'Cause, Peepers. 'CAUSE.
Peepers, we've talked about this before. We talked about it just the other day! 'Cause IS TOO an answer. It's exactly like I told you the last time. Nothin' has changed. You asked me a question, and I answered it...
So once again, ipso facto...
'CAUSE IS TOO AN ANSWER.
Same as it was last week.
Not to mention the week before.
But if you insist that I elaborate...
'CAUSE IT'S EMBARRASSIN', that's why.
Lookie here, Peepers. Listen up. Cats like Saffy and me don't like it bein' known all over the neighbourhood that once in a blue moon, we don't come inside when you call us. At least, not right away. Come inside, that is. We don't want neighbourhood peeps thinkin' we're bein' naughty by not immediately comin' when you want us inside. AND WE CERTAINLY DON'T WANT neighbourhood cats thinkin' we're at your beck and call, always scamperin' inside the moment we hear you callin' our names.
'CAUSE LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE...
Peepers, if you call for us, softly, and we don't come right away...
YOU CAN ASSUME IT'S 'CAUSE WE'RE BUSY.
I don't know. I don't what we're busy doin'. Depends on the day. Depends on the time of day, too. Depends on a whole lotta things in a whole lotta ways. Suffice it to say...
Way too busy to come runnin' right away.
So on the rare occasion - and I really must emphasise RARE - that either Saffy or I don't come immediately when you call for us, whatever you do...
WHATEVER you do...
Whatever you do, DO NOT screech and holler our names at the top of your lungs for hours and hours AND HOURS on end - give or take an hour or two - like you did last night.
HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENIN', OL' PEEP OF MINE? HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENIN' AT ALL?
'CAUSE IT'S EMBARRASSIN'.
Saffy and I have reputations to uphold, you know. We don't want cats in the neighbourhood thinkin' you peeps are in control. We don't want 'em thinkin' we're not in charge.
Which we are. In charge, I mean. Saffy and I ARE in charge of this house.
And we don't want neighbourhood kitties thinkin' we aren't.
'CAUSE THEIR THINKIN' STUFF LIKE THAT ABOUT US WOULD BE EMBARRASSIN', THAT'S WHY.
Remember to mask up, too.