Wednesday 11 October 2023

wanna pass me...


Hey Peepers!  Wanna pass me that ol' bottle of glue up there on that there shelf?


Why?


Uh...


No reason.


MOUSES!


Hey Peepers!  Wanna pass me that ol' broom over in that there corner?  The little one, please.  The one with the short handle is what I need.


Why?


'CAUSE THE BIG ONE IS WAY TOO BIG FOR ME TO USE.


What a silly peep.


MOUSES!


Oh.  I see.  So you uh...  So you weren't wonderin' why I wanted the little paw-sized broom rather than the big one with the long handle but rather, you were wonderin' why I was wantin' any kinda broom at all.


Well uh...


No reason.


MOUSES!


Hey Peepers!  Wanna pass me...


Well that's just rude, that is.  You didn't even let me finish my sentence.


MOUSES!


Okay.  Fine.  I'LL TELL YOU WHY I NEED...


On second thought, never mind.


'CAUSE IF I TELL YOU WHY, YOU'LL BE ASKIN' ALL SORTS OF AWKWARD QUESTIONS 'BOUT HOW THIS HAPPENED AND HOW THAT HAPPENED AND HOW...


'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE ANSWERIN' AWKWARD QUESTIONS, THAT'S WHY.


And truth be told, I'm not even sure how it happened in the first place.


What?  How what happened you say?


Well...


Well all I know is, there were some papers up on the table in your...  I mean our....   I MEAN MY office, the other day.  But this mornin', said papers were all on the floor.  I have absolutely no idea how they ended up on the floor.  Absolutely NO idea, at all.


I swear.


AND I ALSO HAVE NO IDEA how they ended up all shredded to bits.  Shredded like they went through a shredder or somethin' like that.  Like you know...  A shredder.


Shredder...  Cat's claws...  Whatever.


MOUSES!


WELL THAT'S WHY I WAS WANTIN' THE GLUE!


Well 'cause I...  'Cause I was gonna piece all those pieces of paper together and glue 'em all up, and...


'CAUSE WHEN I USE STICKY TAPE THE TAPE GETS ALL STUCK ON MY FURS!


Learned that lesson the hard way, for sure.


MOUSES!


But don't worry, Peepers.  Even though I have absolutely no idea how what happened, happened, I did check to make sure no one used the aforementioned shredded paper as uh...


Um...


Well as a bathroom, if you know what I mean.



'CAUSE I'M NOT SWEEPIN' UP SHREDDED PAPERS TO GLUE 'EM TOGETHER IF SAID PAPERS ARE COVERED IN PEE.


Or worse.


Nope, that's the kinda job one leaves for a peep.


MOUSES!


*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

9 comments:

  1. MOL MOL dude! There's nothing like a bit of shredding-therapy, in fact we encourage it on a daily basis at BBHQ, on the electric bill, the water bill, the council tax bill, the telephone bill, the broadband bill... well mew get the picture; shredding is good for soul! MOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oohhh... OOHHH... Saffy and I need to take your advice and start shreddin' stuff Peepers would LIKE to see shredded. Then maybe she wouldn't freak out so much 'bout the results. MOUSES!

      Delete
  2. Of course shredded paper should be peed upon, Seville!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless, of course, you wanna piece those pieces of paper back together. Peed upon papers should only be pieced back together by peeps. MOUSES!

      Delete
  3. That paper does that sometimes, you know. Just up and shreds itself. Craziest thing! It sure is nice of you to offer to glue the pieces back togerger, Sivvers. Especially because you had nothing to do with it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, right? Right. It IS super thoughtful of me to offer to glue those pieces together ESPECIALLY as I had nothin' to do with the shreddin'. *cough cough* MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. Just make sure you don't shred any 'green papers'...they are quite hard to glue back together again...peed on or not. Just ask our Angel MJF if'n you can get him to answer you from his cloud at the RB...

    (He actually shredded more than one of those kind of papers...we had to take them to the bank for fixing the problem, LOL!)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh dear. And you aren't the mysterious shredder? No one knows who it is?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well shredded, Seville! If them things, them papers were of the top secret sort, why, you did ol' peepers a real big favour shredding them. Why, the weasel Syndicate could have sold the data to gosh only knows who!
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.