Sunday 15 October 2023

one, two, three...


One, two, three...


What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?


Countin'.  I'm countin'.


MOUSES!


Gosh darn it, now I'm gonna have to start all over again.


MOUSES!


One, two, three...


What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?


Bees.  I'm countin' bees.


MOUSES!


Gosh darn it, now I'm gonna have to start all over AGAIN.


MOUSES!


One, two, three...


OH FOR MOUSIN' OUT LOUD, PEEPERS.  WHAT ON EARTH IS IT THAT YOU'RE BABBLIN' ON ABOUT NOW?


'Cause I want to, that's why.  I wanna count bees.


MOUSES!


Now where was I?


Oh yeah, I was at...


Hmmm...


Gosh darn it, I'm gonna have to start all over AGAIN.


MOUSES!


Hmmm...


But now there isn't a single solitary bee in sight.  No bees to count, at all.  Can't even count 'em to one!


HEY PEEPERS!  I've got a bone to pick with you, I do.  I was out there in the garden countin' the number of bees there were buzzin' about, but before I could finish counting 'em all, you came along and scared 'em away.  And now I have no bees to count.  Not even one!


So...


So if you're wonderin' how many bees we still have in the garden this year, halfway through the month of October; when we don't usually have many bees, if we have any at all; you're gonna have to keep on wonderin'.


Because...


BECAUSE I WAS gonna count 'em but now that you've scared 'em away, there aren't any bees left to count.


None.


Not even one.


MOUSES!


So go ahead and ask me, Peepers.  Go ahead and ask me just how many bees there still out there in the garden even at this very late date.  Just ask.  Just ask me how many bees there are buzzin' around the dahlias and nasturtiums and calendula and borage and things.  Things THAT NORMALLY WOULDN'T still be blooming 'cept for all this mild weather we've had, and the fact there hasn't been frost.  Go ahead.  Go ahead and ask.  Just ask me, Peepers.  Just ask.


How many bees are there in the garden, today?  You'd really like to know?


NONE.


And Peepers, do you know why there are no bees out there in the garden right now?


WELL I'LL TELL YOU why, I will.  There are no bees out in the garden right now on account of your scaring 'em all away.  Scaring 'em away when I was tryin' to count 'em.  So yeah, there are none.  None as in none.  Zippo.  Not a one.


Gosh darn it, a kitty tries to help out by countin' up bees stickin' around late in the season and is thwarted by his very own peep.


Stupid peep.


NEXT TIME I go to count bees, I'm gonna get Peepers to dress up in bright colours with a fancy schmancy flowery ol' hat, smear honey all over her face, and spray stinky flower perfume on her arms and her legs.  That'll get the bees to come 'round, for sure.  That'll get 'em comin' in droves!


Might even be more bees than I can count.


Best be sure I don't flick my tail around too much and end up gettin' myself stung.


MOUSES!


*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.




8 comments:

  1. dood....ther bee noe beez heer either.....two brizk out side !!! hope yur week a headz grate !! ♥

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seriously, Seville...you were trying to count 'em?

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  3. Maybe there are some ants you could count. :)

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  4. Bee counting sure is tough when "someone" chases them off Neville. Keep trying though!

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  5. Ooh. If you're gonna have the Peep do that, you better be able to count really high, Sivvers! MOUSES!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I counted nine. Of course, that was based on three lots of bees, one, two, three. Or was that the same lot of bees each time? Anyhows, maybe give the bees a little numbered waistcoat to wear that way, you won't have to count them, just check the number. If you's gets the peep to knit them a woolly jumper, with wing holes rather than sleeves, they could carry on working through the winter!
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

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  7. We haven't had frost here yet, either. But its not really bee weather anymore, though. Stink bugs?? Tons, why not teleport over here to try and count those?? They don't fly away get scared off easily...because they STINK!!

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  8. WEvhave stink bugs too, Come on over...I'll help you count. (hate those little boogers).

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.