A peep in the paw is worth two in the bush.
Least that's what they say.
Okay, so that's not quite right. What they really say is, a BIRD in the HAND is worth two in the bush. But as a cat, I have paws and not hands; and even though we do have a bunch of birdies in the garden and stuff, I don't have any birdies in any of my paws on account of the fact that pawin' at birdies is frowned upon 'round here. Frowned upon by peeps, you see.
But peeps? Oh yeah, peeps I have.
And yeah, a peep in the paw is worth way, way, WAY more than any number of peeps in the bush; 'cause let me tell you somethin', my friends: FINDIN' PEEPS SKULKING IN AND AROUND THE BUSHES IN YOUR YARD IS REALLY KINDA WEIRD.
But you know what else is weird 'round here?
The other day, Saffy and I were out in the yard mindin' our own business, when some neighbour peep arrived on the scene. He wasn't comin' over for any particular reason, I don't think. I didn't see an empty cup in his hand, or hear a request to borrow some sugar. I think he was just bein' nosy.
I mean, if I wanted to be stared at and talked about like that, I'd enter a beauty contest or somethin'. And of course, I WOULD WIN. That goes without sayin'.
But the problem is, when attention is unwanted, even if it's sorta nice attention, IT'S STILL UNWANTED attention. You know what I mean?
And FYI, unwanted attention paid to a cat can earn someone a smacky paw or two.
And if you're stupid enough to be payin' that unwanted attention while stickin' your face right where a paw gettin' ready to smack can reach...
Okay, that smacky paw to the face bit didn't actually happen on account of my bein' a very civilised cat; but I'm tellin' you, IT COULD.
But anyway, I think what the sayin' should actually be is: a peep UNDER THE PAW - where I can keep an eye on said peep - is better than two peeps in the bush, for sure.
FINDIN' PEEPS SKULKING IN AND AROUND THE BUSHES IN YOUR YARD IS REALLY KINDA WEIRD.
Remember to mask up, too.