Last week, we had a bit of a celebration. Yup, we had a bit of a celebration, for sure. January 7th was Saffron's Gotcha Day, you see.
MOUSES!
And all this Gotcha Day stuff got me to thinkin'.
And you all know what happens when I think.
Don't say it, Peepers. Don't even THINK it.
MOUSES!
But anyway...
But anyway, what I was thinkin' was that Saffy's Gotcha Day might explain how he's gettin' a little...
Well...
Uh.
Umm.
Now how do I say this without bein' mean?
Hmmm...
Okay, so I won't actually SAY it. I'll just happen to elude to his middle-age spread.
MOUSES!
Yes, Saffy. YES. We call that middle-age spread.
What?
You are NOT ONLY three-years-old.
MOUSES!
No, Saffy. NO. Tuesday may have been your third Gotcha Day, but you did NOT turn three. You're probably more like about um... Seven.
MOUSES!
It's true! Saffy, Peepers and I sat down and we figured it all out. Three years ago, Tuesday, you came into the house. That much is true. But you'd been livin' outside, resistin' the peeps' attempts to get you inside, for a whole year-and-a-half, before that.
So three plus one-and-a-half is FOUR-and-a-half.
Which, of course, is way more than three.
PLUS, when Peepers first saw you outside, you were already fully grown. Like, FULLY grown. Lengthwise and everythin'. We think you were at least two.
So four-and-a-half plus two is SIX-and-a-half.
Way, way, way more than three.
And although possible, you probably WEREN'T born in July. More likely spring. So let's tack three or four months onto that.
Six-and-a-half years plus three or four months is umm...
Well, it's practically seven!
MOUSES!
Good grief, Saffy, my man, you're like really, REALLY old. A senior, in fact. You could probably get the seniors' discount at Shoppers! And that silvery halo all over your charcoal grey fur, you're always braggin' about? THAT'S PROBABLY JUST GREY HAIR. If you were a peep, it would be needin' to be coloured. And...
What? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
WHAT?
Oh yeah.
Hmmm....
MOUSES!
Okay, Saffron, so as explained to me by the peep, I'm technically older than you.
Way older, in fact.
SO THERE'LL BE NO MORE JOKIN' ABOUT ANYONE BEIN' OLD.
Even those who are developin' middle-age spread.
'Cause maybe it's just from bein' inside. I mean, it's hard to climb trees when it's icy and cold. And indoor zoomin' doesn't burn calories like front yard track events.
So we'll put aside all the gettin' older jokes.
And maybe a cake.
'Cause everyone knows, Gotcha Day cake NEVER contributes to middle-age spread.
MOUSES!
