What do you mean my sarcasm isn't appreciated? I'm just statin' the facts. Those thirteen hits, yesterday, are more than you had for the entire month of May. Whatcha doin' that's so different? How are you uppin' your game? Perhaps you could give me a pointer or two?
Oh, I see... You actually wrote a post. Mouses Peepers! Didn't anyone ever tell you that the most important part of bloggin' is writing? You should be writin' posts all the time.
So before yesterday, when was the last time you posted? July, you say. Nah, that's not possible. July hasn't arrived yet. July is next month. Stop foolin' around. When was the last last time you posted? You mean you haven't posted since July of last year? 2013? BUT THAT WAS ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR AGO! It was like, eleven months. MOUSES!
Yes, this was my part of the conversation I had with the peep this mornin'. It was a MOUSES! moment, for sure.
For those of you who haven't heard (and apparently, there are a whole lot of you), Ol' Peepers here has a blog. She calls it "The Peep's Cheeps" although she clearly has not been doin' very much cheepin'.
Peep #1 claims that there are reasons for her lack of cheepin' and I have to agree. I have to agree that there are reasons. I don't necessarily agree with what those reasons are.
What's that Peepers? You say that you spend so much time helpin' me with my blog that you don't have time to work on your own?
NONSENSE. I write all my own stuff. I don't require your help to write my posts. What are gettin' at here?
On the other paw, I do need a little help. Just a teeny-tiny bit. I do need the peep to turn the computer on for me in the mornin' but once that's done, she's free to do as she likes. I don't need her watchin' over my shoulder, remindin' me not to start sentences with and or but or whatever. Not that I've ever been known to take her advice on such matters, anyway. But the constant nattering 'bout such things tends to be a little annoying after the first hour or so, if you know what I mean.
My gosh, I just had a thought. If Ol' Peepers were to do as much writing as she does nattering, she'd have posts comin' out of her ears! And far better that than her natterin' in mine.
What's that Peepers? Yes I know I just started a sentence with an and and let me tell you... IT WAS INTENTIONAL.
See what I mean? Nattering.
Okay, so now she's changing her story. Now the peep claims that with all the blogging I do, I'm tyin' up the computer.
Nope. Just checked. The computer cord is lying right there. No knots or anythin'. Nothin' tied up at all.
FINE. Yes, I know you actually meant that I was usin' the computer and when I'm usin' it, you can't. Well... Well these things can't be helped. I have posts to write and writing to post and when I'm not doin' that, I have pals to visit on Twitter and Facebook and the like.
And speakin' of Facebook. Did you hear? Passed twenty-five hundred likes on my fan page yesterday. NICE.
Anywho... If you need more computer time, why not do it while I'm nappin'? I nap multiple times a day, every day. Plenty of time for you to do some writing while I'm nappin', Peepers.
Now the Peep is complaining that on the rare occasion when she does get to use the computer, she has been workin' on her book so she can't work on her blog.
That's ridiculous. Firstly, I take exception to the phrase, rare occasion. Like I said, I nap daily. My nappin' schedule has nothin' to do with rarity. Secondly, I take exception to the word book as Ol' Peepers' foray into the writing of books has not yet produced a single book-like object or anything resembling what could be placed upon a bookshelf.
I, on the other paw, have written an entire chapter that will be in a real, live - okay, it's not actually alive - book later this year. You all know 'bout that? Yup, my rescue story will be appearin' in Rescue Me: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes, bein' published by FitCat Publishing. VERY NICE.
Let me tell you, Peepers. The thing is that I, Nerissa the Cat, am the writer in this family. I'm the one with the blog that is regularly updated. I post twice a week, every week. Apparently, you're lucky if you post twice a year. MOUSES!
What? What are you goin' on about now, Peepers? So now you're claiming that you don't have time to work on your blog 'cause any time you do get with the computer, you're using to write your book and even that time is bein' interrupted by my recent forays down to the end of the driveway. You're sayin' that my visitin' the end of the driveway is upsettin' you 'cause it's so close to the road and that the road is dangerous and seeing me there makes you feel the need to get up and leave the computer to come rescue me.
But Peepers, that's where the chipmunks live. You know those two chippies I brought home the other day? Remember how I blogged about them on Wednesday? Well, the chippy colony has set up camp in that big ol' oak tree at the end of the driveway and I'd be ever-so-remiss if I were to ignore their invitations to visit. How else am I gonna bring any of 'em home?
Besides, I don't actually go onto the road. I just hang out by the oak tree and I can always duck behind said tree if I see someone with a big dog, or somethin', coming. It's a big tree. Lots of space behind it for hiding.
Let me tell you. If it's not one thing, it's another. The peep is just full of excuses 'bout her lack of bloggin' but you and I know the truth. The TRUTH is that Ol' Peepers' lack of bloggin' is due to a lack of bloggin' skills. She's just not up to it.
Hmmm... Perhaps I should write a few posts for the peep. You know, to help her out a bit. She certainly is in need of the help. Yes, that's an idea. I could write a post here and there. Make sure she posts at least quarterly. Maybe even monthly.
A post a year... MOUSES! Never heard anything like it. And she calls herself a writer. TRIES to call herself a writer, is more like it. Once more I must say, MOUSES! 'cause you know... it's a MOUSES! moment, for sure.