Wednesday, 4 February 2015

stupid groundhog

How much snow could a snowplough plough if a snowplough could plough snow?  Actually, quite a lot.  All depends upon how much snow you have to plough, you see, and lately, we've had quite a lot.

With three major snowstorms in a week and number four arrivin' sometime tomorrow, we've got the white stuff comin' out of our ears. And when I say comin' our of our ears, I mean, it's literally comin' out of our ears.  I went outside this mornin' for my daily constitutional and when I returned twenty-seven seconds later, there was snow comin' out of my ears.  It got in there when I accidentally brushed past a three foot wall of snow Peep #1 had created while shovellin' a path from the back door to the car.  MOUSES!

There's white stuff all over the place.  It's here.  It's there.  It's everywhere.  Everywhere you look, there's white stuff.  Again I must say, MOUSES!

And let me tell you, my friends, I know exactly who to blame for all this snow...  Shubenacadie Sam.  That ol' groundhog came out of his den on Monday mornin' and went and saw his shadow. Stupid groundhog.

It's all a matter of timin', you see.  That darned marmot came out to greet his waitin' public on Monday mornin'.  On Monday mornin', it was sunny.  No wonder he saw his shadow.  By late Monday afternoon, it was snowin'.  Snowin' and blowin'.  Had he come out then, there would have been no shadow to see.  Leave it to a groundhog to have a workin' alarm clock and not sleep in on Groundhog Day.  MOUSES!

Because of this shadow spottin', we're lookin' at another six weeks of winter.  SIX MORE WEEKS.  Six more weeks of cold and snow and more cold and more snow and then even more cold and even more snow.  Repeatin' the same thing over and over and over again.  It's gonna be like Groundhog Day every day.  It's like we're stuck in a temporal causality loop or somethin'.  MOUSES!

Or maybe not...

I read somewhere that Shubenacadie Sam's weather predictions aren't all that accurate.  On one site, a thirty-seven percent accuracy rate was bein' bandied about.  Thirty-seven percent, huh? That's really not all that great.  Sure, probably about the same as Environment Canada's but it leaves quite a lot of wiggle room, if you know what I mean.

Doin' the math we find find that a thirty-seven percent accuracy rate is the same as a sixty-three percent inaccuracy rate which means that if Shubenacadie Sam is predictin' six more weeks of winter, we have a sixty-three percent chance of an early spring. Now I like that math, for sure!

How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog would hog ground? A lot!  They're very territorial, I hear.

Plus, they build these massive underground mansions for themselves. Every burrow even has its own bathroom chamber.  Bathroom chambers!  All I have is a litter box.  MOUSES!

I read somewhere that some of 'em even build more than one residence.  I'm thinkin' they must get a builders' discount or somethin' on account of their buildin' their burrows, themselves.

You know, instead of settin' up multiple households, maybe some of those groundhogs should work on buildin' themselves a more accurate weather forecasting station.  Just thinkin'...  Just ponderin' the measly thirty-seven percent weather forecasting accuracy rate and thinkin' aloud.

But I'm probably just whistlin' dixie, thinkin' those whistle pigs might come up with some better accuracy rates for their weather forecastin' businesses.  MOUSES!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?  Not much. Actually, none at all.  Woodchucks don't chuck wood, you see.

And since groundhogs are woodchucks, they don't chuck wood, either.  Guess that's why they build their burrows underground.  No wood required.

But if they were to start buildin' their dens above ground, they could put in a nice brick or stone fireplace.  Add a little romantic touch to their perhaps-not-so-humble abodes.  You know, settin' the mood for matin' season and all.

Apparently, in February the male groundhogs come out of hibernation, lookin' to see where the lady groundhogs have set up their burrows.   They're stakin' out the territory, gettin' ready for matin' season.  The ladies sleep in.

I've almost gotta feel sorry for the little guys.  At least for the celebrity ones who are in the limelight.  I mean, you wake up early on Groundhog Day mornin', gettin' ready to head outside and see where the ladies are livin' and the next thing you know, the paparazzi is there!  They're starin' at you and takin' pictures.  Cameras flashes are flashin' all over the place.  When you think about it that way, it's no wonder they head back to bed, afterwards, for a few more weeks of hibernation.

