First things first: HAPPY EASTER, my friends. HAPPY EASTER!
Okay, so now that that's out of the way, I have some questions. Yup, I most certainly do. You see, I was thinking 'bout Easter the other day, and I realised I actually have a few questions about the Easter Bunny. Don't you?
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', why on earth would Seville the Cat have questions 'bout the Easter Bunny? After all, Seville the Cat HAS actually met the Easter Bunny on more than one occasion so he knows ALL 'BOUT that rascally rabbit, for sure.
Now I have to admit, you do have a point, but...
But I still have a question or two.
First of all, everyone always assumes the Easter Bunny makes all those eggs he paws out Easter Sunday mornin'. Everyone always assumes the Easter Bunny lays egg after egg after egg, all year long, preparin' for his big day of hidin' said eggs in flower beds, grassy lawns, and under sofas and chairs. Right? Right.
But the thing is, chickens lay eggs. Bunnies lay nothin' at all.
So does that mean the Easter Bunny has a whole contingent of egg-layin' chickens at Easter Bunny Headquarters and if so, is he paying 'em well?
And more importantly...
ARE THEY FREE RANGE?
Questions, questions... So many questions.
And then there's the question 'bout chocolate. The eggs chickens lay aren't made of chocolate, you see. They're made of... Well... Egg.
So maybe, there is no Easter egg layin' contingent of chickens at all.
Maybe the chocolate eggs the bunny delivers are actually made by elves.
Thing is though, EVERYONE KNOWS the vast majority of the world's elves live up at the North Pole with Santa Claus. I've been there many a time, and have met every single one of his elves.
Okay, so I haven't actually met every single one - there are quite a few of them, you see - but I've definitely been to the North Pole, more than once.
But back to the eggs and the elves.
If almost all of the world's elves live up at the North Pole and work for the big guy in red, how the mouses would the Easter Bunny have enough elves livin' at Easter Bunny Headquarters to make all those millions and billions of chocolate Easter eggs he needs Easter mornin'? HOW?
What's that? OUTSOURCIN', you say?
Now that's actually a very good thought, except...
Except even if I haven't met each and every one of the elves livin' up north, I do know Santa quite well, and...
AND HE'S NOT THE KINDA GUY WHO OUTSOURCES HIS ELVES.
So again, where does the Easter Bunny get all of his eggs? Not to mention chocolate bunnies and chickies and stuff.
I know! *clicks claws* He must order 'em on-line. Yup, you can shop for almost anythin' on-line these days. That's gotta be what that bunny does, to be sure. Probably orders a few million, every couple of days.
My gosh I'm a clever kitty.
Oh, and by the way. If you've been wondering 'bout the origins of the saying 'bout not puttin' all your eggs in one basket, I have the answer for you. Long story short, once upon a time, the Easter Bunny put all his eggs in one basket for deliverin' on Easter mornin' and needless to say, that basket broke due to the weight of those billions of eggs.
HAPPY EASTER, MY FRIENDS!!!
Remember to mask up, too.