give me a cup of tea, please

I'll have one, too, Peepers.

I said, I'll have one, too.

Oh for mousin' out loud.  Just give me a cup of tea, already.

Wait!

If you would be so kind, please make mine with extra milk.  Actually, cream would be better.  And why don't you skip the hot water.  You can skip the teabag, too.  And in case you were wonderin', I really don't need that ol' cup.  Just pour some cream in my saucer.

Please.

MOUSES!

Well now that that's taken care of, you can be off.  Off to do whatever you peeps like to do, nowadays.  I, myself, have important things on the agenda.  Important things I'd like to do without havin' you hoverin' over my shoulder.

Important things like writin' my blog.

MOUSES!

Good, she's gone.  Gone off to do whatever peeps do.

So the other day, my friends, I caught Peepers readin' a few of my blog posts.  She was readin' some really good ones, too.  Some of my best!  Some of the funniest blog posts I ever did write.

Thing is though, she wasn't laughin'.

And I really don't know why.

MOUSES!

Now I SAY I don't know why - why she wasn't laughin', I mean - but really, I do.  At least I think I do.  I THINK I might know why the peep didn't find those blog posts the least bit funny.

The thing is...

The thing is...

The thing is, some peeps find it hard to laugh at themselves.  

Fact.

MOUSES!

It's true!  Peeps get all uppity when a cat publicly makes fun of 'em, and let's face it, my friends: my whole blog is all about makin' fun of my peeps.

But you know what I say?

I say, if you don't want me to write about and make fun of all the stupid things you do, don't do all those stupid things in the first place.

MOUSES!

But for some strange reason, Peepers doesn't agree.

OH SURE, she has no issues with makin' fun of the stupid things I do.

Well, she would have no issues makin' fun of the stupid things I do IF I did stupid things.

Which I don't.

So there.

MOUSES!

Besides, EVERYONE KNOWS one should never make fun of or laugh at a cat.  If there's one thing we cats hate, it's bein' laughed at.  There are a few other things, too, but bein' laughed at is right at the top of the list.  Nothin' worse a peep can do than laugh at a cat.  We cats are dignified creatures, you see, and as such, we absolutely HATE bein' laughed at.

Fact.

MOUSES!

Why just the other day...

Just the other day, I was gettin' some chin scritches and stuff - and thoroughly enjoyin' the attention - when I happened to forget just how close I was to the edge of the bed, and...

Well...

Well long story short, I almost fell off.

And I caught that peep of mine.  I caught that smirk formin' on her face.  I was SURE she was about to let out a loud laugh.

So I grabbed onto her leg with my two front paws - not to mention those paws' claws - and held on tight.  That's right, I sunk my claws into her leg and pulled myself back up onto the bed, and...

Well to make ANOTHER long story short, her laugh turned into a bit of a scream.

Well more like cry, really.

Yeah, the ol' cry of pain one hears when claws sink into a leg.

That'll teach her to laugh at a cat.

MOUSES!

But remember, the reverse situation where I, Seville the Cat, make fun of a peep is perfectly fine.  Perfectly acceptable, for sure.  In all honesty, it's really..

Well actually...

Well it's just the way things are supposed to be done!

Which is why, after sendin' the peep off to do whatever she's doin' right now, I'm feelin' free to write today's blog post 'bout her doin' a whole bunch of stupid ol' things.  Yup, I now have the privacy to write my blog post all about her stupidity, in peace.  To write it without havin' her hoverin' over my shoulder and stuff, correctin' what I write, and complainin' that I'm makin' her look silly or stupid or...

Well...

Bad.

Not my fault she does stupid things.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.