It's a good thing, Peepers. Really, it is. Really. IT IS!
For mousin' out loud, Peepers. Most people would be happy to find out that...
Anyone know what to do with a broken-hearted peep?
Peepers, would you like to share some of my nip?
I don't have very much nip to share but I'm willin' to share some of what I do have, with you. If you think it will help, Peepers.
I can spare this much. Will this much help? Will this much make you feel better, Peepers?
I know it's not a lot but I don't really have a lot to spare. And truth be told, the reason I don't have a lot of nip in the first place, is on account of your poor nip-growin' skills. But since I'm tryin' to raise your spirits here, we won't get into that today.
Of course, tomorrow will be a totally different story.
But today, I'm willin' to share this half paw's worth of nip with you, Peepers.
Well... Maybe just half of that. Don't want to leave myself short on the nip front, you see.
Well... Maybe just half of half of that.
Peepers... PEEPERS... PEEPERS!
Oh come on, Peepers. Cheer up!
Can someone please help me cheer up this broken-hearted peep?
In case you were wonderin'...
You all know 'bout how Peep #1 has been tryin' to gain the trust of Dionysia, right? You know Dionysia. The kitty who showed up at our house on New Years Day?
I know, it's confusin', 'cause at first, Peep #1 called her Here Kitty Kitty but later decided to call her Dionysia or Dionysus, dependin' upon whether Here Kitty Kitty was a boy or a girl. Of course, Peep #1 never did figure that bit out but that didn't stop her. No sirree. After a while, Peep #1 named Here Kitty Kitty, Dionysia, which pretty much ensured that she was actually a he, 'cause you all know 'bout my peep and her reputation for givin' girl cats, boys' names, and boy cats, names for girls. MOUSES!
Anyway, for over eight months now, Peep #1 has been gradually gainin' Dionysia's trust. At first, Dionysia would run away as soon as she saw the peep comin'. But in the last few months, the peep has made great progress. Dionysia comes almost every night for din-dins, waitin' for the peep out on the veranda! In fact, the peep can even pick her up! And she purrs! MOUSES!
I was bracin' myself. I was bracin' myself for the news, for sure. I figured that any day now, Peep #1 was gonna announce that we were gettin' a new sister. Or a brother, 'cause - OF COURSE - the little matter of whether Dionysia was a girl or a boy was still unsettled. Dionysia is not one to walk about with her tail held high. She's not a confident kitty like me, you see.
But on Friday night...
On Friday night, Dionysia arrived at the front door...
Wait for it...
WEARIN' A COLLAR!
Apparently, Dionysia has a home and a family and we never even knew. MOUSES!
I need to say that again. MOUSES!
So now, after more than eight months of workin' on gainin' Dionysia's trust, Peep #1 is heart-broken. Heart-broken 'cause Dionysia already has a home.
You'd think her havin' a home would be a good thing but...
But the peep says that had she known Dionysia was somebody else's kitty way back when, she would never have allowed herself to become so attached.
I SAY, had the peep known Dionysia was somebody else's kitty way back when, instead of spendin' all those evenings trying to gain Dionysia's trust, she could have been spending 'em learnin' how to grow nip. MOUSES!
And now, after wastin' all that time with matters unrelated to the growin' of the nip, I have but this eighth of a paw's worth of nip to share...
I mean, I have but this sixteenth of a paw's worth of nip to share with the peep, to help make her feel better. MOUSES!
And if that's not bad enough, now the peep is on a quest to find out who Dionysia's real peeps are. Goodness knows how long that's gonna take. Goodness knows how much more time the peep will be spendin', not growin' nip.