HEY PEEPERS! PEEPERS!
Are you deaf, woman?
Don't give me that look. What did I say?
Well if you'd been payin' attention the FIRST time I called out your name, I wouldn't have had to have been yellin', now would I.
Not a question. Statement of fact.
Oh yeah, I had somethin' to say. And believe-you-me, that somethin' is super duper important, for sure.
So anyway Peepers, you went and hung that bird feeder up way, way, WAY too high.
You know the one. The red one. The one hangin' above the railin' on the veranda.
Why? Why do I say it's too high?
Well Saffy Saffron Sassifras was watchin' some birdies flittin' about out there yesterday afternoon. Why they were flittin' in this heat, I don't know, but that's birds for you, I guess.
But anyway, Saffron was watchin' them birdies and one of 'em flew right over to the feeder and sat on its edge. And no sooner did he - or she, I didn't ask - land on the feeder, but Saffy was off like a flash. Why Saffy was runnin' and jumpin' in this heat, I don't know, but that's a Saffy for you, I guess.
But like I was sayin'...
Like I was sayin', Saffy jumped up onto the railin' with a mind to catchin' that birdie, but do you know what he found out?
Well DO you, Peepers? DO you? Do you know what my brother Saffy Saffron Sassifras found out?
Don't bother answerin', ol' peepsqueak of mine, for I shall be happy to give you the answer: SAFFRON DISCOVERED THAT YOU, PEEPERS, HUNG THAT BIRD FEED UP WAY, WAY, WAY TOO HIGH.
No way, no how, can a kitty reach a birdie sittin' on a feeder hangin' up that high.
Not even when said kitty is up on the railin'.
Note to self: order another kitty-friendly stepladder on-line. Last one mysteriously disappeared.
Remember to mask up, too.