ninety weeks

Now let's see...

There are seven days in a week...

Carry the one...

Three, four, five...  Other paw...  Six, seven...

Multiply the whole shebang by nine, and...

MOUSES!  That's a whole lotta cat seconds, for sure.  Four hundred and eighty-nine million, eight hundred and eighty-eight thousand of 'em, to be exact.

Give or take a few.

But like I said, MOUSES!

Yup, so the peeps and I have been dealin' with this ol' pandemic thingy here now for four hundred and eighty-nine million, eight hundred and eighty-eight thousand cat seconds; and I can tell you with absolute certainty that it's a whole lot harder on me than it is on them.  'Cause you know how it is, right?  Spendin' time with ME is pure and unadulterated JOY, so the peeps havin' to spend the last ninety weeks with me has been nothin' but a PLEASURE and PRIVILEGE for them.  Why, it's probably like bein' on vacation!

I, on the other paw...

Well my havin' to spend ninety weeks cooped up with a couple of good-for-nothin' peeps has been anythin' BUT pleasurable, for sure.

MOUSES!

And let me tell you somethin' else: Saffron agrees.

Kinda.

Sorta.

Maybe.

No, he's not inside yet.  But Peepers picks him up OUTSIDE all the time, now.  And when she does, she holds him tight and warms his paws and snuggles him and smothers him in kisses.

And she wonders why the cat refuses to come inside.

MOUSES!

The thing is...

The thing is, when peeps get bored, peeps persistently pester us unsuspectin' cats.  Yup, they grab us and cuddle us and cover us in kisses.  They get their ol' peep germs all over our beautiful furs.  It's totally disgusting and gross.  Generally speakin', those peeps are a pain in the...

Tail.

MOUSES!

And Saffron isn't helpin' matters, either.  That cat actually purrs when the peep gives him kisses.  That's right, he PURRS!

Silly ol' cat.

Then he squirms.  Squirms right outta her arms.  But the purrin' prior to the squirmin' sends mixed messages to the peep, and if there's one thing peeps don't understand, it's mixed messagin'.  I've tried to explain this to Saffron but so far it's done no good.  He's still purrin' when Peepers first picks him up.

Well just wait 'til he IS indoors.  That cat keeps purrin' like that and he's gonna end up smothered like no cat has ever been smothered in kisses before, for sure.  Death by a hundred kisses, or somethin' like that.

Oohhh...  That would be a good name for a book.  I must keep it in mind.

But back to the peep and her kisses.  Peepers keeps this up and in all likelihood, she's gonna get a good smacky-paw or two.  A peep can't keep accostin' a cat like that without some kinda retribution comin' her way.

*scratches behind an ear*

Perhaps I should remind Peepers what a smacky-paw feels like.  You know, so she's not too surprised when Saffron decides he's had enough of her kisses.  'Cause you know that's gonna happen, for sure.

What do you think?  Should I smack the ol' peep or not?

I'm sure she has it comin' for SOMETHIN'.  Peeps usually do.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

he's in!

HE'S IN!

He's out...

MOUSES!

So this mornin' was a pretty typical mornin', my friends.  Peepers fed Saffron out on the veranda as per usual, and spent some quality time with him out there.

Just to clarify, quality time includes some talkin', some pettin', some ear scritches and chin tickles, and stuff.  It also includes a return to the kitchen for more treats.

TWICE.

MOUSES!

So when in the kitchen gettin' the first lot of second treats...

That make sense?  It was his second lot of treats, but his first lot after the initial brekkies were served.

MOUSES!

So anyway, Peepers went as slowly as she could in the kitchen, even goin' so far as to make herself a cup of tea, and left the front door open while doin' so.  When she returned with the first lot of seconds, who was in the livin' room, but...

SAFFRON!

MOUSES!

Well Saffron took one look at the peep and skedaddled right outta there.

Not that I blame him, mind you.  He saw the state of the peep's hair.

MOUSES!

