It's not a thoroughfare, you know.
MOUSES!
Saffron, I SAID it's not a thoroughfare, so stop treatin' it as such.
MOUSES!
Saffy, Saffy, Saffron... That there is a um...
Well...
So it's kinda like...
Okay, FINE, I guess it is a thoroughfare, after all.
Of sorts.
MOUSES!
So here's the deal: That ol' brother of mine, Saffy Saffron Sassifras, has decided that when he wants to go to backyard from the front yard, the quickest route is straight through the house. You know, as opposed to walkin' AROUND the house like any normal cat would.
And I suppose...
And I suppose he does have a point. After all, the shortest distance between two points IS a straight line. Unless, of course, that straight line curves due to the gravitational forces exerted upon space and time by a large celestial body. Like uh.. Like the peep!
WHAT? Oh quit your gripin', woman. IT WAS TOO funny.
MOUSES!
Okay, so since there are no gravitational forces warpin' the space-time continuum in and around our house, the shortest distance between any two points is, in fact, a straight line.
Which means...
Which means that yes, the quickest way to go from the front yard to the backyard is, indeed, straight through the house.
Scratch that.
Okay, it may very well may be that the SHORTEST way to go from the front yard to the backyard is straight through the house, but it's not necessarily the quickest.
Why is it not the quickest, you ask?
Very good question, indeed.
Now remember when I said that a large celestial body could create a curvature in space-time and...
Peepers, I said it before and I'll say it again: IT WAS TOO FUNNY.
MOUSES!
And besides, Peepers, you ARE part of this here equation of mine. You know, the equation of how long it takes for Saffy to get from the front door to the back door by cuttin' through the house AND how much slower that SEEMINGLY quicker route actually is.
The thing is...
Saffy you had better hear this, too, as it definitely pertains to you.
The thing is, Peepers, in order for Saffron to get from the front yard to the backyard by goin' straight through the house, Saffron is totally dependent upon you, my dear peep, to open the door. Actually, he's totally dependent upon you openin' TWO doors. First you have to open the front door to let him in, and then you have to scoot over to the back door to open that one to let him back out.
And since your scootin' is often done at a leisurely pace...
Well since you tend to take your time scootin' to the back door, Peepers, Saffy would be way quicker to stay outside and just walk 'round the house.
What? What's that, Saffron? What's that you're sayin'?
Why yes, it IS enjoyable to keep Peepers hoppin'. And yes, it is enjoyable to see that we cats have her wrapped 'round our little claws. To see that she's totally at our beck and call and that when we want a door opened, she will come a-runnin'.
At a peep-like slow pace, that is.
But nevertheless, it is VERY enjoyable, indeed.
Hmmm...
Okay, Saffron, I do declare that the route from the front door to the back door IS a thoroughfare, now. Yup, an OFFICIAL thoroughfare, for sure.
You win, Saffron, my man. You win.
This one time.
MOUSES!
*******************************
Remember to mask up, too.
Build a tunnell under the house, you will thank me later
ReplyDeleteI understand you, Saffron. Eric used to stand on the window ledge at the back waiting to be let in, then would go straight through and out the front door. Rinse and repeat 4 or 5 times.
ReplyDeleteHey, going through the house instead of around sounds like something I would do!!!
ReplyDeleteYou two are a comedic duo: Seville and Saffy!
ReplyDeleteMOUSES! Saffy is definitely right on this one, Sivvers. That's a thoroughfare, and a good one at that! :)
ReplyDeletedoodz…we gotta say goin frum de front two de bak izza time saver
ReplyDeletefor sure, N sum timez that space and grava teez stuffz werkz two, but
bee veree care ful, a vishuz squirrel could bee hidin round de korner
waitin ta sneek in when peeperz openz de door 🙀‼️🐿
Ahha. Common sense wins the day. But maybe you should have the peep sit at the front door waiting. No, on second thoughts, that won't work cos you'd have to clone the peep so the peep, the cloned peep, could sit at the back door, too. Unless you give the first peep a whisk with which to fly across time and space - and the house - from door to door. OK, easier if you just demolish the house and build a cat thoroughfare through the remains....
ReplyDeleteToodle pips and purrs
ERin
Saffie, your intuitiveness and intellect have me dazzled! And be on the ever lookout for vishus squirrels lurking to sneak in while the doors are being opened at your behest!
ReplyDeleteGood job Saffy!
ReplyDelete