Sunday 19 February 2023

I'm meltin'! I'M MELTIN'!


I'm melting!  I'M MELTING!

Yup, that's just what I heard.

Yeah, that's right: ol' Peepers, here, was yelling 'bout how she was meltin' on account of her gettin' rained on, and in true witchy-woo form, once she got all wet from the rain, she...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

FINE.  Okay, so Peepers didn't get rained on.

FINE.  Okay, so Peepers didn't yell she was meltin' on account of bein' rained on, either.  In fact, she wasn't yellin' she was meltin', at all.  Nor was she actually meltin'.

Or so she says.

FINE.  So it's not actually rainin'.  In fact, the sun is shinin' and it's a beautiful day.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

You want me to take back the bit 'bout your bein' in true witchy-woo form?  The bit that insinuates you might, in fact, be like a...

You know...

Witch?

BUT I CAN'T LIE TO MY READERS LIKE THAT.

MOUSES!

FINE.  Peepers isn't a witch.

Or so she says.

MOUSES!


Okay, so here's what's really goin' on: the sun is shinin', the temperature is above zero, and there's a snowman out there in the yard who is meltin' and yellin' as loudly as he can, hopin' Peepers and I will take out some ice for him to help him keep his cool.

Yeah, yeah...  That's who it was.  It was a snowman yelling 'bout how he was meltin'.

Yeah, a snowman.  That's what I said.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

BUT MY READERS EXPECT MORE EXCITEMENT ON MY BLOG THAN THAT.

MOUSES!

Lookie here, Peepers.  Leave the writin' to me, will you?  You don't know the first thing 'bout writin' an excitin' blog post.  You don't know the first thing!

Nor the second, nor third.  Not even the fourth!

PEEPERS, EVEN REALITY TV IS MORE EXCITIN' THAN THAT.

And reality TV is real, Peepers.  Real as in reality.  Real is what reality means, you know.  You can't get more real than that.

Or so they say.

MOUSES!

FINE.

FINE!

I said, fine, didn't I, Peepers?

FINE.

Okay, so here's what's really happening 'round here: NOTHIN'.  Nothin' at all.  Nothin' but nothin' is happenin' around here.

MOUSES!

Well yeah, the sun is shinin'.

And yeah, it is a really nice day.

And yeah, the snow is meltin' out there.  Not snowmen, though.  Just snow, and...

On the other paw, if there were any snowmen out there, they WOULD likely be meltin', too.

Just not yelling 'bout their meltin' to anyone who might hear.

You know, on account of the pebbles used to make their mouths havin' fallen to the ground once the snow holdin' said pebbles had melted away.  And as everyone knows, once your mouth falls off, it's kinda hard to yell.

And that's why the HORRENDOUS, TERRIFIED CRIES OF ANGUISH from melting snowmen always go unheard, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

Peepers, if I've told you once, I've told you a million kajillion times, times ninety-two: LEAVE THE WRITIN' TO ME.

Hyperbole?

Never heard of it.

MOUSES!



*******************************


And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.





6 comments:

  1. Just think though, of the brilliant (yyet cold) adventure you could have if you had to rush to save a snow man, woman or child from melting! Getting them back to the North Pole in time. Theres a story in that I'm sure 🙂
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

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  2. I hope you still don't have a snowman hanging around Seville!

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  3. Well, I am glad that no one was actually melting. :)

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  4. Yeah, human, leave the writing to Seville...his stories are action-packed.

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  5. Hahaha. Hyperbole much, Sivvers? Whatever does your Peep mean by that? MOUSES!

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  6. Yikes, the snowman lost his speaking apparatus?? Mouses!!

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.