Hello. Hello there. Hello kitty.
Uh, excuse me but um... who are you?
Better yet, why are here in my house?
Cat got your tongue?
Not answering me, huh? Hmmm....
Be right back.
Hey Mason, do you know who that black kitty is, in the kitchen?
Which one! How many black kitties ARE there in our kitchen? MOUSES!
Yeah, that one. Who is she? She? He? Hmmm... Not sure if she's a girl or a boy, actually. Truth be told, I didn't ask. MOUSES!
No, I'm not gonna ask the peep. Peep #1 is useless when it comes to stuff like that. Might I remind you that you're a girl kitty who goes by the name of Mason? Mason that happens to be a boys' name? Same thing with our sister, Tobias. Peep #1 is responsible for that, you know. Besides, I'm not sure the peep even knows there's a black kitty in our kitchen, anyway.
But you knew there was a strange kitty in our house. Mason, how did you know that?
You heard her crying during the night? That was her? Gosh, I heard her, too.
What's that, Mason? Why didn't I do something when I heard the little kitty crying? Actually, I did do something. I rolled over and told Rushton to shut up. Guess it wasn't Rushy crying after all, huh? MOUSES!
Yeah, I probably do owe Rushton an apology over that. Awww.... MOUSES!
But back to my original question. Who the mouses is that black kitty in our kitchen and why is she or he there? Someone invite her over or something? Did she come for tea?
Too true. Nosey-Neighbour-Cat never needs an invite to come over to our house. MOUSES!
Hold on, Mason. I wanna check on something.
Okay, I'm back. Yeah, she's still there. Or he. Still not sure about that.
NO, I'm not gonna ask her if she's a girl or a boy. You ask a girl kitty if she's a boy and the next thing you know, you're being slappy pawed from here to eternity. You girl kitties don't like being called boys, for sure. Believe me, I know. MOUSES!
Mason, why don't you ask her?
No go, huh? FINE. But we can ask her or him what she or he is doing in our house, right? Come on, Mason. Come on and ask her with me.
Well look at that! She just disappeared downstairs. Or he... Either way, a black floofy tail just disappeared down into the basement. MOUSES!
Hey Andy! You know anything 'bout that long-haired black kitty, we don't know, who spent last night in our house?
Really? REALLY? You don't say. So that's the kitty Peep #1 has been feeding outside every night since she saw him way back when on New Year's Day, huh? That's the kitty she calls Here Kitty Kitty? What a stupid name. She might as well have called him Hello Kitty like I think I did 'bout fifteen minutes ago.
You're kidding. Mason, are you telling me that Peep #1 has been calling Here Kitty Kitty, Dionysus, too? I never knew. MOUSES!
How's he ever gonna learn his name if she keeps changing it?
And is Dionysus a girls' name or a boys' name? You think the peep knows? Probably not. As I mentioned earlier, Peep #1 never gets stuff like that right. Forgot about that for a mo.
And she sometimes calls him Dionysia, too? Is that even a name? I'm feeling the need to reiterate, as I so often do. When it comes to the naming of cats, Peep #1 hasn't got a clue as to what she's doing. MOUSES!
Okay, enough of that. Back to the question at paw. What is Here Kitty Kitty or Dionysus or whatever his or her name is, doing in my - I mean, our - house?
So what you're both telling me is that this kitty whom we don't really know, who might be a girl or might be a boy, goes by the name of Here Kitty Kitty and Dionysus and sometimes Dionysia, and was calling out during the night (even though I thought it was Rushton, at the time), just walked into our house on his or her own, yesterday, without any kind of invitation, and spent the night and... and... and...
DOES THE PEEP KNOW?
She doesn't? How do you know that?
That's right! Peep #1 put food out for Here Kitty Kitty last night. I heard her calling his name and everything. She put the food out on the veranda and then she was calling Here Kitty Kitty and then she came back inside so that Here Kitty Kitty would come and eat on account of Here Kitty Kitty being too scared of the peeps to let the peeps near her. Or him. Whatever. But the bottom line is, the Peep couldn't have known that Here Kitty Kitty was inside the house or she wouldn't have put the food outside on the veranda. MOUSES!
Okay, two things.
And secondly, if Here Kitty Kitty was inside all night, that food the peep put out on the veranda is probably still out there. Interesting...
You know, the peep has been putting extra special food out there for Here Kitty Kitty, hoping to gain his or her trust on account of his being so scared of the peep. So that extra special and probably super yummy food is still sitting out there on the veranda, all by itself. Hmmm...
Excuse me, if you will. I do believe I hear a snack calling my name. MOUSES!