I know, I know... Once a peep, always a peep. MOUSES!
Guess you really can't help yourself. I mean, you were born a peep so your being peepish should come as no surprise to anyone. Not even to me. It's not like you can have a peep adjustment or something like that. Not like they can de-peepify you or anything, right? Although if someone were to figure out how to do that... But I really don't think de-peepifications are possible with today's limited technology. Too bad though 'cause there would be a market for stuff like that, for sure.
The thing is this, Peepers. Sometimes...
Scratch that. Quite often, your peepish behaviours and attitudes grate on my feline sensibilities. MOUSES!
But I haven't totally given up on you, Peepers. I'm pretty sure that with my help, we can make a new and improved you. With a little...
Scratch that. With a lot of hard work, we can make a new and improved peep out of you, for sure.
Now to get us started, I've made a list of stuff I think you need to work on. We won't be able to tackle everything all at once on account of it being a pretty long list. But surely we can make a start.
Pass me the paper on top of that big ol' pile of papers, would you Peepers?
I told you, Peepers. It's a pretty long list, for sure. MOUSES!
So that was my plan. In reality, however, things worked out slightly differently. For starters, Peep #1 totally ignored my list. In fact, my list has now become one with the recycling bin. MOUSES!
Now here's the thing with peeps. They tend to be overly sensitive about a number of things including, but not limited to, being presented with a fifty-page list of needed improvements and adjustments in their attitudes and behaviours.
Did I say list? Yeah, I did say list. In fact, I said it more than once. But really, I should have said, summary or better yet, summarized list. Or maybe listed summaries? You see, it started out as a simple list but truth be told, I had to summarize most of my points on account of my having only one package of paper. MOUSES!
But you know, I kind of think that the sheer length of my summarized list is what got me off on the wrong paw with the peep. But it wasn't my fault. No sirree. Not my fault the peep has so many faults and believe-you-me, it was that large number of faults that necessitated such a long list, in the first place.
In retrospect however, I probably should have started out with just one or two points. Yeah, one or two points, every day, from now until Christmas. MOUSES!
It all boils down to one thing. It all boils down to the fact that peeps have gotta learn to understand, they're not in charge.
Now Peep #1 might have felt like she was in charge when she disposed of my list but really, she was just deluding herself. Yup, deluding herself, for sure.
You ever hear that saying? That ol' saying 'bout dogs having masters and cats having staff? Well why-oh-why is it wrong for me to wanna improve my staff?
And when you think about it, that's really all I was doing.
And when you really think about it, I was simply just trying to help.
But a cat presents his staff with a fifty-page summarized list of ways they can improve themselves and the next thing that cat knows, his staff is improving the recycling bin with the very same list of improvements.
Like the recycling bin is gonna be able to take those improvements to heart.
No way, no how, am I getting my money back on that package of paper. MOUSES!
Did you realize that there are peeps out there who think they can actually own cats? Yeah, peeps thinking they can own cats. Can you believe it? Just goes to show you how delusional peeps can be. MOUSES!
The truth is, no one ever owns a cat. We cats are our own cats, for sure.
People should feel privileged to live with cats. People should feel honoured to be appreciated and loved by cats. But feel like they own them? NEVER. Never in a million years.
You see, we cats have minds and hearts of our own. We know what we like and what we want and what we need, too. And one of the things we need is good staff, which brings me back to my list.
Now I'm gonna have to go back and write a whole new list and let me tell you, item number one on that new list is gonna be about not putting any more of my lists in the recycling bin, for sure. MOUSES!