Showing posts with label peppers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peppers. Show all posts

Wednesday, 8 May 2024

picture it


Picture it: my house; couple days ago; total craziness, for sure.


MOUSES!


So it all started early Monday mornin' when Peepers put the heat on, upstairs.  She cranked it way, WAY up...


Okay, so she turned it up just a bit.  'Cause it was chilly, you see.  I didn't find it cold, of course, on account of my havin' such luxurious marmalade furs.  But peeps bein' peeps, are furless, you see.  They're more likely to feel the cold.



MOUSES!


So anyway...


So anyway, Peepers turned the heat up just a tad, so that it would be warm in the house whilst we all had our brekkies and whatnot, before the sun warmed everythin' up.


Well!


Well no sooner had she turned up the heat but weird noises ensued.  There was tappin' and bangin'.  A metallic soundin' sound which was a VERY noisy noise, to be be sure.


It sounded like the hot water pipes that heat up the house were vibratin' this way and that, bangin' and crashin', and...


Okay, so more bangin' than crashin', but still...


But still, it was super scary, to be sure.


MOUSES!


Now thinkin' those hot water pipes might burst or quite frankly, just blow the mouses up, Peepers ran to turn the heatin' system right off.  She ran down to the basement to check on the furnace, then back up to upstairs.  Then onto the main floor in the kitchen.  And even though the furnace was now off, the tappin' and bangin' and whatnot continued.  Not non-stop, mind you, but every now and then we'd hear that metallic soundin' peckin', and...


And THAT'S when Peepers thought to herself: that peckin' kinda tappin' noise sounds vaguely familiar to me.


Hmmm...


So she did some investigatin' and do you know what she found?


Well!


Well, there were absolutely no noises in the basement near the furnace.  None whatsoever.  Lots of noises upstairs, but really, mainly at only the one end of the house.  And the noises were the loudest in the kitchen, of all places.  The kitchen!


Hmmm...


Yup, the noises were the loudest in the kitchen, right next to the itsy bitsy teeny weeny chimney.  The chimney we never use 'cause it used to be hooked up to a small wood stove the peeps had removed.  It just sits there, that ol' chimney does, occupyin' space.  Space that could be put to far better use, I suspect, but who knows, maybe it's actually holdin' up the house.


Maybe.


But anyway...


But anyway, Peepers then had one of her rare - VERY rare, I might add - moments of brilliance, and outta the house she ran.


NO, she wasn't fleein' an impendin' disaster.


I don't think.


Well outta the house ol' Peepers ran, as fast as her tootsies would travel.  Once out on the deck, she looked up.  Way, WAY up.  And what did she see?


A STUPID OL' WOODPECKER, peckin' or tappin' or doin' whatever woodpeckers do, on the metal cover that protects the top of that chimney.


MOUSES!


And so it went on, all mornin' and into the afternoon.  Every now and then, that ol' woodpecker would fly off but then he'd be back, and the noises would noisy up the whole house once more as he'd start woodpeckerin' all over again.


Apparently, the start of the noises with the turnin' on of the furnace was merely a coincidence.


MOUSES!


But later that day...


Later that day, whilst bringin' in her plants that had spent time outside on the deck, Peepers discovered a big ol' white stain on a pepper.


Yup, there was woodpecker poop on Peepers' potted pepper.  


Try sayin' THAT five times, quickly.


MOUSES!


The good news is, the heatin' system is fine.  The bad news is, two days later and I'm STILL hearin' her complain 'bout that bird poop.  Personally, I think she should be thankful the poop was on a potted pepper plant and not on a peep named Peppers.


I mean, Peepers.


MOUSES!


*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

Wednesday, 20 March 2024

up to her old tricks


So I walked into my office the other night, and...


Yeah, that's right, it's MY office.  MY domain.  MY special place where I rule, and...


Okay, so actually, I rule ALL OVER the house but that's neither here not there.  The point is, the office is mine and in MY office, I am the law.


At least I'm supposed to be.


And for the most part, I am.


And...


Oh, never mind that.  The thing is, I, Seville the Cat, walked into MY office the other night, and looked all around only to find...


A mess.  A big ol' mess.  The messiest of messes.  It was...


It was a right ol' mess, to be sure.


MOUSES!


There was pottin' mix all over the floor.  Bits scattered here and there.  Pretty much everywhere.  To tell you the truth, it was hard for me to even see the floor.  You know, on account of all the pottin' mix strewn about, and...


What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?


FINE.  So apparently, there was maybe a pawful or two of that pottin' mix scattered about on the floor.  Probably not even enough to warrant the vacuum bein' brought out.  Probably just a broom would do.


