I, Seville the Cat, have a confession to make.
Hello, my name is Seville, and I have never met a zebra.
Can you believe it? It's true. Never in my whole nine lives have I ever met a zebra. Of course, I've never met an elephant or an ostrich or a rhinoceros, either, but today, I'm just talkin' about the zebras. MOUSES!
BUT I HAVE A PLAN.
It has come to my attention that in some countries, like the United Kingdom, those pedestrian crossing thingies that we in Canada call pedestrian crossing thingies or crosswalks, are called zebra crossings.
Now some might say those pedestrian crossing thingies are called zebra crossings on account of their black and white striping. You know, making 'em look like zebras and all.
In fact, Peep #1 said something to that effect just this morning but you know me; I ignored her. I thought that was the polite thing to do, rather than tell her that what she was sayin' made absolutely no sense at all. I mean, why did the peeps who made 'em, make 'em look like zebras in the first place? WHY? Why not make 'em with spots like leopards or make 'em gold and black for tigers? Obviously, those peeps were lookin' to attract themselves some zebras. MOUSES!
I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', if those zebra crossings were meant to be a place for zebras to safely cross the road, they'd use one of those yellow diamond-shaped signs like the ones for cattle crossings, golf cart crossings, deer crossings, and the like.
And actually, what you're thinkin' does kinda make sense.
But there's a problem.
Problem is, zebras can't read. MOUSES!
Now I'm not sayin' that cows and stuff can read but...
But even if I'm not sayin' it, it doesn't mean it's not true. MOUSES!
And I know, those signs would have a picture with a zebra on it and everything, but let's face, unless the actual word zebra is included along with the picture, you're more likely to attract yourself some horses.
Clearly, what the inventors of these zebra crossings were doing when painting 'em black and white, was making a sign for the zebras that the zebras would not have to be read.
And since I've never seen a black and white striped horse, the horses don't have to read 'em, either. MOUSES!
You build it, they will come.
You paint it, they will come.
MOUSES!
Well the peep, bein' a peep, thinks she has an answer for everythin', and her answer for this was that she has been stopped at many a pedestrian crossing thingy in her time and never, EVER, has she ever noticed any zebras.
Well I had an answer for her!
Clearly, she's one very unobservant peep.
Most people would notice a zebra crossing the road, I should think. MOUSES!
Makes you wonder how the peep got her drivers' licence in the first place. MOUSES!
But back to my plan. Remember? I have a plan.
I'm thinkin' that if I paint some white stripes on the road just in front of my house, I'll have a zebra crossing all of my very own. Then all I need do is sit back with a niptini in each paw, and wait for the zebras to arrive.
I'm just hopin' that some zebras out there will find my zebra crossing. After all, with all those zebra crossings they have in places like the United Kingdom, those Brits have a huge head start on us, regarding attracting the zebra population. Got my paws crossed that at least one or two zebras will come my way. I'm countin' on it, for sure.
And then, after I've met up with a zebra, I'll figure out some way to meet me some elephants. I hear they're attracted to living rooms. Well we already have a living room. Perhaps I can attract an elephant to it if I fill up a candy dish with some peanuts. MOUSES!
Hmmmm, I don't have Bear crossing signs but I have Bears here. I think I shall dream up some zebras for you and send them your way. After all I don't really need Zebras and Bears now do I. Have a great day and NO DIGGING UP THOSE PRETTY FLOWERS Seville!!!!
ReplyDeleteYup, if you happen to see a zebra or two, please direct them my way. So far my crossing isn't workin'. MOUSES!
DeleteIf you find a way to meet a zebra and other cool animals, let us know!
ReplyDeleteWill do! purrs
Deletedood !!! if ewe can get zebra & elephants ta visit yur houz try all sew for lionz & tigerz ... & noe we iz KNOT goin with bearz oh my.... coz thoze bass terdz steel R salmon everee chance they get......why knot invite ALL de big cats....how kewl wood that be tho yur street iz gonna end up lookin kinda well....like knot a street with all that paint !! ♥♥♥☺☺☺
ReplyDeleteBears steel the salmon? MOUSES! I NEVER KNEW!!! purrs
DeleteYou need to be careful Seville, I don't think you want to cross a zebra, it might get even!
ReplyDeleteIt might? MOUSES!
DeleteBear has experience making signs if you need help :)
ReplyDeleteThat's right! BC is a PRO at the sign-makin', for sure! purrs
DeleteWe've never seen a zebra either, Seville. So let us know if figure out a way to see one. We may try that too.
