I, Seville the Cat, have a confession to make.
Hello, my name is Seville, and I have never met a zebra.
Can you believe it? It's true. Never in my whole nine lives have I ever met a zebra. Of course, I've never met an elephant or an ostrich or a rhinoceros, either, but today, I'm just talkin' about the zebras. MOUSES!
BUT I HAVE A PLAN.
It has come to my attention that in some countries, like the United Kingdom, those pedestrian crossing thingies that we in Canada call pedestrian crossing thingies or crosswalks, are called zebra crossings.
Now some might say those pedestrian crossing thingies are called zebra crossings on account of their black and white striping. You know, making 'em look like zebras and all.
In fact, Peep #1 said something to that effect just this morning but you know me; I ignored her. I thought that was the polite thing to do, rather than tell her that what she was sayin' made absolutely no sense at all. I mean, why did the peeps who made 'em, make 'em look like zebras in the first place? WHY? Why not make 'em with spots like leopards or make 'em gold and black for tigers? Obviously, those peeps were lookin' to attract themselves some zebras. MOUSES!
I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', if those zebra crossings were meant to be a place for zebras to safely cross the road, they'd use one of those yellow diamond-shaped signs like the ones for cattle crossings, golf cart crossings, deer crossings, and the like.
And actually, what you're thinkin' does kinda make sense.
But there's a problem.
Problem is, zebras can't read. MOUSES!
Now I'm not sayin' that cows and stuff can read but...
But even if I'm not sayin' it, it doesn't mean it's not true. MOUSES!
And I know, those signs would have a picture with a zebra on it and everything, but let's face, unless the actual word zebra is included along with the picture, you're more likely to attract yourself some horses.
Clearly, what the inventors of these zebra crossings were doing when painting 'em black and white, was making a sign for the zebras that the zebras would not have to be read.
And since I've never seen a black and white striped horse, the horses don't have to read 'em, either. MOUSES!
You build it, they will come.
You paint it, they will come.
Well the peep, bein' a peep, thinks she has an answer for everythin', and her answer for this was that she has been stopped at many a pedestrian crossing thingy in her time and never, EVER, has she ever noticed any zebras.
Well I had an answer for her!
Clearly, she's one very unobservant peep.
Most people would notice a zebra crossing the road, I should think. MOUSES!
Makes you wonder how the peep got her drivers' licence in the first place. MOUSES!
But back to my plan. Remember? I have a plan.
I'm thinkin' that if I paint some white stripes on the road just in front of my house, I'll have a zebra crossing all of my very own. Then all I need do is sit back with a niptini in each paw, and wait for the zebras to arrive.
I'm just hopin' that some zebras out there will find my zebra crossing. After all, with all those zebra crossings they have in places like the United Kingdom, those Brits have a huge head start on us, regarding attracting the zebra population. Got my paws crossed that at least one or two zebras will come my way. I'm countin' on it, for sure.
And then, after I've met up with a zebra, I'll figure out some way to meet me some elephants. I hear they're attracted to living rooms. Well we already have a living room. Perhaps I can attract an elephant to it if I fill up a candy dish with some peanuts. MOUSES!