Wednesday, 3 January 2018

the door

"Woe is me.  I'm always on the wrong side of the door."

You can say that again, Andy.

"I'm always on the wrong side of the door."

Oh for mousin' out loud.  When I said, you can say that again, I didn't mean for you to take me quite so literally, and actually say it again.

MOUSES!

And quit sighing like that.  It's very unbecoming for a cat.

MOUSES!

"But you sigh all the time, Sivvers."

That's different.  That's me.  It's totally different, for sure.

But you know...

You know, there is some truth to what you're sayin', Andy.  We cats are always on the wrong side of the door, 'cause whatever side we're on, it always seems to be the opposite side of where we wanna be.  I think it's a law of nature or somethin'.  Or maybe it's physics.  Hmmm..  Nah, sounds more like geography, to me.

And now that I think about it, it's a lot like a time travellin' paradox, where you can't change the past without changin' the future, thereby no longer allowin' you to change the past, on account of the newly changed future no longer givin' you the ability to travel into the past to change it.

Well it's kinda like that, anyway.  'Cept without the time travel stuff, of course.

I believe it may be called, The Wrong Side of the Door Paradox.

MOUSES!

Andy, don't look at me like that.  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' that I, Seville the Cat, am just makin' stuff up.  Makin' stuff up off the top of my head, and..

Hmmm...

Actually, you might be right about that, 'cause you know, I do make up a lot of stuff.

I MEAN, INVENT.

I mean, I do invent a lot of things. I discover a lot of stuff, too.

Why, just the other day...

Uh...  Never mind.

MOUSES!

"But Seville..."

What?  What do you want now?

And I thought I told you to stop lookin' at me, Andy.  Stop lookin' at me like that!

Anderson, if you wanna stare at me, you can stare at me with wonderment or adoration or anythin' similar to those things, but do not - and I repeat, DO NOT - stare at me like that.

It's very unbecoming, you see.

At least it is to me.

MOUSES!

AND STOP SIGHING!  I thought I told you to stop sighin', before.

By the way, Andy, why is it that you're sighin', anyway?  You still upset 'bout bein' on the wrong side of the door?  'Cause there's really no point in bein' upset about the Wrong Side of the Door Paradox.  Nothin' we cats can do 'bout the existence of a paradox.  Nothin' at all!

Hmmm...

Andy, how come you wanna be on the other side of the door so badly?

"I don't know.  I just do.  I just really, REALLY do."

Then ask the peep to open the door for you and let you outside.

"But there's snow outside, Sivvers."

Then stay in.

"But I want to go out."

Then go out!  Seriously Andy, it's not all that complicated, you know.  Either you stay inside, on THIS side of the door, or you go outside where you'll be on THAT side of the door.  It's not complicated, at all.

"But Seville, if I stay on this side of the door, I'll be inside when I want to be out.  But if I go outside, I will be on the other side of the door which is where I want to be right now, but I'll also be out in the snow.  And I don't want to be out in the snow.  And since I don't want to be outside in the snow, technically, I'll be on the wrong side of the door.  But by staying inside, I'm on the wrong side of the door, too."

"Seville...  Do you think it's possible there could be three sides to a door?"

Yes, Andy.  Yes, I do.  I do believe there could be three sides to that particular door.

"You do?"

Oh yeah.  There's the side of the door we're lookin' at right now.  The inside side of the door.  And there's the outside side of the door, too.  That's two sides, right?  Then there's the third side of that very same door.  The third side is the side that's gonna hit you on your backside if you keep sighing 'bout bein' on the wrong side of the door.

MOUSES!

"I don't think I like that third side of the door, Seville.  I think I might just stay inside, on this side of the door."

Well I'm glad we got that sorted.

"Even if it is THE WRONG side of the door, and..."

"OUCH!  What did you do that for, Seville?"

Oh, I don't know, Andy.  Sometimes a cat has just gotta smacky paw his brother, you see.  I think it's a law of nature or somethin'.  Or maybe it's physics.  Hmmm...  Nah, sounds more like sociology, to me.

MOUSES!

28 comments:

  1. OH. MY. GOSH.
    The Wrong Side of the Door Paradox...the mind just reels...

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    1. It sure does! Paradoxes will do that to you. purrs

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  2. Bwa! Haa!! Haaa!!!
    ...if I stay on this side of the door, I'll be inside when I want to be out. But if I go outside, I will be on the other side of the door which is where I want to be right now, but I'll also be out in the snow. And I don't want to be out in the snow. And since I don't want to be outside in the snow, technically, I'll be on the wrong side of the door. But by staying inside, I'm on the wrong side of the door, too...
    Andy sounds JUST LIKE KOZMO!!!!
    Purrs
    Marv

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    1. Could they have been twins separated at birth? MOUSES!

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  3. The door should just be left open so you can go in or out as you please. I'm sure the peeps won't mind a thousand dollar heating bill. 😄

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    1. Hmmm... WHAT A GREAT IDEA! Of course, today it wouldn't just be cold air gettin' in. There'd be cold rain gettin' in, too. Our storm started out as snow but now it's rainin' and the wind is blowin' that rain all about. MOUSES!

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  4. Well Andy, I hope you eventually can decide which side of the door you really want to be on. I think the inside sounds better than the snowy side though.

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    1. Even Andy has to admit, it usually does. purrs

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  5. Even I might smacky paw Andy after that conversation!

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    1. Yeah, sometimes I just can't help myself. MOUSES!

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  6. I wish there weren't any doors. Wouldn't that be nice? Then we wouldn't be doored out of the place we want to be. Tee hee hee! Happy Mew Year Seville & Andy! Hugs!

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    1. And some doors are worse than others! Like cupboard doors behind which peeps hide treats. THOSE DOORS need to go first, for sure. MOUSES!

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  7. Whats we cats need is a third door to take us to somewhere between the two.... though I guess with Andy that would just mean one extra complication to resolve! MOL
    Toodle pips
    ERin

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    1. Hmmm... I wonder how many sides doors have in alternate dimensions. Worth checkin' out, for sure. purrs

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  8. With all this wacky weather I think you all should DEFINITELY be on the RIGHT side of the door which is the INSIDE SIDE of the door (huh?!). It's too cold to be out there!

    Hugs, Teddy

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    Replies
    1. It got a whole lot warmer today! The storm brought milder air. Of course, it's not really mild in any way but temperature. The wind is a whole lot more like a fierce lion than mild-mannered, for sure. MOUSES!

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  9. My cats all like to smacky paw one another too -cat logic, just like with wanting to be on the other side of a door.

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    1. Sometimes a kitty has just gotta do what a kitty has gotta do, and if that involves smacky paws, so be it. MOUSES!

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  10. That's why doors should not be closed then the wrong side wouldn't much matter!

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  11. All we know is if we didn't want to be on the other side of the door and needed our Mom to open it fifty times a day (her guestimate), she'd need to find some other way to get in some exercise. Therefore, we're doing her a favor. That's called a win-win. Don't listen to what Mom calls it.

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    1. Hmmm... HMMM... What you're suggestin' makes a LOT of sense, for sure. I'm gonna go tell the peep how we cats are helpin' her with her exercises, too. purrs

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  12. Maybe your peeps should just leave all the doors open. The paradox would be solved. MOL!

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    1. Now THAT would be a good idea, for sure. MOUSES!

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  13. yup, a quick smacky paw always sorts out brofurs like Andy...just sayin'

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.