couple means two

A couple means two.

"Two means two, Seville.  A couple means a few."

No...  NO.  No, Saffron, a few means a few; a couple means two.

"Listen up, Sivvers old man, a couple is more than two."

Hey!  Who the mouses are you callin' old?

"You."

Why you...   You...  YOU...  MOUSES!

"Seville, I know for a fact that a couple means more than two.  I have it on good authority, I do.  I know a couple is four, five, or even six.  At least!  And I have proof."

You DO?

No, that can't be, Saffron, 'cause like I said before, a couple means two.  It's basic math.  Basic as basic can be.  One plus one equals two.  This is math you would have learned in kitten school.

You did go to kitten school, right Saffron?  Learned how to count and add without usin' your claws?

"Yes, of course I did, Seville.  EVERY kitty goes to kitten school in Nova Scotia."

Hmmph.  Then how come you don't know that a couple means two?

"Because it doesn't.  Seville, Peep #1 asks me all the time if I need a couple of treats, and I always answer yes, of course.  And then when I count up the treats she has put in my kibble bowl, there's always more than two.  Yesterday, she gave me five treats all at once.  FIVE!  Five is way more than two.  Way more.  And since she described those five treats as being a couple....  Well, see?  Obviously, a couple is more than two."

"And before you ask, Sivvers, YES, I can count to five."

Okay, so you might have a point there, Saffron.  But I'm not sure you know exactly what your point is.  Your point MIGHT be that PEEPERS doesn't know a couple means two.

Either that or she can't count.

MOUSES!

And what's more...

"Excuse me, Seville.  I see Peepers is putting A COUPLE treats in my kibble bowl and I must say, I am feelin' a might peckish."

A might peckish...  Where the mouses does Saffron pick up these antiquated sayings?

Can't be from me.

Can it?

MOUSES!

"Hey Seville!  Want half of my couple of treats?  Today, apparently, a couple means eight."

Might as well, Saffron.  *sighs*  After all, you know what they say.  They say, if you can't beat 'em, at least make sure you get your share of the treats.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.