ReplyDeleteStill no sign of 'em. You think Canadian zebras can't read the signs? purrs
DeleteI've never heard of zebra crossings, but I like the sound of that! Well, here's to hoping that you get to meet a zebra... and then an elephant.
ReplyDeleteI'm still waitin'. And hopin'. Got my paws crossed, for sure. MOUSES!
DeleteOoh, we sure hope this works, Sivvers! Zebras and elephants? After that, maybe some tigers and lions and panfurs! :)
ReplyDeleteI've LOVE to meet a panfur, for sure! purrs
DeleteOh, that sounds like fun Seville. You'll have the neighbours talking for sure and won't they be surprised to see the zebras!
ReplyDeleteSasha, Sami, & Saku
They will! When those zebras finally show up, ALL the neighbours will be talkin', for sure. MOUSES!
DeleteWhat a great plan, Seville! I can't wait to find out what the zebras have to say for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to hear what they have to say 'bout bein' so late! Still not a trace. MOUSES!
DeleteOooh, I like the idea of painting your own stripes... I wonder if I you'd also get Pandas and Magpies and other such black and white animals? PS Have you thought about doing a Marmie striped crossing? purrs ERin
ReplyDeleteOne tabby marmie at this house is enough, I should think. I already have to deal with those two long-haired marmies. On a daily basis! MOUSES!
DeleteAnother deep and very meaningful reflection, Seville! You must get tired with all that thinking, pal!
ReplyDeletePurrs,
The Chans
I do think a lot. Of course, I nap a lot, too. MOUSES!
DeleteAnd then there's the nippin'! purrs
DeleteYou know, now I come to think about it I can't say I remember ever having seen a zebra, and we have those zebra crossings everywhere.
ReplyDeleteAnd not a single zebra? MOUSES!
DeleteWe've never seen a zebra crossing the road either, you know. Purrs
ReplyDeleteI'm beginnin' to wonder 'bout these zebras and their ability to read the signs for crossin', for sure. MOUSES!
DeleteHm.... we've never met zebras OR elephants!
ReplyDeleteNeither one? I'll be sure to call you when either bother to show up. Still waitin'. MOUSES!
DeleteGood luck with meeting the zebra. Maybe you will meet a unicorn too :)
ReplyDeleteOoohhh.... What kinda crossin' do I need to paint to attract the unicorns? purrs
DeleteSeville, sounds like you do, indeed, have a plan -- good luck with that!! I have seen zebras and elephants, albeit, in a zoo -- never out wandering the roads and street crossings -- (probably a good thing -- LOL). . . cute post!! kitty kisses, {{{hugs}}} and head bonkies from all of us her at the Ricciardi home!! ♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteHow 'bout lounging in a backyard? You ever see any there? purrs
DeleteWEll....................it sounds logical to us. Good luck with your plan, we have never seen a zebra either.
ReplyDeleteSounds perfectly logical to me, too, but so far, not a trace. MOUSES!
DeleteWe have a zebra patterned rug, does that count? MOL MOL MOL
ReplyDeletePurrs
Basil & Co xox
I think it does! Any zebra sightings yet? purrs
DeleteWe think zebras are cool!
ReplyDeleteThe human has seen a lot of them when in Africa, me...not so much.
have a super weekend...
Noodle and crew
Hmmm... By not so much, do you mean you've seen only a few? purrs
Delete*checks under floor rugs*...*checks under couch*...*checks under TKS' butt*...Nope, no Zebras here buddy. You sure you aren't takin' a hit of that 'nip gin?? I told you to leave it behind!
ReplyDeleteYou checked under Sage's butt? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteZebra schmeebra...nothing is as amazing as watching a cat doing zoomies, right Sivvers?
ReplyDeleteWell the zoomies ARE the best. Yup, they really are. For sure! purrs
DeleteUh, Seville, be careful with the peanuts. They invite squirrels and maybe your peeps would like the elephant better!
ReplyDeleteWe've already been inundated with squirrels. They hang out by the old oak tree at the end of the drive, peltin' helpless cats and peeps as we pass. MOUSES!
DeleteHmmmmm that is sounding like some good ideas Seville! Maybe we can try them....
ReplyDeletePlease let me know if any zebras show up at your house. So far, I've had no luck attracting 'em. MOUSES!
Delete