song and dance

Hold on there Peepers! Let me put on some music for you.

Hmmm...  Now as you're already singing...

Haha...  Singing. HAHAHA!  You're killin' me, Peepers.  *snorts* YOU'RE KILLING ME!

But like I was sayin', since you're already singing *wink wink* your own lyrics, I'll put on something instrumental. Hmmm...

What's that, Peepers?  You're a what?  I can't make out the words to your song on account of all that coughing and sputtering and stuff you're doin'.

And are those dance moves, Peepers?

Okay...  Yeah...  If I tilt my head just so, I suppose those could be called dance moves.  Maybe. Perhaps.  Well...

You ever consider signing up for some dance lessons, Peepers?

What's that, Peepers?  Again with the coughing?  And the sputtering?  What's that you're singing? You're a what?

Oh.  You're a vegetarian.

Well I know that.

Peepers, that's the most stupid lyric to a song I've ever heard.

And you're creating a dance to it?  Really?  REALLY?  MOUSES!

Peepers, sometimes I really wonder 'bout you.  I mean...

Oh there you go again, stomping a paw and coughing and sputtering somethin' about vegetarians and...

Maybe veggies can't sing.  Or dance.  Or...

A RAIN DANCE!  Is that what you're doin', Peepers?  Are you doin' some kind of rain dance?  Why didn't you say so in the first place?  MOUSES!

Truth be told, due to the lack of rain and two out-of-control forest fires at this end of the province, we could really do with some rain, for sure.  A rain dance might be just what the doctor ordered!

On the other paw, seein' you dance the way you're dancin', maybe the doctor himself is what should be on order.

You havin' some kind of fit or somethin', Peepers?

I told you before, I can't understand what you're sayin'!  Singing..  Whatever.

Peepers, no one is gonna be able to understand the lyrics to your new song if you keep coughing and sputtering like that.

YOU'RE A WHAT?

I never said you were.  Not ever.  Never once did I say you were hard of hearing.  MOUSES!

Of course, peeps listenin' to you singing your little song might wish THEY were hard of hearing but...

Oh.  OH!  Oh I can understand you now.  Well good for you, Peepers.  You stopped coughing and sputtering.  Now what were those lyrics you were singing?

And for the record, I'm usin' the word singing very liberally.  Normally, you don't sing.  Normally, you caterwaul.  But normally, you're a whole lot louder and...  Well normally, you're not doin' the whole song and dance routine.  NORMALLY, there is no dancing.

And also for the record, I'm usin' the word dancing very liberally, too.  MOUSES!

Now spit it out, Peepers.  What were you...

MOUSES WOMAN!  When I said spit it out, I didn't mean for you to actually spit somethin' out. What the mouses do you think you're doin'?  Are you havin' another fit or...

What is that little speck you spat out, anyway?  Peepers?

Hmmm...

A fruit fly?  MOUSES!

What's that, Peepers?  You were havin' a glass of wine and there was a fruit fly flyin' around and you didn't notice it and the fruit fly flew right into your mouth and...

What is this?  Tongue-twisting kittens' literature featuring alliteration?  MOUSES!

Alliteration..  Litter...  Hehehehehehe...  *snorts again*  Never mind.

Anyway...

Do you mean to say...  Do you mean to say that all that jumping and hopping and coughing and sputtering and stuff were all on account of your swallowing a fruit fly?

Do I think you've gone and ruined twenty plus years of vegetarianism by swallowing one little ol' fly?

It was very SMALL fly, Peepers. 

Actually Peepers, it was a barely a speck.  It was...

I GET IT NOW!  You weren't so much singing as...

Again, I'm using the word singing very liberally.

But what was actually goin' on is that you were distressed to have swallowed a fruit fly on account of your bein' a vegetarian.  I see...

By the way, why were you dancin'?

You say you weren't dancing.

Well, yeah, I have to kinda agree with you on that.  By the way, you weren't really singing, either, but...

But there was a lot of stomping and jumping and stuff goin' on.

You see Peepers, you're not a very good dancer at the best of times so you can understand why I thought you might be attempting to dance. Attempting.  Attempting as in tryin' to dance without actually dancin'.

There, there, Peepers.  Calm down. Take another sip of your drink and wash away any bad tastes that little ol' speck of a fruit fly left in your mouth and...

What?  More singing?  More dancing? MOUSES!

Oh for mousin' out loud.  By gosh and by golly, I do believe Peep #1 has gone and swallowed another fruit fly.  MOUSES!