"Whatcha got there, Peepers?" I sniffed at the peep's glass. "Wine? Nah, I'll just stick to this here nip mouse, I think. Can't beat a good nip mouse, you know. This one is vintage 2013, I believe." I breathed in, deeply. "Ahhh... 2013 was a great year for the nip."
"Oohhh... but what's that? Cheese? Don't mind if I do!" and I swiped a piece of cheese from the peep's plate. It was Havarti. Delicious. "Pass me another piece of cheese, please. That one. No, not the teeny tiny one. The bigger one over there. Yes, that's the one."
After snackin' on the cheese, I settled in next to Peep #1, usin' my nip mouse for a pillow. It really was a great mouse, only recently having been discovered hiding underneath the chesterfield in the living room. Obviously, none of the other cats in the house had encountered this particular nip mouse before as no one had yet slobbered over it. Any slobbering on this mouse would be done by none other than myself, Nerissa the Cat. EXCELLENT.
I was in serious need of a little evening nap as my afternoon one had been rudely interrupted by the peep and her vacuuming. Why-oh-why peeps insist upon vacuuming is beyond my comprehension. They're not even very good at it. They vacuum once only to turn around and have to do it all over again a few days later. You'd think they could get it right the first time. They certainly get in enough practise. MOUSES!
An hour or so later, I awoke from my nap to find the peeps had disappeared. They were nowhere in sight. Instead, standing before me, was a mouse. A little mouse, carrying a clipboard. He was watching me, intently. Staring, in fact. To be honest, it was a little unnerving. MOUSES!
"Is that you, M24?" I asked.
"No, Sir," replied the mouse. "That would be my brother. I'm M99. Common mistake."
I had to admit, they did all look alike.
"If you'd please follow me," M99 continued, "the Royal Canadian Mouseland Police request your assistance.
I padded after the little mouse, wondering just what The Big Cheese had done this time. Clearly, if the Royal Canadian Mouseland Police were involved, The Big Cheese must be, as well. That rat - I mean, mouse - was always stirrin' up trouble. Stirrin' up trouble like one might stir up a big ol' pot of cheese fondue. Hmmm... I could really go for a little cheese fondue right about now, I thought to myself and wondered if The Big Cheese might have some on paw.
The mouse known as M99 led me into the great red chamber just as a mouse had led me there, once before. But this time, the rows upon rows of seats were empty. "Where are all the mice?" I wondered aloud.
"Summer holidays," M99 replied. "Everyone is gone for the summer except a few of us who stayed behind to help the police clean up this mess.
"I knew it!" I cried. "The Big Cheese... It's his mess right? The Royal Canadian Mouseland Police are cleaning up the mess left behind by The Big Cheese and his cohorts, aren't they?"
"Not The Big Cheese, no. It was aliens."
"ALIENS?" I cried in disbelief. "MOUSES!"
"No, not mice... ALIENS. We believe they're from the Planet of Doom." M99 pointed toward a group of Royal Canadian Mouseland Police officers gathered around a large, monolithic structure, rising out of the red carpet and standing at least twenty mice high. "We've immobilised the alien ship but before we could do so, it beamed up valuable information that we need to retrieve. All of the police records pertaining to the Great Canadian Cheese Conspiracy have been sucked up into that thing along with much of the evidence against The Big Cheese."
I peered into the clear canister, masquerading as the hold of a ship. Sure enough, it was filled with a myriad of files stamped with the Royal Canadian Mouseland Police insignia. There were also an awful lot of crumbs of cheese.
"Ummm..." I began, not really knowing how to break it to the mice. "Guys, uh... This isn't a spaceship from the Planet of Doom," I explained. "This is Peep #1's vacuum. I call it the 'cuum."
"The 'Cuum from the Planet of Doom?" the mice gasped in unison.
"No, I think she ordered it from the shopping channel or somethin'. Anywho... I guess what you need is for me to crack this thing open and retrieve your files, huh?" I stood up on my hind paws so that I could better examine the mechanism used to unleash the canister. "You said the 'cuum has been immobilised?"
One of the Royal Canadian Mouseland Police officers held up the cord to the 'cuum in reply. It had been chewed right through. Peep #1 was not gonna be happy when she found out about that.
I pressed the little red button and gave the canister a good hard shove. It fell to the floor, spilling its contents all over the red carpet of the great hall. Royal Canadian Mouseland Police officers scrambled about, collecting their files and the cheese crumb evidence.
"Well!" I exclaimed to little M99, "That was easy. Anything else you need help with?" I asked. "Any cheese fondue that might need to be eaten or somethin'?"
M99 watched the police officers as they finished up their task of clearin' up the mess left behind by the 'cuum from the supposed planet of Doom. "Are there more of these 'cuums in existence?" he asked. "Do we need to prepare for another invasion?"
