don't touch that

Don't touch that.

Don't touch that!

Saffy, I said, DON'T TOUCH THAT NIP MOUSE.

MOUSES!

'Cause we're on strike, that's why.  'CAUSE WE'RE ON STRIKE!  You and I, Saffy my man, have officially gone on strike.  Which is why...

Which is why...

Which is why we're not doin' anythin' anyone like our two peeps might find cute or amusin' or - God forbid - helpful.

Not that we're ever all that helpful anyway, but you know.

MOUSES!

But you say you WANT to play with that nip mouse, Saffy?  You say you WANT to toss it about, battin' it here and there and pretty much everywhere?  You say you WANT to get nipped and have a little fun?

Well sorry, Saff, these are the sacrifices we cats must make.  Your playin' with that nip mouse is gonna make you look cute and adorable, and make the peeps smile and ooh and ahh and fawn over you like they tend to do when we cats do the adorable things that we do.

But we can't have that now, can we.

'CAUSE WE'RE ON STRIKE!

But you say you WANT to look cute and adorable, and make the peeps smile and ooh and ahh and fawn over you 'cause you're bein' all adorable?

Well...

Well I can see why you might wanna do that but like I said, you can't.

'CAUSE WE'RE ON STRIKE!

I thought I already said that.

MOUSES!

Saffy, you and I are in dire need of bein' shown a little respect around here.  We're in dire need of bein' shown a little respect from our peeps.  I'll admit that they are pretty good 'bout supplyin' us with food and treats and things, but I'm pretty sure that even as good as the fuds might be, THEY COULD BE A WHOLE LOT BETTER.  Not once has Peepers ever brought in a personal chef to prepare us our meals.

The nerve.

MOUSES!

But back to the issue at paw.  Back to the business 'bout showin' us the respect we deserve and NOT taking advantage of our cordial demeanor.

Saffron, you might not realise this but you and I are definitely bein' taken advantage of by our two peeps.  We're bein' taken advantage of, a lot.  A lot!  I came to this realisation last night, when you walked past Peepers sittin' there on the couch.  I saw her grab you and haul you up on her lap and start cuddlin' you and scritchin' you and coverin' you in kisses.  She acted like she had some kinda right to treat you like that.  Like she had a right to do whatever she wanted to do, without even askin', first.

Like I said before; the nerve!

MOUSES!

Oh don't be silly, Saffron.  Your enjoyin' bein' cuddled and scritched and covered in kisses is neither here nor there.  NO ONE has a right to just do that kinda thing without askin'.  Not even our peeps.

She REALLY SHOULD have asked, first.

So from here on in, you and I are officially on strike.  You're not to do anythin' cute or adorable in the presence of Peepers.  And you are NOT to allow her to cuddle you or kiss you or anythin' like that.  From here on in, you and I will totally ignore those two peeps of ours.  Just walk on past 'em without even a flick of a tail.  And we're gonna keep on behavin' like that until we have a solid agreement in place where we'll get all the respect we deserve forever and ever and...

*pricks up his ears*

*then sniffs the air*

Ixnay ethay olewhay ikestray ingthay, Saffy.

I SAID, IXNAY ETHAY OLEWHAY IKESTRAY INGTHAY, SAFFRON.  Nix the whole strike thing, my man.  She's gone and opened a tin of real salmon.

Talk about playin' hard ball durin' negotiations.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!