So the peep spent some more QUALITY time with him before goin' in for his SECOND lot of second treats.  Again, she took her time doin' so and when she returned...

Saffron was back in the livin' room again!

AND again, after catchin' a glimpse of the wild-woman's hair, he ran back outside like a bat outta...

You know.

MOUSES!

Well some more quality time was spent out on the veranda and Saffron had pretty much had his fill of treats - which is kinda amazin' on account of his seemingly bein' a bottomless pit when it comes to said treats - and Peepers told him she was goin' back inside, but would leave the front door open.  Just in case he wanted back in, you see.

Well 'bout half an hour later, Peepers returned and found no sign of my soon-to-be brother so she closed and locked the front door.

But later on this mornin'...

Later this mornin', she happened to find...

Later this mornin', Peepers happened to find one dark charcoal grey kitty hangin' out in the livin' room agaiin!

So an extra litter box was quickly set up, providin' Saffron with his own private commode, and the peep left him to his own devises.  He didn't appear TOO upset at the time...

Of course, Peepers later found a window screen in the sunroom down, plus a bunch of other stuff knocked over, so I'm pretty sure Saffy Saffron Saffers had been in there, frantically wantin' out.

A little while after that - 'bout half an hour ago, or so - Saffron was cryin' outside my office door.  The peep went to him and found him really anxious and upset.  He was trapped and he knew it and didn't like it one bit.  He tore into the sunroom, brought the window screen down again - 

CLEARLY, Peepers hadn't done a very good job in puttin' it back up.

- And Peepers found him cowering and cryin' in the corner, behind one of the chairs.

So she opened the back door and Saffron ran out.

Stupid peep.

Time will tell, the peep says.   As long as when Saffron returns tomorrow mornin' - or later today - things pick up as before, then we're a whisker's length shy of gettin' that cat indoors.  Gettin' him in and at the same time feelin' comfortable around the peeps, that is.

I'm pretty sure he WILL be back.

That cat really likes his fuds and treats, you see.

Especially the treats!

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

eighty weeks

Eighty weeks.

Eighty. Long. Weeks.

MOUSES!

That's right, my friends, we've been in the throes of this ol' pandemic thingy now for eighty long weeks.

Or in other words...

...four hundred and thirty-five million, four hundred and fifty-six thousand cat seconds, that is.

MOUSES!

But we have other stuff to talk about today.

Did you know that even though Saffron is not yet livin' inside with me, he has made some super-duper progress regardin' his relationship with the peeps?

Oh yeah.

FACT.

MOUSES!

This time last year, whenever Peepers opened the front door to take out his fuds, Saffron would run.  Yup, he'd hightail it to the far end of the veranda at the very sight of her.  Actually, the far end of the veranda wasn't far enough!  Nope, he'd go through the railing, so that he'd have the security of havin' said railin' between himself and the peep.

FACT.

MOUSES!

NOW though, when Peepers opens the front door to take out his fuds, he actually jumps down from the chair he's on and COMES RUNNIN' TO HER.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

MOUSES!

And...

And he lets her pet him and give him chin scritches and behind the ear tickles and everythin'.

FACT.

MOUSES!

Well, not quite everythin'.  Peepers isn't yet allowed to pick him up.

Oh, SHE'S BEEN TRYIN', all right, but Saffron is not into the pickin' up thing, at all.

Nope.  No sirree.  Peepers goes to pick him up and he gets all squirmy wormy, tryin' to get down.

But sometimes...

Sometimes he'll let her pick up just his front paws, but his back paws have to stay on the ground at all times.  And if Peepers gives him some good behind the ear scritches or chin tickles while holdin' up those front paws, he allows it to continue for maybe half a minute or so.

But then he wants back down.

And do you know what he does after that?

Do you?

Didn't think you did.

Well, after that...

HE EATS.

Yup, he eats and eats and eats.

And then he eats even more!

Saffron says he's pretty sure that if he eats enough kibble and treats, he'll be too heavy for this business with bein' picked up.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.