update is complete

Hey ho, Sivvers the Cat here, ready with the latest update.

Update is 88% complete.  Please do not turn off your computer.

That's not the kinda update I meant.

MOUSES!

So we're still one-paw typin', the peep and I, and yeah, IT STILL SUCKS.

MOUSES!

And then, as if that weren't enough, Saffron showed up the day before last with a sore left paw, too!

IT'S LIKE THERE'S AN EPIDEMIC GOIN' ON.

MOUSES!

Thankfully, Saffron's paw appears to be all better now.  Peepers thinks maybe she was stung by a bee or bitten by an ant or somethin' like that.

I'm tellin' ya, if any of my aunts were to bite me on the paw, there'd be mousin' heck to pay, for sure.

MOUSES!

But now for more on the Saffron front: Saffron touched Peepers' hand with her nose, the other day.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

I know, it is hard to believe.  I mean, just where had the peep's hand been prior to bein' touched?  Was it clean?  Was she sure?  That's risky business, that is, touchin' a peep's hand.  You never know what kinda peep germs those peeps might have.

MOUSES!

But yeah, Peepers held out her right paw as she was puttin' Saffron's brekkie dishes out on the veranda, and Saffron must have been crazy delusional or somethin' like that from hunger, 'cause she came right over and sniffed the peep's paw.

It was a celebratory event, for sure.

I imbibed in a little of the nip, myself.

MOUSES!

But that's not all!  Nope, there's more news on the Saffron front, for sure.

That kitty has no shame, I tell you.  No shame!  She rolls on her back and shows her belly now, even when the peep is outside.  SHE EXPOSES HER BELLY!  Peepers says it's a big deal havin' Saffron trust her enough to expose her belly like that.  I say, she's nothin' but a shameless hussy, but...

Yeah, yeah...  Quit your gripin', Peepers.  Callin' my sister-possibly-brother-to-be a shameless hussy isn't an insult, at all.

It's more like a fact.

Oh, and the other day, when Saffy - I call her Saffy sometimes, BUT NEVER TO HER FACE - was rollin' around on her back on one of the veranda chairs like the shameless hussy she is, that darn cat...  Well...  Well she rolled right off the chair, she did.

That's what you get for shameless hussying, you see.

MOUSES!

And in other Saffy news...

Saffron has a pal.  Yup, big orange dude with a fluffy tail, but only moderately fluffy everywhere else.  Oh, and he's got a blotch of white on the side of his nose.  Peepers says he's a good lookin' guy, but what does she know?  He's CERTAINLY not as good lookin' as me.

Not even close.

MOUSES!

Word on the street is, this orange fellow has a home.  He does, however, like to visit after Saffron has had her brekkies and eat up whatever she's left.

She gets the fanciest of the feasts, you see.

Not to mention kibble laced with temptin' treats.

Not that she leaves any of those treats behind, mind you.  Believe me, I know: I've checked, on more than one occasion.  Saffron is what you might call an eat-your-dessert-first kinda gal, I believe.

Although she may be a guy.  As you all know, and as evidenced by my late sisters Tobias and Mason; and my late brothers Nerissa, Desdemona, and Calista; Peepers' boy-girl cat identification skills are somewhat lackin'.

MOUSES!

But anyway...

But anyway, that's my update all complete.

Guess it's safe to turn off the computer now.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

I got probs

Please excuse the poor grammar, my friends, but like I said...

I GOT PROBS!

In other words, I have BIG problems, for sure.

MOUSES!

So it's like this:  Due to technical difficulties, I shall be off-line until further notice.  I will be unable to check in on Facebook and Twitter, and unable to approve comments on my blog.

Okay, so you may have already noticed I HAVE BEEN off-line since Tuesday night.  I shall continue to be off-line until tomorrow or Tuesday.

The problem is...

I GOT PROBS!

And my biggest problem is the peep.

MOUSES!

It all started with the Windows 10 upgrade...

...WHICH PEEPERS NEVER DID.

MOUSES!

Well the deadline for goin' from seven to ten was this past week.  Meanwhile, the peep got me a new computer.  It was time.  My old one was pretty old and probably all clogged up with cat hair and stuff, anyway.

And the new computer was gonna have the new Windows 10 already on it.

But all the pictures of me and my book and stuff had to be transferred from the old computer to the new one, and the computer store is pretty far away from my house, and it's winter in Canada and roads are bad, and...

And MEANWHILE, the phone stopped workin'.  Likely on account of the freezin' rain and ice we had on Sunday.

That didn't help.

So the phone peeps are comin' tomorrow to fix the phone line, and hopefully set up my new computer, too, which Peepers is pickin' up - well by the time this post goes live it'll have been PICKED up - with all my files transferred onto it on Saturday.  I figure if I purr really nicely at the phone guy and maybe rub up against him and give him a little tickle with my whiskers, I can get him to set up the computer for me...

...'CAUSE YOU KNOW PEEPERS WILL NEVER FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT.

