Sunday 14 May 2023

no way, no how...


"No way, no how, is this here plant gonna fit in that there pot.  MOUSES!"


I remember that joke my late, great brother Nissy made when he wrote it; and boy-oh-boy was it ever a super duper good joke, to be sure.


Nissy always wrote the best jokes.


MOUSES!


But anyway...


But anyway, I do believe Nissy wrote that joke 'round about Peepers' Day, way back when.  Peepers' Day; the day we cats celebrate our motherin'-type peeps.


Yeah, yeah... Some call it Mother's Day.  So sue me.


MOUSES!


But anyway...


But anyway, today is the day Saffy and I are celebratin' Peepers although truth be told, I'm not entirely sure why.  I mean, when you think about it...  When you really, REALLY think about it, Peepers kinda has it made 'round about here.  It's like EVERY day is Peepers' Day, to be sure.  


What we need is a Kitty's Day, or somethin' like that.  Unfortunately, the last time havin' a Kitty's Day was suggested, Peepers laughed 'til she was blue in the face.  In fact, she laughed so hard...


She laughed so hard I, Seville the Cat, thought I was gonna have to give her mouth to mouth or somethin' like that - which WOULD BE GROSS - but thankfully, Saffron came to my rescue and gave the peep a good slap, and that smartened her right up.


Slap...  Bitey...  Whatever.


MOUSES!


And there went my dreams of havin' a Kitty's Day to celebrate every year.


MOUSES!


So since it's just Peepers' Day and not Kitty's Day, I guess Saffy and I are expected to do somethin' special for the peep.  


Or so I've been told.


But figurin' out what that somethin' special should be is kinda hard 'cause like I said before, PEEPERS APPEARS TO ALREADY HAVE IT MADE 'round about here.  For mousin' out loud, SHE HAS THE PLEASURE OF LIVIN' WITH SAFFRON AND ME!


What on earth could be more special than that?


MOUSES!


But Saffy, bein' the suck up kinda kitty he is, decided to start early and sleep up on the bed by Peepers' tootsies the night before last which is somethin' Saffy never, ever has done before.  And he slept by her tootsies without even pouncin' on 'em or clawing 'em or biting 'em or anything like that which must have been really hard for Saffy on account of pouncin', catchin', clawin', and bitin' the peep's toes is one of his favourite pastimes, to be sure.


Guess he was too busy sleepin' to do any of that.


MOUSES!


And as for me...


Well as for me, since I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION of goin' anywhere near Peepers' toes, and I don't have any other kinda gift at the ready...


And since it's already Peepers' Day, and all...


Well...


Well I guess I've decided to give her a gift certificate or somethin' similar.


BUT NOT A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR MY SLEEPIN' ON THE BED OR ANYTHIN' LIKE THAT!


'Cause I'm not that kinda kitty, you see.


But perhaps I could stretch to give her a certificate entitling Peepers one hour of givin' me chin tickles or behind the ear scritches or even belly rubs.  One whole hour of havin' me all to herself.


Now THAT sounds like THE PURRFECT PEEPERS' DAY GIFT, to be sure.  One kitties all 'round the world can give to their peeps.


And one with no stinky peep toes at the foot of the bed to be found.


MOUSES!


*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

7 comments:

  1. A gift certificate that entitles the recipient to buy treats for any and all felines in their home. Plus a voucher that permits the said felines to more bed time and the best side of the bed, or middle as that is a side on my bed.
    But you'll have to get the peep to buy this with their eyes closed so they dont ruin the surprise!
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

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  2. Stella slept between our pillows last night so when I woke up in the middle of the night it was a shock to both of us. I couldn’t figure out what the grey lump was until it spoke to me! She has become more snuggly all the time. And since she went to the groomer she is even prettier. She has allowed me to start brushing her too.

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  3. Happy Mother’s Day to your very special peep from all of us!

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  4. Happy Mother's Day to your wonderful Peep! XO

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  5. Your gift certificate for your Peeper sure sounds like a great present, Sivvers. We can't imagine anything could be better than that for a Peep. We hope she had a wonderful and happy Peeper's Day. XO

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah, well...one can dream...
    Happy Mother's Day....er...Peeper's Day!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Any kitty who has a blogging human has got it made in the shade, Seville, and vice versa.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.