You see, a cat needs to start practicin' his whackin' skills on somethin', each season.  No reason not to do a few trial whacks with the coffee pot.  Make sure my aim is spot on and stuff.  You know, practicin' my whacks for when the tree goes up, 'cause once it's up, there will be a whole lot of whackin' to be done, for sure.

Think of it like battin' practice for cats who like to whack.

MOUSES!

Whackin'?

You know, like when I whack the ornaments with my paws, knockin' them one by one, onto the floor.  The ornamental breakables you put up on the tree.  The breakable ornamentals.  THE ORNAMENTS YOU PUT ON THE TREE FOR ME TO WHACK.

Boy-oh-boy, Peep #1 is super slow on the uptake today.  She's movin' like a turtle on crutches, for sure. 

Guess she really does need that coffee to get her movin', after all.

Humph!

But anyway...

But anyway Peepers, once I've whacked all the ornamental breakables off the tree, I can then whack the tree itself, and bring it down.


Why?  Why do I need to knock down the ornaments BEFORE knockin' down the tree, you ask?

ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?

SO THEY WON'T BREAK WHEN I WHACK THE TREE DOWN.

Here Peepers, drink another cup of coffee.  You get that in ya, and we can start this conversation all over again.

I promise to explain more slowly next time.

MOUSES!