"I don't think you need worry 'bout an alien invasion," I answered. "You might have some explainin' to do when the peep finds out 'bout how someone chewed through the 'cuum's electrical cord, though."
As if on cue, I thought I heard Peep #1 cry aloud, "MOUSES!"
The mice disappeared before my very eyes but off in the distance I heard, whispered in unison, "Mice. The plural of mouse, is mice."
MOUSES!
*****************************
By the way, VOTIN' for the Petties Awards is still goin' on. You can VOTE once a day, EVERY DAY, from now until August 7th. Won't you please vote for me? I'd really appreciate it a lot. purrs
NISSY....O...M....C....! o_O!
ReplyDeleteMew've not got alien invaders too...??? Flip, they're taking over the planet!!!!
Come see what Smoochie did to Furrz the Ferocious, our mutant brain sucking alien furrball from another dimension today:
http://www.nerissaslife.com/2014/07/from-planet-of-doom.html
Mew'll be glad mew did! ;)
Don't furget, show them - NO MERCY
The Royal Canadian Mouseland Police must be really pleased to retrieve all their files and evidence. If your Peep had the kind of 'cuum our Mommy has, they won't be so lucky since it would have been flushed right down the toilet.
ReplyDeleteDown the toilet? MOUSES! No, the peep's 'cuum isn't hooked up to the plumbin'. purrs
DeleteWe hope you are right about the aliens.
ReplyDeleteCute as always Nissy. Mommy wuld fweak out ifin da cord tu hers cawpet monster wus chewed fwu. Meez finks hers came fwum a shoppin' channel tu. MOL Ow hoomans just might hav da same kind of cawpet monster. MOL Hav a pawsum day.
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi
dood...frank lee we gotta a gree with de mouze on thiz one...that it bee an ale ee enz ship... one landed in TT & when we looked at de center oh de ship it bee fulla...stuff.....de scaree part iz....we saw R furz in it...like whoa...what de be jezuz happened ther....wuz a vizshuz eggsperimint purrformed upon uz in ...R sleep !!! ????
ReplyDelete☺☺☺
♥
Whoa Nissy we were gettin worried there for a second we thought you were gettin ready to have a mouses invasion!
ReplyDeleteEasiest case you've solved yet, Nissy! Good work.
ReplyDeleteThat sure all sounds very scary to us. Hope you got it all worked out. Stay safe Nissy.
ReplyDeleteAliens! Now that really explains a lot!!! We've been voting every day!
ReplyDeleteMe too! purrs
DeleteGood job Nissy/. I'm sure happy you solved that case cuz we'd lost sleep tonight thinking the same thing would happen here.
DeleteI hope the aliens come and chew my cord- I hate vacuuming.
ReplyDeletehahahaha!!!! Had me worried there for a sec with the aliens! Thank dog it was just the cuum!
ReplyDeleteVoting daily for you!
ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!
You are? Thank you! I really appreciate that a lot. purrs
DeleteOMC Nissy! We have missed out on lots...aliens, Big Cheese...that havarti and nip mousie of yours sound real good though! Have a wonderful week, kitties!
ReplyDeleteMOL! Dey at least shoulda paid ya in cheeze.
ReplyDeleteWe were afraid you had alien mice. Glad to hear you didn't have any aliens at all. That cheese fondue sure sounds good. Let us know if you make some up. XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo
ReplyDeleteYep, Aliens. That totally explains it all, Nissy!
ReplyDeletehehehe those mice are always getting in to some sort of scrap Nissy,xx Speedy
ReplyDeleteBOL
ReplyDeleteOh aliens, well that helps clarify that! We will keep voting!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Thank you so very much for votin'. purrs
DeleteI heard that mice are actually aliens in disguise :)
ReplyDeletePersonally, I would not be surprised to learn that aliens did send those vacuums to earth just to complicate the lives of cats and dogs
ReplyDeleteAh, so THAT explains everything. Got it *taking notes on our own little clipboard*
ReplyDeleteLet's see, you were visited by alien mouses who didn't have any cheese fondue for you to snack on. Quite an adventure. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is one wild adventure! We use the vacuum here too. Pierre attacked it and ripped its furry thingamabob off the end of its trunk the other day! Alas, it did not kill it.
ReplyDeleteThat darn alien 'cumm! At least you saved the game again as usual!
ReplyDeleteMarty
Wow, that was a wild adventure you had there, Niss! I don't vacuum very often, as I have no kids or anything that makes a mess to vacuum up. But of course, I vacuum when needed.
ReplyDeleteHave a pawsome day!
♥Mikko and Jax at Happiness is Siamese!♥
We don't have MOUSES. That would be fun to chase around.
ReplyDelete