On the other paw, those celebrity groundhogs only have to work one day out to the whole year.  One day.  Out of the whole year.  SWEET.

Hmmm...  but if they're only workin' one, solitary day out of the whole year, you'd think they could do a better job of the job they do on that day.  I mean, a thirty-seven percent accuracy rate?  If you've got three hundred and sixty-four days to prepare for the test, you should at least be pullin' passin' grades, for sure.  MOUSES!

58 comments:

  1. Maybe them male Groundhogs just want to get it wrong? purrs. If they got it right more often they'd have to build above ground and have them swanky fireplaces for us girls to sit beside, and then where would it lead? more expense & less sleep for them boys, for sure. Yep, I wonder if its all down to them good old Groundhog boys wanting an easy life. purrs

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    1. I wouldn't put that past 'em, for sure! purrs

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  2. Six extra weeks of snow is a lot. Keep warm and safe.

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    1. Doin' my best. Tryin' to supervise the peeps from INSIDE as much as possible. purrs

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  3. Yous so wight Nissy. those little hogs awe a weal pain. We fink ifin we had a foo fur dinner they might change their tune next time wound and not see their shadow. MOL Be careful nex time yous go out and 'bout and stay warm.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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    1. Have 'em for dinner? As guests or as the main course? purrs

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  4. dood....de ground hog heer wooda kneaded ta shovel hiz self out oh hiz den ta see hiz shadow, we dunno if him did ore knot....tho we due haza inter views postin two morrow with fill & hiz familee ...hope it stopz snowin at yur place... ♥♥♥

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    1. It snowed again. Yup, the fourth storm arrived. Not snowin' now but there's plenty of diggin' out to be done. purrs

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  5. Oh we feel for you Nissy with all that snow and snow coming out of your ears! We hope that it eases up pronto for you. Now, with theese groundhogs you make some excellent points here, bummer that your guy Sam said more winter, you need to bribe the guy with Num-Nums to get him to change his story...Stay warm and dry kitties!

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    1. I hear they like cabbage and stuff. Fine with me. Givin' ol' Shubie Sam some veggies will be no skin off my nose, for sure. purrs

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  6. Six week must seem like a long time right about now. Maybe we can all get together and share some kibble with him next year to get him to give a better answer.

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    1. Hmmm... I wonder if he likes the fanciest of the feasts... purrs

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  7. Yep, I sure agree with that stupid groundhog thing, but I did enjoy his movie!

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    1. I never saw that! Peeps did but it was before my time. Wonder if I can track it down. purrs

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  8. Replies
    1. And one never should. You KNOW all 'bout my run-ins with The Big Cheese, I am sure. purrs

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  9. Bah who believes the over grown rat. Let's bbq it and warm everything up

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  10. Hailey is happy to come over and eat this groundhog. Stay warm and safe.

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    1. I'll send her the teleportation coordinates, ASAP. purrs

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  11. Mischief & Mayhem Central - Etude4 February 2015 at 21:41

    Nissy... did you ever get the snow out of your ears? I must say that you've made us all giggle and guffaw and ROFL and it was quite a sight to watch Grammy... not one I would advise you travel to see though. She does look a bit ridiculous bordering on frightening. Well, long comment short - Great Blog AGAIN!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yeah, what didn't fall out, melted. purrs

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  12. Dad saw a photo of a cat on Facebook today with only its ears and tail above the snow. Poor fella. We hate all those stoopy marmots who saw their shadow, and we feel sorry for efurrybuddy buried in the yucky white stuff. We haven't had much snow this year (yippee!), but it has been way too cold for our liking. Stay warm. Hope this next storm does not materialize for you. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    1. There's white stuff everywhere. White stuff is all that I can see! purrs

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  13. Oh yeah, we're a little miffed at that groundhog, too. We're so ready for spring. Hang in there, Nissy!

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    1. Spring can't come soon enough! purrs

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  14. Snow out your ears- that is awful. I think you should stay inside until it is all gone. Those ground hogs are useless at weather forecasting. I do like your idea of groundhogs living above ground with a fireplace.