And in case you're wonderin' how you're able to read this post without my bein' able to be on-line, it's 'cause I spent last Tuesday furiously workin' away on posts for Wednesday and today, then scheduled 'em to publish automatically.  HOPEFULLY - paws crossed - by this comin' Wednesday, everythin' will be sorted.  But if not, I WILL BE BACK.  I just don't know exactly when.

MOUSES!
 
I'm tellin' ya, I have THE WORST IT SUPPORT in the history of IT support.

Oh sure, Peepers can spell and stuff - KINDA, as long as the words she's spellin' aren't too long  - and she's okay with helpin' me with editin', but when it comes to bein' IT support, she's about as useless as an ice cube at the north pole.

Or a hot water bottle in a sauna.

Or a...

Well you get the picture, I am sure.

MOUSES!

whatcha doin'?

Whatcha doin' there, Peepers?  Writing something?  Anything that might be of interest to me?

Mouses Peepers, you've written absolutely nothing.  That there is what one would call a blank screen.  Blank as in, you know... blank.  Got nothing on it at all.

What am I talking about?  Actually, I think you mean about what am I talking but that aside, I'm referring to that ol' blank computer screen sitting there in front of you.  I hate to say it but you've got nothing but screen.

Now I know, if you were playing basketball or something and you had nothing but net, that might be a good thing but that's an entirely different matter, if you know what I mean.  MOUSES!

So anyway, Peepers, you need some help?  Let me go get my fee schedule for you and then we'll talk.  MOUSES!

Now first things first, Peepers.  Before you do anything else you need to put your paws on the keyboard and prepare yourself for typing.  You need to have paws at the ready, so to speak, for when inspiration hits you.  That's right, Lady Inspiration is gonna hit you and then you're gonna start hitting those keys.  That's how we professional writers do it, you see.

Secondly, close your eyes.  That's right, Peepers, close your eyes and wait for Lady Inspiration to strike

By the way, Peepers...  Perhaps I should have asked this first but uh...  You do know how to type with your eyes closed, right?  You do?  Excellent.  Not that it would matter much anyway considering how little you've typed.

What's that, Peepers?  Don't blame ME.  I'm not the one sitting there in front of a computer with a blank screen.  Clearly you have typed absolutely nothing and the proof is right there in front of you, in the form of that there screen with nothing on it.  MOUSES!

Peepers, would you like me to get you a cup of nip tea or something?  I find my writing is much better after having imbibed in a little nip, myself.  You think a little nip tea would help you, too, 'cause judging by that blank screen, you're in need of all the help you can get and...

Mason, stop distracting Peep #1 with your incessant questions about whatever you're questioning her.  She needs to concentrate on her writing, here, if she's ever gonna get anything done.

Okay Peepers, now we wait.  Yup, now we sit and wait.  We wait for Lady Inspiration to make an appearance.

Er-hmm...  Anything yet, Peepers?  I don't see your fingers moving.  You haven't typed a single word. Not even a letter.  Not even a punctuation mark or anything.  MOUSES!

We'll just wait a little longer then.

Anything now, Peepers?  Anything at all?

Peepers?  PEEPERS?  PEEPERS!!!  You still awake there, Peepers?  Just checking.

By gosh, it never takes me this long to come up with something about which to write.  I come up with a blog post twice a week, every week, and I can say with utmost certainty that I have never - EVER - taken this long to come up with a post.  Hmmm...

Peepers, anyone ever tell you you're not really cut out for this writing thing?  'Cause if no one else has told you, I might....

Peepers!  It's working!  Lady Inspiration has arrived.  The screen is...

Wait a minute.  Why is the computer screen going all dark and...

WHAT DID YOU DO?  That's my computer you're using and you've gone and...

Oh.  Oh?  What the mouses?  Uh Peepers, how come the computer is shutting down?  That's what the computer does when it shuts down.  How come it's doing that?  You haven't done any of your writing yet.

Really?  Well why the mouses did you not say that before?  For mousin' out loud.  MOUSES!

Next time when you've finished all your writing for the day and saved the file and are shutting the computer down when I come into the office Peepers, let me know BEFORE I waste all this time helping you write whatever you've already finished writing, okay?  My time could have been far better spent biffing a nippy biff bag around or something like that.  Actually, my time could have been far better spent taking a nap or pretty much anything else.  Truth be told, my time would have been better spent watching a bug sitting on a window - not that we have any bugs on windows at this time of year but still...  Suffice it to say, it would save a whole lot of effort on my part if I didn't need to help you when you're not actually in need of my help.

Not that you don't need my help.  I mean, you do tend to need my help on a daily basis, Peepers, especially when it comes to writing but still...

Just be sure that next time you speak up before we repeat what happened here.  No more repeat performances of this are allowed.  Okay?  Okay.  Now I think I'll go find myself a nip mouse or something 'cause let me tell you, I really need a nip mouse right about now and that, Peepers, is a fact, for sure.  MOUSES!