But nevertheless...


THERE WAS POTTIN' MIX ALL OVER MY OFFICE FLOOR.


MOUSES!


Plus, there was water.  It looked like a flood!  Yeah, it looked like there had been a flood in there of Biblical proportions.  There was water, everywhere.


What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?


FINE.  Apparently, there was maybe a teaspoon or two.


But nevertheless...


THERE WAS WATER ALL OVER MY OFFICE FLOOR.


MOUSES!


And as I looked about the room that appeared to have been ransacked by a horde or maraudin' somethin' or others immediately prior, durin', or after a great flood that had washed up copious amounts of pottin' soil; that's when I realised...


That's when I realised...


THAT'S when I realised...


PEEPERS WAS UP TO HER OLD TRICKS, ONCE MORE.


MOUSES!


You see, as spring is upon us, ol' Peepers is pottin' up plants.  Pepper plants, to be exact.  Yup, that's right, I'm talking 'bout Peepers pottin' up a her pepped-up plants.  Namely, her peppers.


AND SHE'S POTTING 'EM UP IN MY OFFICE.


 And makin' a mess of the floor.


MOUSES!


Oh sure, she tidied everythin' up, later.


But I heard she'll be pottin' up more.


All over MY office floor.


MOUSES!


I'm tellin' ya, some peeps have no respect for a kitty's space.  If anyone is gonna make a mess in my office, it's gonna be me.  Who the mouses does she think she is, makin' a mess in MY office?


Thanks-be-to-goodness it was only pottin' soil,  'cause let me tell you somethin', my friends: if Peepers starts makin' litter box type messes all over my floor...


*stares straight ahead, eyes wide in horror*


MOUSES!


*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.


Wednesday, 10 May 2023

peter piper


Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peepers.


Scratch that.  There's no such thing as a pickled peep.


Unless, of course, said peep were to be high on the nip.


MOUSES!


Nope, I think it was peppers.  Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled PEPPERS.


Yup, that sounds way better, for sure.


MOUSES!


On the other paw...


On the other paw, what's a cat like me gonna do with a peck of pickled peppers?  A peep, pickled or not, is of far more use than peppers.  After all, peeps have opposeable thumbs whereas peppers don't have any thumbs, at all.


I don't think.


MOUSES!


But anyway...


But anyway, I don't know who this Peter guy is and I don't particularly care why he was pickin' some peppers.  In fact, like I implied earlier, I don't care 'bout peppers at all.  I don't even care 'bout the pots of peppers Peepers has growin'.  I mean, they're peepers!  What the mouses is a cat gonna do with peppers?  They're...  They're...  They're...  THEY'RE PEPPERS!


MOUSES!


But do you know what I do care about, my friends?  Do you know what I really, really care about a lot?


NIP.


Yup, I care very much about the nip.


MOUSES!


And speakin' of catnip...


And speakin' of catnip, I was out and about the other day, inspectin' my pots of the nip.  Checkin' in on 'em.  Makin' sure they were healthy.  Lookin' for signs of distress.  You know, that sorta thing.


And while I was checkin' on my pots of catnip, what did I find?


Well...


Well I found a certain butt-sized indentation right in the midst of one of my pots of the nip.


MOUSES!


My first thought was, of course, WHAT THE MOUSES WAS PEEPERS THINKIN', SITTIN' IN THE MIDST OF MY VERY PRECIOUS POTS OF THE NIP?  WHAT WAS SHE THINKIN'?  WAS SHE THINKIN' AT ALL?


But then I took a closer look at that indentation and thought to myself, no, that can't be right.  Peepers' butt is way bigger than that.


MOUSES!


And THEN I thought....


Well that's 'bout the time I thought I might wanna go get nipped on account of my bein' so stressed out by the fact that SOMEONE had gone and sat right in the midst of my potted catnip plants and left a big ol' stupid indentation where they had sat.


So long story short...


Kinda.


So long story short, after I got nipped, I got the munchies and had to go find myself a snack.  And as snacks required on account of nip-induced munchies will do, said snack made me sleepy so I had to have a nap.


And after wakin' up from my nap...


After wakin' up from my nap, I went to investigate the strange indentation in my catnip plants, once more.


And that's when I saw...


That's when I saw one of my neighbourhood kitty pals sittin' right in the middle of my best potted catnip plant, munchin' away on my catnip, gettin' high as a kite on the nip.


So I immediately raced indoors 'cause I figured I had best go hide all the snacks.  'Cause after eatin' as much nip as he looked like he had eaten, I was bettin' he was gonna have a bad case of the munchies, for sure.


MOUSES!


*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!