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    1. Yeah, I'm thinkin' that then they could take up wood chuckin'. purrs

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  15. Yep...stupid groundhog!
    Enough already!

    Noodle and crew

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  16. Thayt groundhog was stupid to even think about coming out of his den...sheesh..wouldn't he want an early spring so he can eat all the yummy things a dude like him needs??

    Stay warm and safe! We have too much snowy junk too...sigh...

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    1. Well that's what I would do, for sure. purrs

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  17. I think that groundhog is about as good a forecaster as most radiologists - which means his opinion does not count for much!

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    1. Yup, you can say THAT again. Sometimes they even get the CURRENT temperature wrong. MOUSES! purrs

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  18. Never trust a groundhog......how accurate would WE be if someone pulled us out of our napping spot when we're half awake and expected an ACCURATE statement about anything???!!! I kinda feel bad for the little dudes.....but winter is definitely still here for a while - PERIOD!

    Hugs, Sammy

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    1. You've got white stuff, too, Sammy? Seems to be an epidemic of sorts. MOUSES! purrs

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  19. That must be very uncomfortable to have snow coming out of your ears. Those groundhogs have a lot to answer for, and that Shubenacadie Sam isn't doing much of a job if he only gets it right 37% of the time.

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    1. Yup, it's a failin' grade, for sure. purrs

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  20. I agree, and put full blame on that darn groundhog!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. Maybe if he used whisk technology, he could whisk into the future to see when spring would arrive and then whisk back to let us all know. purrs

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  21. Groundhog or not, we is gonna have winter for at least 8-10 weeks cause we live in Saskatchewan and winter likes it here! You is furry brave Nerissa to go out in the snow, we hopes you got it out of your ears.

    Mom bean says she hopes the snow quits falling there soon. But she doesn't want it here either.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    1. It snowed again yesterday. It's like Groundhog Day every day. MOUSES! purrs

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  22. Well Nissy,
    Balzac Billy did NOT see his shadow this year and mes has been doing the happy dance! Last year he did and wes had LOTS of snow in May, a little in June and then a huge dump in September!
    Yous can keeps the snow!
    Kisses yo yous and your siblings and your Mommy, Nissy
    Nellie

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    1. Snow in May? AND JUNE? That's scary. We had better not have any of that goin' on here. MOUSES! purrs

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  23. We have Phil the Groundhog down here in PA and I wonder if his prognosticating skills are a shabby as Shubenacadie Sam... Hold on a cat picking their feet minute here... maybe see the similaritude of Shabby and Shubenacadie! Caught that right off. Seems like some shucking of the chucking is going one way down in the underground.

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    1. Even more similar than you might think 'cause peeps often shorten Shubenacadie to Shubie. Shabby... Shubie... Hmmm... purrs

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  24. You're right, Nissy. Never trust rodents. Purrs

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    1. Yup, it's a fact, for sure. purrs

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  25. I like that 67% inaccuracy statistic, Nissy. I am ready for winter to be DONE!

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    1. Yup, me too. Hopin' Sam stays true to form and managed to get it wrong, again. purrs

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  26. We're 167% done with winter and bracing for more snow. Only Odin is happy as a husky.

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    1. Totally with you on the bein' done with winter bit. When will it all end? purrs

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  27. Best to just look out side to see what the weather is doing Nissy ,so much easier,xx Speedy

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    1. Lookin' outside right now, it's - you guessed it - snowin'. MOUSES! purrs

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  28. I question the smarts of those peeps who think ground hogs can predict weather... There's more of that white stuff coming tomorrow. Mouses indeed!
    xxoo
    Maggie

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    1. It's the year of the never-endin' white stuff, for sure. MOUSES! purrs

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  29. I have decided that I actually feel badly for those ground hogs. What a lousy deal they get. One day, cameras flashing and then nuttin'...not even a cabbage to call their own...bummer

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  30. He's a rodent and Peeps are expecting him to predict the weather??? There is something wrong with that.....Hope you don't have six more weeks of snow Nissy. We will keep our paws crossed that you don't.
    Luvs
    Marty

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